At what point is too many bodies?

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
spotteddog
not a newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:25 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: My eyes change color
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: United States

At what point is too many bodies?

Unread post by spotteddog »

Hey,
I’m 14 years old, lost my virginity over summer to a random guy who pressured me into it. Since, I’ve had sex with 2 different guys, none of which being my boyfriend. Most of my friends are still virgins, I’m a sophomore in high school. I feel kind of guilty sometimes, but I realize it’s my body and my choice. The guys I’ve had sex with I wasn’t even into, I just wanted to hook up for fun. Is this a problem? Also, I am not on birth control. I do have a pregnancy scare question that I do not know where to ask about. I want to go on the pill really bad because every time I’ve had sex I end up stressing out severely worrying that I am pregnant. My mom knows I am not a virgin, but she only knows about the first boy who I didn’t really consent to and not about anyone else who I have/have wanted to hook up with. My periods are somewhat irregular, which makes me stress out more. My parents have a hard time trusting me already, so I am afraid to ask to go on birth control without my mom freaking out, as she has before. What should I do? I’ve thought about abstaining, however I end up making decisions last minute due to the rare opportunity to meet up with a guy. I don’t regret anything, and I enjoy having sex and I have condoms readily available. I know I have a few questions scattered here, sorry about any unclarity.
Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: At what point is too many bodies?

Unread post by Mo »

Hi there spotteddog, welcome to Scarleteen.

There's not really a set "too many" people for anyone to have had sex with. What I do think, however, is that if you find yourself worrying about pregnancy after sex and worrying in general about whether your sexual habits are ok or not, it's probably a good idea to put the brakes on for a bit and hold off on more sexual activity while you sort those things out. Sex should feel good not just during the sexual activity, but afterwards; if you're worrying about pregnancy after sex every time, that's not going to be a good situation for you.
We have an article and checklist that can serve as a helpful tool for evaluating if you're ready to be sexual with a certain person at a certain time: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

You say you have condoms available, but have you used them every time you've had sex? It is really important to use them every time, both for pregnancy prevention and to reduce the risk of STI transmission. If you find that guys who you're thinking of hooking up with are dismissive of condom use or otherwise put up a fuss about it, that's going to be a pretty clear sign that they aren't going to be great partners for you and that having sex with them will only increase your stress levels and expose you to signifiant risk.

Since you are sexually active, it's a good time to have a general sexual health checkup, including STI testing, and you could talk to your doctor about birth control options then. I know you said your parents don't trust you that well, but conversations with your doctor are confidential; you should be able to ask questions about STI testing and birth control without your doctor telling your parents anything you talked about. If you want more specific ideas about how you could talk to your parents about getting birth control other than condoms, or accessing healthcare, we can talk about that.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic