Hi shadowsong,
There's quite a bit going on in these posts, so I'm going to address a few different things and we can go from there. First off, I want to give you this piece, in case you haven't already read it, because it might be relevant to your feelings about your experience versus the experience of other trans people:
Trans Summer School: Am I Trans Enough? . When you say you find them mostly talking about the physical aspects of transition rather than the emotional or coping aspects, is that a pattern you notice in written or other static spaces? Or is it happening in conversations or contexts like support groups? The reason I ask is that, if it's happening in conversation, I think you have some chance of being able to ask about the aspects that you feel are most relevant to you (such as how other trans people deal with some of the emotional elements of their identity). Too, it may also help to remember that, while it may feel like other people have gone through their physical transition very hastily, for the most part trans folks who physically transition in any way have thought through the process as much as they needed to. But it's also okay for you to feel as though you'd need much more time to make those decisions than other people did.
I hear you saying that you're struggling to practice self-care or self-love, things that you think might help you out. When you say you feel like you're being denied the chance to practice them, is there a specific thing that happens that makes you feel that way? Or do you feel like most self-care practices focus on the physical side of things, which is something that you know sets off your dysphoria?
It also sounds like you're struggling to find things that make your days feel full or satisfying. Is that something you'd like help brainstorming ways to address?