nothing feels good???

[thisisnotfun]

so for the past year or so i've been trying to masturbate (i'm a girl) but nothing i try has ever worked. i know my anatomy, so not knowing myself in that sense isn't the issue. i've tried using my hands, humping pillows, using lube (aka coconut oil), using "appropriately sized" bottles from my bathroom and electric toothbrushes (with condoms over them of course), watching porn, fantasizing, etc etc etc. clitoral stimulation just feels like a little tickle (and mine is pretty covered up/hard to get to in the first place) and penetration isn't necessarily uncomfortable but it does nothing at all for me.
i get turned on by things as a normal person would. it never lasts long, and trying to do the deed immediately is hard because i get pretty skeeved out by the idea of possible infections so i have to make sure everything is clean before i begin (is that normal/a valid concern?)
anyways– i feel like i've tried everything. am i doing anything wrong? is there anything wrong with me?

[Sam W]

Hi thisisnotfun,

There isn't one, specific way people are supposed to masturbate. It may be that you haven't found a way that works for you yet. And for some people masturbation will never be their cup of tea. There's nothing wrong with that, either.

When you've experimented in the past, have you felt relaxed and aroused during the process? Do you feel like you can take your time? Some of what you're describing sounds like you putting pressure on yourself to climax or to masturbate, which is going to make pleasure less likely. Are there other things in your life making you stressed or unhappy? Stress can sometimes make it harder to enjoy sexual activities, be that with yourself or with other. As for the cleanliness, taking steps to make sure toys are covered or your hands are washed is very sound in terms of preventing infection.