Associating Foreplay with Bad Feelings?

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krakrak
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Associating Foreplay with Bad Feelings?

Unread postby krakrak » Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:58 pm

A couple months ago, my boyfriend at the time cheated on me by making out and fingering another girl at a party I was at with him. Before they did, they were playing with their feet and then proceeded to do that.

While I'm kinda getting better, I can't play with someone else's feet or let someone touch me cause it immediately reminds me of what happened and makes me intensely sad. I really don't want to be hung up on what happened forever, so I want to know how to stop associating this sort of foreplay with what happened. How can I feel better?

Thank you for any replies

Heather
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Re: Associating Foreplay with Bad Feelings?

Unread postby Heather » Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:04 pm

I'm sorry this happened to you.

What do you think about just letting this play out? In other words, why not just figure when the time is right and you have moved past this more, you probably won't have such a strong association? After all, a couple months really isn't forever. :)

Is this a kind of sexual play you're otherwise really into and so really miss? Or is it something you can just wait out?
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krakrak
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:53 pm
My pronouns: She/her
Location: Sydney

Re: Associating Foreplay with Bad Feelings?

Unread postby krakrak » Thu Sep 14, 2017 12:34 am

I think I can wait it out to feel better. I definitely can live without it. Thank you for the advice

Redskies
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Re: Associating Foreplay with Bad Feelings?

Unread postby Redskies » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:03 am

Would you like any help or support in dealing with the sad feelings or other feelings you have around this? Like Heather said, a lot of it is likely about time; but we're also happy to talk with you about any of it if you feel like having somewhere to talk and process, and someone to listen, would be helpful to you.
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.


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