Thanks for this topic. c:
To my aunt, who won't listen to a dang word I say simply because she's older than me:
You weren't involved in my early life much and I understand why. You have a job with an odd, constantly-changing schedule and so you don't get much time off or much sleep. That's naturally going to make things difficult when it comes to visiting your niece.
But just because you've been back in my life for just a few months, that does not mean that you know me. At all. And don't you DARE act like my mom is the one who doesn't get me.
On the other hand, I've learned a lot of things about you in this time. I've learned that you're sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and bigoted against anybody who doesn't conform to your "normal". No, there's nothing wrong about a man wearing a scarf, and that doesn't mean he's "gay" or "wants to be a woman", which you seem to think are bad things to begin with. Yes, people can get tattoos and piercings without "trying to tell people there's something wrong with them and to stay away", and quite frankly I have no idea how you even came to that conclusion. Yes, it's fine for your male coworker to have a Little Mermaid coffee mug. And when I opened up to you about that wonderful time I saw the ghost of my first dog, OF COURSE I was upset when you told me "that was just a demon trying to trick you."
Naturally, I didn't want to have a serious talk with you the other day, but it's not like you gave me a choice. Nope, I was at your house, and that means it's lecture time. You tried to convince me of some absolutely ridiculous nonsense and it's a miracle I didn't bust out laughing at you right then and there. I almost did, in case you were wondering why I cracked a smile from time to time.
First of all, I may be fifteen, but I am not sheltered. I know the world can be a terrifyingly, disgustingly horrible place, but I also know it can be an amazing, hopeful, and loving place, and I will continue my dream of it becoming like that for everyone some day. I won't give up. We've made so much progress since our humble beginnings, and by god we've had our setbacks, but things have already gotten better since I was young.
All men aren't jerks, and I'm not naïve for not believing you on that. I know some people are, don't get me wrong. This may come as a shock to you, since you seem to think I "see everything as colors and butterflies, when they're all actually rats", but I actually do keep my guard up around most strangers. I don't like to, but there are too many horror stories for me to be able not to. However, I'm not going to go into "full prosecutor mode" every time I have to talk to a guy, examining and picking apart every word he says for any double meaning like you told me to. That's crazy. Can't I just have conversations with them, like they're, you know, normal people?
Also, what the heck do you mean "society is training men not to be the providers, and to rely on women to do the work"? There is NOTHING wrong with men who stay at home or women who work, and no, men shouldn't be required to be the providers. Have you ever considered that I might want to provide, too? Oh, that's right, you have, but you think I'll grow out of it, because "wives are supposed to submit to their husbands".
Have fun finding out that I'm not interested in getting married anyway, just living together will be enough for me. And when I do live with others, decisions will be made equally and discussed civilly.
Also, do you even realize how ridiculous you sound when you try to tell me that "All men will climb the highest mountains, swim the deepest rivers, fight off all the lions, just to sleep with you ONCE, and then they won't cross the street to sleep with you twice"? Just...what? I don't think anyone's that desperate for a one-night stand, Auntie. And if they were, I don't think they wouldn't cross the street for sex again, just saying.
And stop calling me "innocent". You act like I don't know what sex is and how it works. Sorry, not sorry, but between my open-minded mom and sex ed sites like this one, I'm pretty dang sure I've got most myths in my mind busted by now. Also, though this may shatter your image of me as some sweet, innocent little princess angel, I like to think about sex a lot. Yeah, I'm shy and I blush easily, but there's a reason I told you my favorite saying is "It's always the quiet ones".
Stop putting down my mom behind her back. You say I'm "just like you", but when have I agreed with ANY of the nonsense you've tried to teach me? I'm well past my impressionable stage, Auntie, I'm not going to trust everything you say because you said it. I'm a lot like my mom, actually. We share the same personality type, the same views, and the same interests. She's never sheltered me. She's always been open with me. She's taught me well.
And while I've luckily never had an in-depth discussion with you on this, it's clear that you don't think well of polyamory. I mention the concept of having more than one romantic partner and them having the same in passing, as a joke, and suddenly you're raving to me about "not settling" and "being used". Actually, I'd define monogamy as settling for me, as I know I'm fully capable of loving more than one person equally, and would actually be happy for any future partners if they had found other partners. It doesn't mean it's not a real relationship, or that I'd be being taken advantage of, thanks. I know what I want.
Multiple times during this talk we had, you told me I you wanted me to come to you for advice or answers on anything. No. I will NEVER go to you for anything of the sort, and this conversation only cemented that decision. You're a bigot. You're condescending, and don't treat my opinions as valid because I'm young and inexperienced. You don't know me as well as you think you do, so don't act like you know me. Don't act like you know me better than my friends and family do. Don't act like you know me better than I do.