Hey everyone,
So The problem is that I never had sex with a girl so am still virgin, but I have already tried to do it three times before and everytime I cum before penetration, we do the foreplay and everything but when I try to penetrate her I cum directly before even touching the vagina... Last time Was the past weekend And I tried to have sex with my gf for the first time, but when I tried to penetrate her I feeled that I will cum immediately so I stoped...And now I don't know what I should do
Thank you anyway.
Can't penetrate my Gf
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Sam W
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Re: Can't penetrate my Gf
Hi AghostB,
For starters, it might help to know that most people with penises reach orgasm from penetration after a few minutes, so even if penetration does occur with you and your girlfriend it would only make up a small part of your sexual activity. I'm pointing this out because it sounds like you're really focused on penetration as the "goal" of sex, when really it's only one possible part of it, and focusing too much on achieving it can make sex less pleasurable. Plus, being with a new partner increases the liklihood of quick ejaculation, so that could also be at play here (you can read more about that in this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... et_started ). You might, instead, want to focus on all the other sexual things you two can do together that aren't intercourse. As you get more comfortable with each other and learn new things about your bodies, sustained intercourse may become easier. Does that make sense?
For starters, it might help to know that most people with penises reach orgasm from penetration after a few minutes, so even if penetration does occur with you and your girlfriend it would only make up a small part of your sexual activity. I'm pointing this out because it sounds like you're really focused on penetration as the "goal" of sex, when really it's only one possible part of it, and focusing too much on achieving it can make sex less pleasurable. Plus, being with a new partner increases the liklihood of quick ejaculation, so that could also be at play here (you can read more about that in this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... et_started ). You might, instead, want to focus on all the other sexual things you two can do together that aren't intercourse. As you get more comfortable with each other and learn new things about your bodies, sustained intercourse may become easier. Does that make sense?
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AghostB
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Re: Can't penetrate my Gf
Hey, Thank you for responding.
Maybe you are right, as You said we will try to discovere our body's together.
But I just want to know is it normal at my age(18) and as a virgin to have such a problem (Ejaculate before even having sex)? Because I don't really feel great about it...
Maybe you are right, as You said we will try to discovere our body's together.
But I just want to know is it normal at my age(18) and as a virgin to have such a problem (Ejaculate before even having sex)? Because I don't really feel great about it...
-
Sam W
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 9873
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
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- Location: Desert
Re: Can't penetrate my Gf
You're welcome!
The tricky thing (and the awesome thing) about bodies and sex is that there's no such thing as "normal." Everybody is going to be a little bit different. What we do know is that it's common for younger people to ejaculate fairly soon after stimulation, and that nerves or excitement often play a role in that. So, there's no need to feel down on yourself about this. It's harder to talk about the role virginity plays because virginity isn't a concrete, physical thing. It's an idea that people define in different ways (for some people virginity means not having had intercourse, while for others it means not having had any kind of sexual contact, and so on). Thinking about this in terms of inexperience or newness to a partner is more helpful, because those things can affect reactions like ejaculation.
The tricky thing (and the awesome thing) about bodies and sex is that there's no such thing as "normal." Everybody is going to be a little bit different. What we do know is that it's common for younger people to ejaculate fairly soon after stimulation, and that nerves or excitement often play a role in that. So, there's no need to feel down on yourself about this. It's harder to talk about the role virginity plays because virginity isn't a concrete, physical thing. It's an idea that people define in different ways (for some people virginity means not having had intercourse, while for others it means not having had any kind of sexual contact, and so on). Thinking about this in terms of inexperience or newness to a partner is more helpful, because those things can affect reactions like ejaculation.