Depressed and confused?

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Confusedhuman21
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Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Confusedhuman21 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:03 pm

I've been feeling depressed and have no motivation to do anything. I am very confused about my gender identity. I am not sure if I'm genderqueer or transmasculine or bigender. I sent my mom a long message about my experiences and what I'm feeling and that I want to present myself in a masculine way with short hair and guys clothing. All she said was why I am mentioning this at this time and that I'm pretty and why would i want to do that. I think my mom is angry at me and disappointed in me. Shes not understanding me. I don't know what to do? I really need someone to talk to who understands what I'm dealing with ?

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Sam W » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:40 am

Hi Confusedhuman,

I'm sorry you're in such a rough place right now, and that your mom was not supportive of you. How would you like us to best support you right now? We can recommend resources that might help you out, give you space here to talk through your feelings and offer support and advice where we can (and hopefully other users can chime in as well), or something else entirely.

I also want to give you this article specifically about feeling confusion around your gender: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gende ... e_a_bummer

Confusedhuman21
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:22 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at drawing
My primary language: English
My pronouns: He/him
My sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: United States

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Confusedhuman21 » Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:33 am

Sam W wrote:Hi Confusedhuman,

I'm sorry you're in such a rough place right now, and that your mom was not supportive of you. How would you like us to best support you right now? We can recommend resources that might help you out, give you space here to talk through your feelings and offer support and advice where we can (and hopefully other users can chime in as well), or something else entirely.

I also want to give you this article specifically about feeling confusion around your gender: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gende ... e_a_bummer


Advice and resources would be good. Thanks for the article I will read it. Thank you.

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 3785
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I handle raptors for fun
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Sam W » Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:57 am

Okay! Can you give me a sense of how much, if any, reading about or exploration of genderqueer or other gender nonconforming identities? And how connected would you say you are to a local LGBTQ community? That way we can try not to refer you to places you've already been.

For my own advice, I can't say it much better than Mo does in that first article I gave you. It's completely okay to be unsure of your identity for a little while or for a long while. It's also totally okay to try out different ways of expressing or identifying your gender to see which ones feel like the right fit for you right now. There's no deadline for having it all figured out.

Here are some more resources that you can try out:
Welcome to Trans Summer School! (this series is for anyone who is trans or otherwise gender nonconforming)
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... anguage=es

Confusedhuman21
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:22 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at drawing
My primary language: English
My pronouns: He/him
My sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: United States

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Confusedhuman21 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:08 pm

Sam W wrote:Okay! Can you give me a sense of how much, if any, reading about or exploration of genderqueer or other gender nonconforming identities? And how connected would you say you are to a local LGBTQ community? That way we can try not to refer you to places you've already been.

For my own advice, I can't say it much better than Mo does in that first article I gave you. It's completely okay to be unsure of your identity for a little while or for a long while. It's also totally okay to try out different ways of expressing or identifying your gender to see which ones feel like the right fit for you right now. There's no deadline for having it all figured out.

Here are some more resources that you can try out:
Welcome to Trans Summer School! (this series is for anyone who is trans or otherwise gender nonconforming)
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... anguage=es


I have read few articles on Tumblr and everydayfeminism website. I read about terms for genders on Tumblr and wiki. I am not connected with the lgbtq community in my area. I am a very shy person and I don't have any friends.

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 3785
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I handle raptors for fun
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Sam W » Thu Nov 09, 2017 8:48 am

Got it. Is connecting to that community, either online or in person, something you're interested in exploring? It can definitely be intimidating to explore new spaces when you're already pretty shy, but getting more connected to people who share, or at least support and understand your experiences, can be really helpful (and in some ways you're already taking the first steps in that process by posting here, because this is very much an lgbtq space).

Confusedhuman21
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:22 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at drawing
My primary language: English
My pronouns: He/him
My sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: United States

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Confusedhuman21 » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:42 pm

Sam W wrote:Got it. Is connecting to that community, either online or in person, something you're interested in exploring? It can definitely be intimidating to explore new spaces when you're already pretty shy, but getting more connected to people who share, or at least support and understand your experiences, can be really helpful (and in some ways you're already taking the first steps in that process by posting here, because this is very much an lgbtq space).


I think online would be easier for me.

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 3785
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I handle raptors for fun
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Sam W » Fri Nov 10, 2017 9:06 am

Okay! Of course, you're welcome to start conversations or engage with other users here if that feels comfortable to you. A few other spaces you could try are:
https://lgbtchat.net/
https://www.7cups.com/lgbtq-chat-room/

Confusedhuman21
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:22 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at drawing
My primary language: English
My pronouns: He/him
My sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: United States

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Confusedhuman21 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:18 pm

Sam W wrote:Okay! Of course, you're welcome to start conversations or engage with other users here if that feels comfortable to you. A few other spaces you could try are:
https://lgbtchat.net/
https://www.7cups.com/lgbtq-chat-room/


Ok. Thank you so much! And I will check out these sites.

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 3785
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I handle raptors for fun
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Depressed and confused?

Unread postby Sam W » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:49 am

You're welcome! Is there anything else you'd like information or support around right now?


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