Hi
I don't now if I should open a new topic, or if it's ok if I keep writing here.
I've given more thought to the reasons why sex stresses me out.. and lately I've come to one idea, an idea that makes me sad.
Maybe I'm stressed because I'm not ready for or sure about the boyfriend I have. And that frightens me.. because I think he's great and I don't now if I'll ever find someone so great.
But he already pictures a future with me like marriage.. (you know we're at the "right" age for that.. ) no ring yet, so how serious could we actually be, right?
People around are getting married and I thought that was what I wanted, and I guessed I still do.being married has always been my life dream, really I don't care if it sounds silly.
But with all my parents drama I don't know.. I have like tons of different thoughts running through my head, like is he right for me, am I right for him, is the life that we can give each other enough? Would I live with him up to my expectations as a couple?
Right now the house is what worries me the must, it's like a simbol to me. He wants to buy it maybe somewhere I don't like but it's cheaper. Mmm is that what my future looks like somewhere cheap where I don't feel comfortable ? And I should be ok with that because I love him ? Is love ever enough ?
I think I need to be calmed and cold to make the right decisions.
So having sex.. and being worried about getting pregnant really scares me because I'm not sure about us as a couple. What would I do with his baby ?
I know that next week I get my period and my HPT, 20 days after sex came negative and I should just let it go. But all this stress has made me rethink everything.. and I guess it's ok to see things with another light, but I wish life would be more simple.
We've talked about my worries, and I'm afraid I hurt him with them. But I don't want to be quite about worries specially if they have to do with our future as a couple.
I don't know where this worries come from though.