I'm a 15-year-old Asian boy. Here's the thing: I spent my 3rd grade in the US and it left a HUGE cultural impact on me. I found that there was a big difference between the American girls and the girls from my country. For example, I felt the American girls were more likely to share their thoughts with me(despite I was of a different race). I discovered that I was attracted to them. Like, REALLY attracted. I thought it'll just go away somehow but it didn't.
Now I'm in 10th grade, and I've never been in a relationship with anyone. In fact there were four girls in my class that liked me. One of the girls was pretty enough, but I just couldn't synchronize with her. I couldn't synchronize with a lot of girls in my class. During middle school I felt like I was hiding a part of myself away,it was really awkward and even a bit depressing.
I became more aware of this when I attended a camp last summer. The campers were Asian American/Canadian kids, so we were of the same race and for once I felt comfortable. I just felt like I was finally ME. There wasn't a particular girl that I liked but I knew deep down that I wanted to be around them. I enjoyed talking to them and laughing with them. But they were raised in another county under different culture. So how can I "Belong" and "Not Belong" to a group at the same time? Why do I feel more attracted to the girls from other countries? I know this was maybe a bit too long, but I'm really confused, pls help