13 year olds

[JackHamilton]

hi,
when I was 13,and in primary school,many boys from my class would come to girls and slap their butt,without asking.Is that rape?

[Sam W]

Hi Jack,

When we talk about sexual assault on this site, a definition we use when talking about unwanted touch is, " Where on the body is unwanted touch rape? Touching someone’s vulva or vagina, breasts, buttocks, anus, penis, testicles, mouth, or other parts of the body without permission, when that touch is intentional and sexual on your part, or is considered sexual by most people, are all rape or sexual assault (in some areas, those terms mean the same thing, but in others, they differ based on the activity or situation). That's from this article if you're interested in reading more: What is rape, and what is it like to be raped? . So, the situation you describe could fall under that definition. Some people might also define it as sexual harassment rather than sexual assault. Really though, the girls who were the targets are ultimately the people who get to decide what they want to call what happened. Does that help?

[JackHamilton]

yeah,kinda

[JackHamilton]

but what if someone is like legally an adult,but in mind a child,and drunk,and just been through a rape without knowing it,and suffers psychosis,and is suicidal and touches a girl's breasts and mouth without her consent,thinking it's legal,knowing that it is bad,but thinking it's just as bad as someone not talking to you after sex - is that person held guilty under all this circumstances?

[Sam W]

Before we get into that situation, can you tell me if you're describing something that actually happened, or if this is a hypothetical situation? I ask because sometimes "what ifs" can become much harder to talk about than things that actually occurred.

[JackHamilton]

it's a real situation

[Heather]

Jack, if this is something you're reporting having done yourself (rather than having been the victim of someone else doing), I'm afraid that's not something we have the capacity to help users with here at Scarleteen, and is outside our user guidelines. My understanding is that you currently have a therapist, so that is who I would advise bringing this to and seeking help from with this particular thing.

If this is instead something that happened to you, that someone else did to you, or something that happened to someone you know, we have the ability to help with that.