Rape and Fiance

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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kreed95
not a newbie
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
Age: 28
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Primary language: English
Pronouns: kim
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Alabama

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by kreed95 »

No but the more resources the better because than I can look into what fits me best.
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Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9849
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Age: 32
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Primary language: english
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Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by Sam W »

Okay! Here is another Alabama-specific resource that might help you out: https://www.domesticshelters.org/al/ala ... statistics

Can I ask if your fiance has ever offered you support around getting away from your family, given that he witnessed them abusing you first-hand?
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kreed95
not a newbie
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: kim
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Alabama

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by kreed95 »

Yes he did. But at the time neither of us had a job. So we was kind of stuck in the situation. But now I have 3 and he has 1. I try and stay awake till they go to bed and wake up before they do. I stay in my room unless they need me. Or if they need to cut grass or something else because they don't clean the house. I just make the best out of a horrible situation
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9537
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by Heather »

Just so you know, you may have transitional housing available to you as someone looking to get out of domestic violence, housing that may not cost you at all.

I'd suggest following up with these resources now: no need to wait until you can afford rent. They may be able to help you find affordable, or even free, temporary housing to help get you out of abuse and over the housing-issues hump.

When talking to the YWCA, specifically, know they can likely help you with both these sets of needs: both getting out of the domestic violence you have been living in AND help getting counseling and/or support groups to heal from the sexual abuses/assaults. Just be sure to ask about all those needs so they know.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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kreed95
not a newbie
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: kim
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Alabama

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by kreed95 »

ok thanks I will continue to look into it.
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9537
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by Heather »

How's it been going? Anything we can help you more with, or additionally, or that you want to talk more about? :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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kreed95
not a newbie
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: kim
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Alabama

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by kreed95 »

Nothing really. I've just been staying in my room and working 15 hours a day. So by the time I come home I just go to bed. So I just try to avoid
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Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9849
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by Sam W »

Have you had any luck getting in touch with any of the resources in your area? If so, how has that gone?
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kreed95
not a newbie
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: kim
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Alabama

Re: Rape and Fiance

Unread post by kreed95 »

ITs good
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