I need help.

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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AGSapphire
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:46 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm very passionate about social justice.
Primary language: English.
Pronouns: She/her or Fae/Faers.
Sexual identity: I am a lesbian.
Location: Hilo, Hawai`i

I need help.

Unread post by AGSapphire »

hello! the names sapphire (not irl name) and i need to come forward about something. i heard about this term called child on child sexual assault, and i think i could be a Victim but I don't want to confront any of my peers or parents about it because I feel like ITs not truly cocsa. Anyways, here I go.
TW for sexual talk. :oops:
I was in health class with my one friend and another boy. We are school age, and I'll censor their names. I'm NB girl, my friend is a girl, and the boy is well, a boy.
My friend (let's call her, Jessica) was 'clueless' about how babies were conceived. The boy (let's call him jake) then tells her, and they both procide to make jokes about it. I was cringing (obviously I had known much about this topic). They then started to talk about genitalia and how they worked. As I went to plug in my phone, in the corner of my ear I can hear them talking about my genitals being in a jar. Of course, this hit me off in the wrong way.
The problem is, this kid has left this school and moved to another state far away from ours.
Am I considered a victim, or if not what? Thank you very much.
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Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1407
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
Age: 39
Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Canada

Re: I need help.

Unread post by Karyn »

Welcome to Scarleteen, Sapphire.

I'm sorry you overheard someone talking about you in that way. At the very least, it was incredibly insensitive for them to say those things, but whether or not it "counts" as abuse doesn't actually matter as much as how it made you feel, and it was clearly distressing for you and had an impact.

In terms of what you need from us, what kind of support do you think would be useful to you? What can we do to help you right now?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9540
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I need help.

Unread post by Heather »

(Just to be clear, should it matter to you, assault is a term used to describe a physical action, like hitting someone, or rape. So what you are describing here is not something that would fall under the rubric of assault.)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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AGSapphire
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:46 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm very passionate about social justice.
Primary language: English.
Pronouns: She/her or Fae/Faers.
Sexual identity: I am a lesbian.
Location: Hilo, Hawai`i

Re: I need help.

Unread post by AGSapphire »

I don't know what type of help I need. I'm just very confused about my situation right now. I'm sorry.
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Carmen
not a newbie
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:25 pm
Age: 27
Awesomeness Quotient: disco dancing on roller skates
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Location: United States

Re: I need help.

Unread post by Carmen »

Hi AGSapphire,
That's totally okay that you do not know. Is this something you want to talk about more here? Or maybe brainstorm people in your life you may be able to talk to and receive support from?
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