Hi to all at scarleteen
I REALLY need some help and advice because this is something that has been going on for 10 years, infact it’s been on my mind since I was about 12 and I’m in my mid 20’s now and I’m still very confused. I understand that I might not get a deffinate answer as to what sexual orientation I am ( but to be honest I am at that point where I just want someone just to tell me If I am bisexual or not) but if there are ways I could find out for certain please guide me.
I think I am bisexual but I am hiding in the closet because I never wanted to openly label myself as a bisexual woman until I knew 100%. I remember telling my friend when I was 12 that I thought I was bisexual but I was young and was starting to find out who I was a person. I thought it was just a phase I was going through, but since it’s been so long and I am still confused, I don’t think it is a phase. I am getting a lot more comfortable as to who I am now I have got older ,but I think if I could clarify my sexuality I would be able to find myself a lot more.
From early teenage years I was always looking at men, but I would also always check out women. At first I ignored the fact that I was checking women out and just thought it was me comparing myself to them but then I started getting confused because I started finding women sexually attractive. I have dated men all my life and I never have had a relationship or had sex with a woman.
I have only kissed a girl passionately once but I felt comfortable with it, I didn’t think “Should I be doing this?” and I have kissed girls on the lips on numerous occasions and yet still I’m ok with it.
But I think if I did come out as bisexual and did start dating women, I think would be nervous holding their hand in public at first as I would be coming to terms with it myself and as a person I wouldn’t want to hide my relationship as I want to show I am proud of my partner.
I would go on dates with women but I wouldn’t know how to go about it, I don’t want to set up a dating profile just to date women just for my clarification. It wouldn’t be fair to go on a date with a woman just to clarify my sexuality.
I do look at female celebrities and think they are hot and I do imagine having sex with them and to be honest I fantasize about women more then men.
I am sorry if this is a lot to read but I am so desperate to get clarification. I need as many people to advise me as I can so I can get different opinions. Should I talk to my other friends who are not straight about it?
Thank you