I've grown up and still live in a fairly judgmental family environment when it comes to the topic of homosexuality and the LGBT+ community. My family is one of strong faith in the Christian religion, and while I too do share some of that faith, I am very, very accepting to those who are different from me. (When I was in high school I was uber religious and lost so many friends due to hating on those of the LGBT+ community. I am ashamed of myself and wish I could go back and change things. It was a good learning and eye opening experience I feel)
Growing up I was taught that being gay is wrong. While I am totally accepting now, there is still that slight confliction deep inside of me that is making me doubt myself and the feelings I've been having recently; those of bisexual feelings. I've always been straight. I've only ever dated guys. Heck, I have a crush on a guy as of this moment. But over the past few weeks, I've been feeling this nagging feeling. And it's not just like a normal feeling that you get, it's like a strong feeling that keeps growing. I've never been attracted to those of the same sex as me (I'm female) and now I think I'm starting to grow an attraction to females. It's not something I see as "yeah, no thanks" anymore...I now view it as something very normal and I can see myself dating a girl, if that makes sense and doesn't sound totally strange.
As of right now, whoever reads this post is/are the only person/people who know about this. I have not spoken to family, as I don't even want to go down that route, or friends, not because I don't trust them, but because I am scared to hear what they think, and a few of them are judgmental and if the guy I like finds out I might be bi, he may not like me anymore. I'm confused. I'm kind of scared. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this besides y'all. Any advice or testimonies would be very appreciated. Thank you for reading <3
- Rhae, 20 yrs old