What do I do?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
jackojacko2000
not a newbie
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 10:01 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Location: Australia

What do I do?

Unread post by jackojacko2000 »

There is this girl that I have been friends with (not best friends to be clear) and we went on a date together the other day to see if there was any chemistry (I didn't say that, I just asked her out with my intention to see if, given some alone time, I would feel a connection). I knew I liked her as a friend but, having never had a girlfriend before, I wanted sure if it was romantic or not so I wanted to check.

The date has gone by and, while I did have a lot of fun, I don't see that connection I was looking for. If this was just anyone, I would politely part ways. However, she is a part of my friend group so I would continue to see her quite often. I don't want things to be awkward and, while I would like to just forget about it, I am not sure if that is rude or not.

Please give me some advice here, thanks.
al
not a newbie
Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:17 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I make zines!
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Colorado

Re: What do I do?

Unread post by al »

Hi there jackojacko,

I really like the approach that you took - trying things out in a casual way to see how it felt. Did you get a sense that she was interested in you romantically beforehand?

So the dilemma here seems to be about how to communicate that you're not interested in pursuing something with your friend in a way that leaves things open for you two to remain in the same friend group. Has she said or done anything that suggests that she's interested in continuing things?
What do your instincts tell you that you might say to end things? Have you ever tried to communicate something like this or had this communicated to you?
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully
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