Over month ago I've accidently met someone genuinly nice on a shitty dating app. We had been texting a lot for a couple of weeks and met for the first time around 3 weeks ago. I didn't told my parents because I was ashamed and afraid they wouldn't allow meeting him out of stereotypical fear of Internet friends. (Even though they've met their online friends with only knowing their names and not even pictures)
Anyway, the guy and I got along very well (we chose a public place in my city and I told my friends in advance) and met once again at his place, without my parents knowing. He did not demand that, I think he thinks my parents know and if I told him I've done it secretly he would feel slightly uncomfortable and... idk, I don't want to lie to him aswell. It would be embarrassing, too. I wouldn't have visited him if I would have had a weird gut feeling about him, he is my age (20) and did not even say anything that could be a red flag. I've told my friends about it and my best friend even picked me up from his place and got to know him as well and had a good impression aswell. The problem is: he lives 2 hours away by train, one by car. I don't want to keep it a secret to my parents since it overcomplicates the situation a lot.
The guy and I are meeting again on the weekend in my city, and I don't know how or if I should tell my parents. If I tell them in advance they will get angry because I lied to them and the might not allow me to meet him since everyone from the Internet just wants to take me as a hostage as we know, but lying and telling them afterwards is quite shitty too since I might like to spend time with him at my house if the weather is too rainy. But spending time at my place is awkward as well because I think it's too early for meeting family members? And I've never had a guy at my place before. Additionally I'm having quite a strict curfew in winter despite me being 17 therefore I'm only allowed staying outside if my parents pick me up or someone drives me home. And I don't think they would like me to spend time in the early evening with some guy they don't know only because we meet online. They are having so much stereotypes and are pretty strict even tough I know they simply are afraid and want to protect me. Nevertheless, I believe they should let me decide whether I want to get to know somebody offline if I'm having a good gut feeling and know how to be safe. It is the first time ever I'm meeting someone who likes to whom I'm kinda attracted to. I don't know anything about dating, or how I should talk about it to my parents.
Additionally, I've had experience with online abuse and I don't know how to react if that comes up in an argument with my parents, especially as an accusation that I would fall for everybody. And if I'd told them about my experience they might use that as an argument to keep me from meeting the guy I like. There's no problem with him. He's just some nerd who likes the same stuff as me and happens to live a bit further away.
My questions: when should I approach my parents? Before the meeting or afterwards? And how should I prepare for it? Which compromises can I make? And are there valid arguments for taking my parent's fear? I want them to trust me, but I'm not having a good start with lying to them out of fear and shame.