Being Direct about Casual Sex

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Raymie
not a newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:23 pm
Age: 36
Awesomeness Quotient: Soft hearted Ocean child
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: Queery Queer
Location: England

Being Direct about Casual Sex

Unread post by Raymie »

Is it ok to ask someone you know if they're turned on over facebook messenger? This person flirted with me in real life, so I did that a few weeks later over fb messenger. Now I'm scared I harassed them.
~ Saffy
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Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9853
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Being Direct about Casual Sex

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Raymie,

Whether or not something like that is okay depends a lot on how that person feels about you (both in general and in the moment) and the context of the conversation. For instance, if the conversation was getting increasingly sexual, then a question like that isn't a huge reach. But if you asked it in the middle of a non-sexual conversation, or sent that as your first message, then there could easily be overstepping what's appropriate. Too, how the other person reacted is also important. Did they react positively, or did they pull back from the conversation?
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