She loves me, but I don't know if I love her(really complicated relationship)

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 35
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They
Location: Leeds UK

Re: She loves me, but I don't know if I love her(really complicated relationship)

Unread post by Jacob »

Hi daringdragon,

It sounds like you will still be 'coming out' in the sense of telling her something about your sexuality which is new information. But, I do think it's a good idea to talk about the specifics of what you want to happen for your relationship and how you are feeling about her specifically; I'd say that the other things, such as crushes on other people are secondary to what her concerns are likely to be about you and her.

But it's probably good that you are having that conversation at all, so perhaps just go with however feels best for you!
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
daringdragon
not a newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:07 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: demi-heterosexual
Location: America

Re: She loves me, but I don't know if I love her(really complicated relationship)

Unread post by daringdragon »

Thank you for all the advice. Unfortunately, it looks like I won't be able to talk to my girlfriend today, she's busy and won't be able to meet face-to-face for a private conversation.
Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 35
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They
Location: Leeds UK

Re: She loves me, but I don't know if I love her(really complicated relationship)

Unread post by Jacob »

The time will come!

Maybe this is a good opportunity write down what things you would like to get accross in this conversation, which can often be helpful.
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
daringdragon
not a newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:07 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: demi-heterosexual
Location: America

Re: She loves me, but I don't know if I love her(really complicated relationship)

Unread post by daringdragon »

I talked to her and we ended up breaking up. She was way too nice to me and I feel really bad but she just wants what's best for me. I think we are going to be staying friends though, so that's good.
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9784
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: She loves me, but I don't know if I love her(really complicated relationship)

Unread post by Sam W »

How are you feeling about the break-up? It's pretty common to feel at least a little bad if you're the one who does the breaking up (even when you know ending things is the right choice it can still feel like a bummer), but are you feeling any things in addition to that?

In terms of staying friends, are you planning to continue your friendship right away, or take a break from seeing each other at all for a bit?
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic