I'm in my 20s and just getting into my first romantic/sexual relationship, in part due to spending a lot of my teens dealing with social anxiety...and some depression, and probably a sprinkling of generalized anxiety, that whole super-fun group of experiences that often travel together. Over the last few years I've found treatment that's actually working and reached the point where on a day-to-day basis I feel pretty "normal," not limited by symptoms. And then developing any kind of openness to/interest in "meeting someone" was kind of a quantum leap forward. Anyway, I recently met this guy and feel like there are some promising things about him and the way I feel around him, but also things that make me nervous and I'm having trouble sorting them out. (And I am talking about this with my therapist but could use a different perspective):
The good is that on an immediate level, I feel safe and comfortable with him. I used to be someone who jumped a mile if someone touched me on the shoulder, and with him I feel more relaxed and grounded being near him or in physical contact. Sexually things have gone farther faster than I ever would have thought I'd be comfortable with but I actually am. He's been respectful, backs off when I ask him to (not just physically but also things like frequency of texts), doesn't amplify my insecurities or self-deprecating humor but reassures and tries to build me up.
But. Emotionally he seems to be moving faster than I am or am comfortable with - how soon he wanted to talk about an exclusive relationship (not that I'm actively interested in anyone else, but the principle of the thing), declaring me his "dream girl" without learning all that much about me, that sort of thing. And he's definitely not as nice to everyone as he (currently) is to me. Not routinely terrible to others, but I've seen this meanness or aggression come out toward people who get on his bad side. That's a trait I generally don't care for in people, so makes it hard to reciprocate the "you're my dream person" sort of sentiment. And it makes me nervous about what might change toward me once I fall off this pedestal I feel like I've been put on - especially if I end up wanting to end the relationship first. Is that a crazy thing to be worrying about when my usually very jumpy gut instincts are so calm about him right now?