A place for intimacy

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
shutapp
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:34 am
Age: 24
Primary language: Spanish
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: bi
Location: Argentina

A place for intimacy

Unread post by shutapp »

Okay, this is my first time posting here, and I feel quite nervous honestly xD But I really need some advice. My boyfriend and I are in some sort of "long" distance relationship (we met via internet, but we only live two hours away from each other). We usually see each other once a week if we can. Of course, meeting places are mostly public places, so the only way to get some intimacy is in the back of his car, and lately we've been discussing about intercourse but he knows I'm uncomfortable since the backseat of his car is not the more private place. I feel ready to become more intimate, and since he owns a car he wouldn't have any problems in coming to my house, but there are two issues there:

1. He'd have to meet my parents, and even if I'm comfortable with him doing so I'm a bit anxious because of my mother's judgamental point of view (she tends to criticize everything she sees). I don't want to know what she'd think if he and I were alone in my place.
2. Even if my parents and him met, I have a young brother, and even if he never leaves his room I don't want him to walk in my room when my boyfriend is there.

So, my question is, is there any option for us to be intimate with enough privacy?
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9784
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
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Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: A place for intimacy

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Shutapp,

There may be some options that let you two be together with enough privacy that you feel comfortable. Can you give me a sense of how much privacy you have in your house (does you door have a lock, do your parents have a habit of "surprising" you when you're alone or with someone, things like that)? And is his living space not an option?
shutapp
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:34 am
Age: 24
Primary language: Spanish
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: bi
Location: Argentina

Re: A place for intimacy

Unread post by shutapp »

Sam W wrote:Hi Shutapp,

There may be some options that let you two be together with enough privacy that you feel comfortable. Can you give me a sense of how much privacy you have in your house (does you door have a lock, do your parents have a habit of "surprising" you when you're alone or with someone, things like that)? And is his living space not an option?
Thanks for offering to help! My door doesn't have a lock, in fact, it is like a balcony since everything in there can be seen from the main lobby, so there's not a lot of privacy there. My mother has a regular working schedule, but I can't say the same about my father. The only rooms with a lock are my brother's and my parents' ones.
About his house, it's not like it's not an option, but it'd be a long trip and my mother does not particularly like the place he lives in neither. His parents are away most weekends, though.
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9784
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: A place for intimacy

Unread post by Sam W »

Got it. It sounds like you and he are going to need to weigh your options to figure out which risks you'd rather deal. Would you prefer to have your mom be annoyed with you going to see him over the possibility that you might be found out if you're sexual in your house? Or does holding off on sex a little bit longer feel preferable to both those options?
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