Do I Like This Girl as a Friend or More?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
jackojacko2000
not a newbie
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2015 10:01 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Location: Australia

Do I Like This Girl as a Friend or More?

Unread post by jackojacko2000 »

I've met this girl at a homeschool group (we both homeschool) and I think she's pretty cool. We're both interested in acting and other hobbies and she's a fun person to hang out with. Having never had a girlfriend before, I'd really like her to be my girlfriend because we have a lot of things in common and she is attractive. But I feel like, since I'm antisocial and don't meet girls a lot, I may be forcing myself to want to be more with her since she's the first girl I've connected with since puberty. I don't feel any other level of attraction beyond 'She is attractive, fun, funny and I would like to (ideally) have sex with her if she's into me too'; it doesn't feel very powerful. Am I confusing love with attraction? I'm just confused, I feel like you need to be totally in love with someone to want to be with them. I feel like I'm just forcing myself because I really want a girlfriend.

I don't know if I'm explaining myself clearly, oh well. :D

We're both 17 btw
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9784
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Do I Like This Girl as a Friend or More?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Jackojacko,

It definitely sounds like you're attracted to her, and there are plenty of people who feel that being physically and emotionally attracted to someone is a good reason to ask them out and see what happens. Most people, when they ask someone out or start dating them, are some level of attracted or interested in them but not completely in love with them because it takes being with someone for awhile to figure out whether you love them. Does that make sense?

You may also want to check out this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... vs_lusting
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