Friends with Benefits?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
frozen88
newbie
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Age: 25
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Location: Pennsylvania

Friends with Benefits?

Unread post by frozen88 »

So my friend with benefits and I hooked up for the first time yesterday but we barely did anything because we had to leave his house go to the mall to pick up his little brother and his friends, and we also ended up meeting our other friend there. I want to see if we can do something next week since the only time my fwb and I can really hang out is on Sundays since he has to work during the week, I can't take him over my place so really the only option is his place but I don't want to feel rude like I'm inviting myself over? And I'll wait and see if he says anything within a few days but I'm always the one who has to initiate (it was my idea to be fwb anyway) and it really shouldn't matter because we're technically still just friends but still I don't know what to do to get what I want and not seem desperate. Any thoughts?
Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
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Re: Friends with Benefits?

Unread post by Karyn »

Have you talked to him about any of this? Making sure everyone is on the same page and happy with a relationship - whether it's friends, friends with benefits, a romantic relationship, whatever - requires communication, so if you haven't brought any of this up with him, then that's the place to start. If you aren't sure how to get that conversation going, this piece might be useful: Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
curly
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Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: heterosexual
Location: USA

Re: Friends with Benefits?

Unread post by curly »

I agree with Karyn. You should definitely talk to him to make sure you are both on the same page.
For the inviting yourself over thing, just ask him if he wants to hang out and if he says yes just mention that you can't do you house and see if he offers his.
If it continues to be a problem, again, talk to him. Event though it may be scary, talking things out is essential in relationships, no matter what kind (family, friends, romantic, sexual). So that is definitely your best solution.
andreus19
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Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:17 am
Age: 26
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Location: NYC

Re: Friends with Benefits?

Unread post by andreus19 »

It looks that you are "in same boat" , I mean that you wish the same thing... :)
andreus19
not a newbie
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:17 am
Age: 26
Pronouns: he
Location: NYC

Re: Friends with Benefits?

Unread post by andreus19 »

frozen88 wrote:So my friend with benefits and I hooked up for the first time yesterday but we barely did anything because we had to leave his house go to the mall to pick up his little brother and his friends, and we also ended up meeting our other friend there. I want to see if we can do something next week since the only time my fwb and I can really hang out is on Sundays since he has to work during the week, I can't take him over my place so really the only option is his place but I don't want to feel rude like I'm inviting myself over? And I'll wait and see if he says anything within a few days but I'm always the one who has to initiate (it was my idea to be fwb anyway) and it really shouldn't matter because we're technically still just friends but still I don't know what to do to get what I want and not seem desperate. Any thoughts?
As I can see, you are maybe a bit fell in love in you FWB :)
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