The thing is, there’s no “right” pace for anything, for everyone. To find out what’s right in a relationship, we basically just have to be in communication with the other person, both asking questions and doing what we can to be observant of - and responsive to - non-verbal cues. There’s also no one way everyone does those kinds of cues, alas. We get to know that as we get to know someone, which is why communication with words is so important with new things.
I get that can feel super-daunting when a relationship is new AND you’re new to these kinds of relationships, to boot. I also get it’s easy to think that a) there’s no room for error with this and b) if we just pick the right pace for everything, a relationship will go well. But neither are true.
For now, especially while this is only one date new, why don’t you err on the side of slowness when you’re unsure, but otherwise just go with what feels right and just ask questions (like if you can put your arm around her) with things that are about you both?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead