I think there are ways you can let people know that you value direct, open communication, and that you have better friendships when it's present. It's not always easy to know exactly when to have conversations like this with friends - it might be a bit too in-depth the first time you hang out with someone - but certainly if you find yourself talking about conflict, communication, making friends, etc. it would be fine to say something about how you really appreciate people being upfront with you about any problems or conflicts they have.
In a roommate situation, it might be a little easier to bring up since it's pretty well-established that communication differences can be a big part of failed roommate relationships and a lot of people start off establishing some sort of "house rules" for cleaning, communication, financial responsibility, etc. When talking with your new roommate I think you can just ask if she wants to compare notes for how you each prefer to deal with these household issues, and see where your approaches overlap.
When talking with this roommate, for example, you could say something like "I appreciate people saying something directly to me if my behavior is upsetting them; I worry about not knowing there's a problem because someone's not ready or willing to talk to me about it. Does that mesh with your communication style?" and from there, see what her response is and how compatible it feels. I do think it's important to keep in mind that plenty of people really struggle to be direct when communicating about conflict or negative feelings of any kind, whether that's due to their own anxiety (or other mental health issues), a history of abuse, or some other factors.
The way your anxiety works is that you need people to be upfront with you, but someone else might be anxious in a way that means they really struggle with being that open about how they're feeling, especially if it's related to a problem or conflict. It doesn't mean either of you are wrong or that your needs are incorrect, but it might mean that you aren't super compatible as roommates or friends. That having been said, plenty of people with incompatible communication styles can make things work out if they talk about their own needs and limitations and come up with some compromises.
If you do come across as needy to someone when you've explained what sort of communication works best for you, or you find that they aren't really willing to be as open as you'd like, that might be a bummer but it can also serve as a helpful data point for you. I think that when you find yourself thinking "if I tell someone this thing about me, they might think I'm needy," it's good to keep in mind that the alternative is not sharing that information with them and having them know you less well as a result. You might not want to be this open with everyone but being open about your needs means that you're more likely to have friends who understand and are open to accommodating them.
You've mentioned having a therapist in previous posts, I wonder if this is something you'd be up for discussing with her? That could be a helpful space to come up with ways to bring this up with various people in your life.