Problems keeping erections

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
DArwin
not a newbie
Posts: 145
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:32 pm
Age: 22
Primary language: English
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Location: California

Problems keeping erections

Unread post by DArwin »

Hello!
I want to ask for any good tips to not lose an erection because of performance anxiety, and getting caught and just stress in general. Sorry to ask so many question. Thank you in advances for your responses Have a wonderful day :)
Siân
previous staff/volunteer
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Location: UK

Re: Problems keeping erections

Unread post by Siân »

Hey!

You've already pinpointed one of the big things that can prevent erections from staying around - stress. It sounds to me like focusing on the "do I have an erection or not" question is probably only going to make the answer to that question a "no" more often.

With a lot of things when it comes to sex, focusing on a goal - like erection, or orgasm, or delaying orgasm - only makes you less likely to reach that goal. But that's ok! Great sex isn't about goals anyway, it's about feeling good things with someone. It sounds like your worries about this are keeping you from enjoying your time with your partner, but really it's totally normal. How about you see if you can focus less on erection and more on all the sexual activities that you can do with or without an erection, and how that feels?

Heather wrote an advice column about this too, which you might like to read: No erection four times now: what can I do?. What do you think?
DArwin
not a newbie
Posts: 145
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:32 pm
Age: 22
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He
Sexual identity: Heterosexual
Location: California

Re: Problems keeping erections

Unread post by DArwin »

Hello!
Thank you I think that this will be very helpful if I have any more issues I will come back her after reading the column and will try to focus on enjoyment for me and my partner
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