first time mishaps

[yammy]

so i tried to have sex with my datemate the other night and things didn't really go according to plan. after messing around for a while we tried to have penetrative sex, but a series of problems occurred. they were worried about not being hard enough, then when we tried anyways it was hard to tell if their dick was actually inside me or not. then we realized the problem wasn't them, it was also me cause it didn't FIT. we didn't use lube like we probably should have because we thought i'd be wet enough... the whole ordeal was hilarious, though thoroughly embarrassing. still a great night overall. I want to try again soon but i'm worried about it going the same way. what can i do to actually do the sex next time?

[Siân]

hi yammy,

I'm glad that you two had a sense of humour in the sex you were having - sometimes things don't quite go to plan and that's ok!

If you want to include intercourse in the sex you're having, it's generally easiest and most fun when you're both really keyed up from other activities and feeling really relaxed too. Really spending time exploring what feels good and giving yourselves space to get really turned on is important. Lube is also pretty much always a great idea. Even then though, sometimes our bodies don't quite play ball and our time is better spent having whatever other kinds of sex feel good and right - or just having a laugh/chat/cuddle. What do you think?

You might also like to have a read of this one and see if any of it rings true: First Intercourse 101

[ripmelol]

i gave my boyfriend a hand job and it went pretty well but then after he was all weird and i’m not sure how he felt about it i think he was embarrassed but i’m not sure we usually bounce back from awkward things like this but i know it was consensual he led my hand there, asked me if i wanted to and i said yes i also asked if he wanted to and he said yes i’m not sure why he was embarrassed maybe because he actually came this time but i’m unsure help!!!..

[Sam W]

Hi ripmelol,

We're more than happy to talk to you about this situation, but I'm going to ask that you please start a new thread to ask this question.