hey, i'm 19 and i've been in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend for about 8 months. we've had sex lots of times, and we, uh, do some kind of "out there" things during it. mostly involving roleplay. shh.
anyway, the point is that some of the scenes we have can be kind of... intense. sometimes it even involves degradation, which we both consented to before we started doing that sort of thing. i know how dangerous this can be and i always try to make aftercare and safewords a priority when we do these scenes, especially since i'm almost always the one degrading him.
but... my boyfriend doesn't seem to actually want any of that. he usually ignores safewords and jumps right into scenes, gets annoyed when i break character to make sure he's okay, and often ignores or tells me not to bother when i provide aftercare and try to tell him that all those things i said weren't really how i feel about him. it's worrying, especially since i know he's had self-esteem issues in the past, and i know how things cant get in your head until you start to believe them.
so, my question is: should i push harder for us to do aftercare, or is it not my place since i'm the "dominant" in this situation? i want to respect his wishes but... i can't just not do aftercare and safewords and all that. it just doesn't feel right. what should i do?