Search found 23 matches

by suburban_witch
Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:38 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Talking about rape
Replies: 3
Views: 3457

Re: Talking about rape

Hi FanndisTS, I just wanted to chime in here. I think you are handling this in a really compassionate way, and that is something that unfortunately, survivors don't see a lot of, so it's really wonderful to see that. An important thing I'd like to say is that it doesn't have to be just one conversat...
by suburban_witch
Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:20 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Does pleasure feel like a free lunch?
Replies: 9
Views: 6863

Re: Does pleasure feel like a free lunch?

For me, I felt the "free lunch" dilemma big time, particularly when I was younger and I didn't have access to a regular source of income. I would get allowance, intermittently, from my father. It wasn't a regular thing, and I would save from my past city excursions. I internalized that mod...
by suburban_witch
Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:13 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: What's the big whoop about someone saying no to you?
Replies: 5
Views: 5576

Re: What's the big whoop about someone saying no to you?

I think a large part of it can be having no good models to accept critique and to be self-reflexive in our culture. So there can be something really threatening and scary about hearing a no, especially when it intersects with things like toxic masculinity (as we can see from the "nice guy"...
by suburban_witch
Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:03 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Double Standards Regarding Age Gaps
Replies: 8
Views: 5698

Re: Double Standards Regarding Age Gaps

I also think this double standard is heavily culturally influenced/reflected back to us. Seeing older men with younger women is really normalized in our culture. I saw a chart a while back on NY Mag about how when men start their film careers, their love-interests are the same age, but as they age, ...
by suburban_witch
Sun Mar 29, 2015 5:54 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt
Replies: 2
Views: 3532

Re: The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt

I really appreciate Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt as a survivor narrative. I also read a great article about it by Emily Nussbaum that kind of expands on that tack, that link's here:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/03/30/candy-girl
by suburban_witch
Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:02 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Abuse in the Rearview Mirror
Replies: 9
Views: 6983

Re: Abuse in the Rearview Mirror

Dear tos3, I'm really sorry to hear that you have to be in close proximity to your rapist, and that, on top of that, you have to be around a verbally abusive parent. It can be difficult to be in that environment and not internalize those messages. I've found personally that immersing yourself in oth...
by suburban_witch
Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:49 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: How do you comfort yourself?
Replies: 16
Views: 8174

Re: How do you comfort yourself?

Dear Brave1, Thanks so much for creating this thread! Since I spend a lot of time on the computer, I find that watching videos of cute cats really helps when I'm in a mood. I also really like Jeffrey Marsh's Vine account; he has a lot of wonderful positive affirmations that make me feel better about...
by suburban_witch
Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:42 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Identifying Patterns of Abuse
Replies: 2
Views: 3271

Re: Identifying Patterns of Abuse

Hi Brave1, I'm really happy you've been able to identify trends in your life and you're starting to be able to articulate what safety looks like for you. That's a super-important step towards recovery. I'm also glad you've been able to get some external support in the form of therapy. It's really im...
by suburban_witch
Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:38 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Think I Just Need Validation. (Version 2.0)
Replies: 4
Views: 4248

Re: Think I Just Need Validation. (Version 2.0)

I'd also like to stop in and say thanks for updating us on your situation. I'm glad things are looking up for you. Having an outside support group is really helpful towards having a direct lifeline towards the resources you need, and it's a brave action to seek that out. Another important thing I se...
by suburban_witch
Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:59 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Identifying Patterns of Abuse
Replies: 2
Views: 3271

Identifying Patterns of Abuse

For those of you that have experienced abuse in the past and are processing your experiences in those past relationships, what patterns have you noticed in those relationships that you now can identify as unsafe? This thread is intended to be a space where you can share your process about seeing tho...
by suburban_witch
Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:40 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friend-Dates!
Replies: 3
Views: 3114

Re: Friend-Dates!

I really love this thread, too! A lot of my friend-dates are centered around getting food, which is partly out of necessity since I buy most of my own meals and they're all based in the city. Less frequently, they'll be centered around making food, which I find is often wonderful and healing. The ma...
by suburban_witch
Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:15 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: When love doesn't happen in a straight line
Replies: 7
Views: 4986

Re: When love doesn't happen in a straight line

Oh, man, I really need to watch Adventure Time, just in general. So many amazing GIFs on Tumblr challenging linear relationship scripts. I'd like to speak more to how the lack of these scripts have the potential to create anxiety. I wonder if all this coverage about social media and kind of having t...
by suburban_witch
Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:04 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Abuse in the Rearview Mirror
Replies: 9
Views: 6983

Re: Abuse in the Rearview Mirror

I'm really happy to hear this too, Infinitea! I think when memories of the abuse take up less mental space, that's definitely a good sign.
by suburban_witch
Mon Nov 17, 2014 8:47 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Abuse in the Rearview Mirror
Replies: 9
Views: 6983

Re: Abuse in the Rearview Mirror

As someone who used to be on this specific forum asking for assistance, I'm really appreciating this as a space where people can come back and share their growth, since day-to-day it can be hard for us to see and observe for ourselves. I can personally say I feel like I've grown a lot. I'm doing cog...
by suburban_witch
Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:41 am
Forum: Scarleteen Updates
Topic: New Board Questions or Issues
Replies: 6
Views: 4344

Re: New Board Questions or Issues

I still don't have access to my PMs, either on the receiving or sending side! And I think I've hit the newbie post quota, so I don't think that's the issue.
by suburban_witch
Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:36 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Good Books for Self-Care
Replies: 5
Views: 5644

Re: Good Books for Self-Care

There are so many good books that I have either read, have had recommended to me, or are lying around my house waiting to be read! :D If anyone remembers me from the old boards, you probably know that I have been going through it these past couple of months. Thankfully (and in large part due to this...
by suburban_witch
Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:10 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Mindfulness Help?
Replies: 2
Views: 3229

Re: Mindfulness Help?

I would be very interested, both in creating time for a practice and what some things you do to help calm your mind are. I think it'd be an excellent resource for a lot of people on the boards!
by suburban_witch
Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:03 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Experiences with Menstrual Cups
Replies: 16
Views: 13999

Re: Experiences with Menstrual Cups

I've finally become comfortable using menstrual cups, but it took me a long time. I'd never put anything inside me before and I was really scared (I came from a sex-negative family, and despite my father being a doctor, they were both convinced that tampons were only for "loose women"). I ...
by suburban_witch
Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:53 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: How do you understand your own orientation?
Replies: 7
Views: 7450

Re: How do you understand your own orientation?

I think right now, I've just been focused on not assigning a label to myself and just focusing on having partners that respect me. Right now, the simplest way to condense my orientation is "everyone but cis men," just because that's felt the most unsafe for me after my assault (as well as ...
by suburban_witch
Thu Aug 07, 2014 12:40 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Breakups
Replies: 4
Views: 4476

Re: Breakups

I really appreciated reading the piece, Heather, even though there were some parts I wasn't ready to read or integrate into my life or practice yet. I think for me, it's still taking some time. The most important thing for me to remember during this time has been that healing isn't linear, and just ...
by suburban_witch
Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:13 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: I love my Breasts, how about you?
Replies: 4
Views: 6935

Re: I love my Breasts, how about you?

I actually like my breasts a lot. I used to worry about them a lot because my aureolas are quite big, and all the breasts I saw in movies, etc., were small and pink, but I feel more comfortable now because they're an average size and they don't hurt my back. They have small little stretch marks on t...
by suburban_witch
Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:10 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: How do YOU celebrate your period?
Replies: 2
Views: 3266

Re: How do YOU celebrate your period?

I usually will eat something nice, and I have been trying to exercise to ease my cramps! That's been helping a lot. I used to associate my period with hibernation and generally just being away from the world, but a nice part about getting older is having a lot more control over what menstrual produc...
by suburban_witch
Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:06 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: New user now, but an old-timer at our old boards?
Replies: 64
Views: 173547

Re: New user now, but an old-timer at our old boards?

I was thisisnotascreenname39 (and my display name was: The Definitive Po-Mo Username!).

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