Search found 14 matches

by mothman
Fri Jul 19, 2019 7:04 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?
Replies: 12
Views: 6036

Re: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?

Yeah, that's true. I'm going to try to move forward by setting boundaries with J in hanging out with our mutual friend where it's just me and the mutual friend. So, more baby steps! Of note, I do have kind of a crush on this mutual friend but I discussed it with my therapist and rather than broachin...
by mothman
Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:22 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?
Replies: 12
Views: 6036

Re: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?

So, the discussion we ended up having went well in that I was able to talk about how I felt and I think there is a plan moving forward. My therapist was a big help in coaching me to focus on J's specific behaviors and what needs to change. There's only so much I can do on my end, but part of what I ...
by mothman
Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:33 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?
Replies: 12
Views: 6036

Re: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?

I'm very lucky to have a therapist. My game plan for now is to sit on it until the appointment on Friday and make a plan with her about what to do. The intensity around this has died down a little bit thanks to having an anxiety attack and draining all those heightened garbage feelings out. I hope t...
by mothman
Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:10 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?
Replies: 12
Views: 6036

Re: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?

Thank you Stephanie and Heather. I feel like when I do bring up my feelings, theirs always supersedes whatever it is I have. I remember J being very angry that I was going to cancel something because I was busy (I was student teaching at the time) and when I expressed my feelings I had to just leave...
by mothman
Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:44 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?
Replies: 12
Views: 6036

Re: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?

Sam, first of all, thank you for your quick reply and thoughtful response. I really appreciate it. There are parts of the relationship that I value and enjoy, which is another reason why I don't want to lose it. They can be kind and hilarious and silly and supportive. But they can also be needlessly...
by mothman
Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:09 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?
Replies: 12
Views: 6036

Is it bad to want to stay and to detox a toxic friendship?

So, I'm not sure if this is really an abusive relationship by any means, but it sure feels toxic. I've been best friends with J for six years. We've lived together for most of that time, and still do. J grew up in an extremely abusive household and suffers a lot of trauma to this day. Unfortunately,...
by mothman
Tue Oct 02, 2018 5:26 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Disinterest or Awkwardness?
Replies: 8
Views: 4386

Re: Disinterest or Awkwardness?

First of all I really appreciate your help in this. Though my knee jerk instinct to descend into self loathing has mostly gone away I’m left feeling exhausted and vulnerable. Between this incident, current events, and already having some physical and mental health issues getting me behind in school,...
by mothman
Mon Oct 01, 2018 6:28 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Disinterest or Awkwardness?
Replies: 8
Views: 4386

Re: Disinterest or Awkwardness?

And oh boy here comes the self loathing waterfall. I mean, I’m 27 and I’ve been with one person, six years ago. I feel like a defect. Will I ever get over this shame? WHO KNOWS?
by mothman
Mon Oct 01, 2018 6:18 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Disinterest or Awkwardness?
Replies: 8
Views: 4386

Re: Disinterest or Awkwardness?

HEY WHAT'S UP,

turns out he's:

1. moving out of state
2. TO BE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, WHO HAD PREVIOUSLY NEVER MENTIONED.

I'm devastated, haha. Wow.
by mothman
Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:39 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Disinterest or Awkwardness?
Replies: 8
Views: 4386

Re: Disinterest or Awkwardness?

Honestly, as someone who initiates and plans by nature, in my life I have found that way more people seem to struggle with that than not, and a LOT of people's response to someone who initiates and organizes is to let us do it. I've had to ask more than a few times to get a balance, and I have foun...
by mothman
Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:20 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Disinterest or Awkwardness?
Replies: 8
Views: 4386

Disinterest or Awkwardness?

So I've been hanging out with a coworker outside of work. I like him a lot, which as a biromantic demisexual person does not happen often and has been really nice. However, the few times we've hung out I have had to instigate and do the planning. When we text, he always replies and sometimes we have...
by mothman
Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:21 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: LGBT books/movies that don't end in tragedy
Replies: 25
Views: 29336

Re: LGBT books/movies that don't end in tragedy

The graphic novel The Prince and the Dressmaker has some struggle with queerness but ends well and is so, so sweet.
by mothman
Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:04 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Bi Lady's First Relationship with a Guy
Replies: 3
Views: 3457

Re: Bi Lady's First Relationship with a Guy

Hey, I just first wanted to say thank you for this response. It's something I've been returning to over the past couple of months when I have doubts and insecurities. We're taking things slow, like, REALLY slow, which I think is good for both of us but also creates this uncertain, confusing space wh...
by mothman
Sat Feb 10, 2018 8:44 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Bi Lady's First Relationship with a Guy
Replies: 3
Views: 3457

Bi Lady's First Relationship with a Guy

Hi! So I am a bisexual woman who has only previously had sex with a girl. And that was about five years ago. I'm twenty-six now and previously had struggles trying to date, but things kept getting in the way; depression killing my libido, leftover trauma from that previous relationship dissolving pr...