Search found 5758 matches

by Heather
Thu Mar 21, 2019 5:32 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: am I too weird?
Replies: 1
Views: 18

Re: am I too weird?

Hey there. I suspect a language barrier may be making some things sound a bit different than you mean here, but we can only really work with what a user writes. So, in the event I have misunderstood anything, please feel free to clarify for me, and my apologies. I'm going to be pretty straightforwar...
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:32 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can’t masturbate and I’ve tried everything!
Replies: 2
Views: 24

Re: I can’t masturbate and I’ve tried everything!

Welcome to the boards, zucker. Sorry this has been so frustrating for you. The first thing I'd do in your situation, if possible, is to see a healthcare provider. I say that because sometimes any of this kind of activity feeling painful or uncomfortable, physically, can be because someone has an inf...
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 8:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Never clean under for skin and I'm 22
Replies: 3
Views: 40

Re: Never clean under for skin and I'm 22

You're welcome. In the meantime, something you can do that won't risk injury is just to soak your penis when you're in a hot bath, if that's something you have access to. Even if you're not massaging it yet when you do that -- which is something a healthcare provider may suggest if it looks okay for...
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:22 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Lack of comfort
Replies: 1
Views: 33

Re: Lack of comfort

Hey again, Lostand_found:

Is what you're bringing up here about how things are at home for you again, or are you talking about something bigger than that? Either way, can you say some more about all of this so I have a little more information to work with?
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 6:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Never clean under for skin and I'm 22
Replies: 3
Views: 40

Re: Never clean under for skin and I'm 22

I would go ahead and make an appointment -- and not in May, soon -- since you are having pain. Since you haven't ever really cleaned it properly -- and I'm so sorry no one told you how growing up, it really sucks when anyone doesn't get basic information about how to take care of their bodies that t...
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 6:50 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I tried almost everything but I still have pain during sex
Replies: 6
Views: 576

Re: I tried almost everything but I still have pain during sex

You're welcome. Can I help you with anything else?
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 6:49 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: virginity
Replies: 1
Views: 35

Re: virginity

I'm sure everything will be okay. Can you give me a sense of how much bleeding we're talking about -- are you using pads for it: if so, how often are you filling one, if you are? Too, in both these cases (with the sex with a partner and the masturbation) were you using lubricant? I would like to mak...
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 6:46 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sex addiction
Replies: 3
Views: 59

Re: Sex addiction

Like many sex educators, and people working in other parts of sexology, we don't actually support the concept of sex as addiction. We view addiction as a framework that's about external substances, which sex obviously isn't. However, we *do* know that some people struggle with compulsivity around se...
by Heather
Wed Mar 20, 2019 6:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'm terrible
Replies: 1
Views: 25

Re: I'm terrible

I'm glad that you asked someone about this. Hormones don't actually make us do things, so they're not the likely culprit here. We can talk to try and figure out what was, so that you can make a different choice next time, but it sounds like you first want to figure out how to rectify this current si...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 11:14 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: Change for brand-new users
Replies: 0
Views: 44

Change for brand-new users

In order to better protect all of us from spammer and trolls, posts from newly registered users will now go into a moderation queue. That means: when you make a post, you won't see it live right away. It will go to a list that staff will moderate, only okaying after we can look at it and see that it...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 10:13 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Started bleeding 3 days after losing virginity, is that normal?
Replies: 5
Views: 122

Re: Started bleeding 3 days after losing virginity, is that normal?

It sounds to me like this is probably not something that happened because of the intercourse. Since you already have painful periods and heavy flow, I think it's much more likely you've had something already going on reproductively that's just doing something new now (mid-cycle bleeding). By all mea...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 8:09 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I tried almost everything but I still have pain during sex
Replies: 6
Views: 576

Re: I tried almost everything but I still have pain during sex

I'm actually considering applying anasthetic substance (used in preamature ejaculation prevention condoms) or like get drunk and have sex. I just noticed no one addressed this, so I wanted to make sure someone did. These are both just totally bad ideas. Getting drunk with sex not only impacts your ...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:59 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Emotional Abusive Relationship
Replies: 30
Views: 1541

Re: Emotional Abusive Relationship

I wonder if you can think of this in-between time as the social/emotional version of a big deep breath and a big long exhale. I know that sounds a little cheesy, but bear with me here: know how when we do that with breathing, when we really take the time to stretch out that inhale and exhale, and re...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:37 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 31
Views: 470

Re: ?

Okay, so in all the posts you made while I was away, you have mentioned a lot of different things that are just not okay: • your boyfriend threatening to kill himself to try and emotionally manipulate you (to "see if you cared") • your boyfriend having a very hard time with his feelings an...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:26 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Started bleeding 3 days after losing virginity, is that normal?
Replies: 5
Views: 122

Re: Started bleeding 3 days after losing virginity, is that normal?

lovingluna: I agree with Al that due to the amount of bleeding -- is it still that much this morning? -- you should see a healthcare provider ASAP: today, now, if possible. Bleeding *through* a pad every two hours is a lot of bleeding, particularly if your flow isn't that heavy with periods. This al...
by Heather
Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:17 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: managing concerns about pregnancy
Replies: 8
Views: 199

Re: managing concerns about pregnancy

Hey there, John. I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone like that: that's something you'll need a mental healthcare professional to help you with. In the event that kind of healthcare isn't within your reach or abilities, I'd say that if you start doing some things known to help with anxiety, and they...
by Heather
Sun Mar 17, 2019 2:51 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 31
Views: 470

Re: ?

unicyu: I'm sorry that no one has been able to answer your posts today or yesterday, but I am afraid it appears we have been very short-staffed this weekend. Can you hold off on making any more until someone answers you? It's just going to be very hard for anyone to catch up once we do have staff (I...
by Heather
Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:17 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 31
Views: 470

Re: ?

I meant no, unless you're both doping some of the things I mentioned, the dynamics of your relationship probably aren't going to be able to change much, especially long-term. It certainly sounds like some of the things you are doing could be good things, though, that maybe help with this. The big th...
by Heather
Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: managing concerns about pregnancy
Replies: 8
Views: 199

Re: managing concerns about pregnancy

You got it! For one, I'd say that if you literally cannot stop yourself from asking stuff like that again and again -- like, you try not to do it, but it just comes out no matter how hard you try? -- your best bet is probably to step away from sex with a partner for right now, and find yourself a go...
by Heather
Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:37 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 13
Views: 780

Re: Masturbation

You're welcome. feel free to give a shout anytime if you want to keep talking about this, including about anything you read from that list. <3
by Heather
Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:34 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 31
Views: 470

Re: ?

Adding to what Jacob has said: That all really depends on what you mean when you say "working on it." In other words, that depends on what you both are actually doing, and THAT both of you -- not one, both -- are really doing productive, effective work on both your issues together and sepa...
by Heather
Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:50 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Is this rape? What should I do?
Replies: 9
Views: 228

Re: Is this rape? What should I do?

Hey there, khvioet: I'm not Sam (obviously), and I don't know if you'd rather continue your larger conversation with her, or if you're okay talking to me or others as well. Let us know, and we'll do this in whatever way you prefer. But I did at least want to say that in reading your response here, I...
by Heather
Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:36 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 31
Views: 470

Re: ?

I understand, and I appreciate your honesty. It's hard and scary to say things we've done that we know aren't great out loud. For sure, if we get on someone without their permission, and/or we won't get off when they ask, then yes, it would be US engaging in boundary violations. And yes, those thing...
by Heather
Wed Mar 13, 2019 12:58 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How do I get rid of sex shame?
Replies: 7
Views: 268

Re: How do I get rid of sex shame?

I feel certain that you, and this, are not a lost cause. Truly. I also want to say, again, that I think one big thing that would really benefit you is figuring out how to cultivate more patience with this, and with yourself. Any and all of this is going to take time and work: that isn't fair, becaus...
by Heather
Wed Mar 13, 2019 8:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How to masturbate without parents knowing?
Replies: 3
Views: 109

Re: How to masturbate without parents knowing?

We understand, and I'm sorry this is so challenging for you! You know, once upon a time I had a friend who shared a flat with someone else WHILE still living with their family at home (similar to you, mostly cultural reasons), so that they had a place where they could bring dates when they dated and...

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