Did I ever mention, Heather, that one of his ways of dealing with the fleas in his house — since an effective way to kill them is to drown them — was to eat them. Eat fleas. He eats fleas. He eats fleas. Let that sink in for a little while. I dated a guy who put fleas in his mouth. I dated Renfield....

I LOVE my DivaCup. I very occasionally have problems getting the seal right and have leakage, and I can't really use it when my interstitial cystitis plays up, but otherwise it's been a goddessend (lol). I've had mine since 2009 and it's getting a bit worn/discoloured, so I'm thinking soon I might t...

Thanks so much for your thoughts and time the other day. It was good having my live-in boyfriend read over this, and talking to my ldr boyf too, and having them affirm what you had to say. For my live-in, with whom my relationship with this ex ran concurrently for several years, this all struck some...

Thank you. (I'm sure I could rant all day... But somehow it's 4.30am where I am!) I think it is/will be easier for me to let go of some of the anger if I can acknowledge to myself that it was a system he structured to keep me there and to keep an unhealthy relationship rolling, regardless of whether...

Indeed. Just like my understanding of sexual assault, really; took a long time to accept that mine counted and that I had, in that case, been victimised. And it's always, always the attacker or abuser's choices, and never the survivor's fault. Looks like I'll have some work to do. I think this has b...

Ah, man. Yep. Lots to think over and reassess and take with me to my next psych appt. I think I had trouble categorising it as abuse since he never, you know, called me names or yelled at me or hit me or anything. I've spent a lot of the last few days googling, and have found a few other resources t...

That's really helpful, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to talk it over with me. (I know how busy you guys are!) I can talk to my psychologist further, too, about how to forgive myself. Re: the final paragraph, would you say the relationship was abusive, based on what we've talked about h...

First up, I should revise my language -- 'dumb' is an ableist term I'm trying to drop. Sorry! That's a good idea -- writing a letter as him to myself. I'm certainly open to trying that. I'm down for solo roleplaying, haha. Well, I could write him an actual letter, but he has an actual phobia about o...

How have you have all answered that question in the past? How did you reach that answer? Has any part of this process been particularly difficult? I've been through a few different labels. I identified as bisexual as a teenager, but was labelled as "slutty" or "predatory" by pee...

Okay. Let's imagine you get your ideal per what you think would help you come to peace with all this and really feel very resolved: what do you think you would need for that to happen? Again, let's not worry about realities right this second: let's start with open ideal scenarios. Sure. :) My ideal...

OPTIONAL RANTY RANT POST (Please don't feel obligated to read this; it's just some specific events that I keep coming back to in my head!) For years and years, I've had severe problems with period pain and interstitial cystitis. These problems both mysteriously vanished (or, in reality, became abou...

I guess it's a cycle. There's a bit of release in writing it all out, and there's definitely release in crying, but it's not sustained release. Well, I guess I've been ruminating on all these things since the break-up last April. But I had a fun new relationship (with lots of new relationship energy...

Heather! My internet hero.

It makes me full of righteous fire-y rage and then usually wind up sobbing. But, given that I've been doing these things a lot (raging, ranting, crying), I'm wondering when it will get better.

Hi all, I'm here again for some rad, objective Scarleteen advice! I posted on the old boards ( http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/3/t/012109.html ) nearly a year ago seeking help with a difficult relationship. I left him, after about seven years of on-off-ness, in April ...

I like the new boards so far! Easy to navigate.

Only just found this! Ah, well. I was Shelmerdine before.

I've never seen symmetrical labia, except in photoshop. We usually have one foot and (for those with breasts) one breast (etc.) slightly different to the other, too, so it makes sense.

I clean my fish tank! I also find the interactiveness of video games really distracting.

I'm with Keda. It shouldn't hurt! I found starting out with butt plugs pretty fun. And choose the right lube!

As far as one-time-use toys, those throwaway vibrating cockrings that come in some boxes of condoms can be fun. Still, better to invest in toys that'll be hardy and safe in the long term once you know what you guys like.