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Sexuality Advice

He Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore: How Can I Change His Mind?

cupcakewars77 asks:

My boyfriend for about two years now told me he doesn't feel like having sex. I told him I still do. He says all we ever do is have sex. That's not true. It's frustrating but I want sex and he doesn't. He is going to college this year and I won't see him as much because he will be so far way. Whenever we are to "fool around" he gets all serous and say I don't feel like having sex or no it doesn't feel right even though I am on the pill and we always use perfection. Always. Am I doing something wrong? Is there a way to even get him to have sex with me? I am confused and stressed out. It's been months and I feel like he is pulling away. Help!

How do I keep him from going in the wrong hole?

totallyconfused19 asks:

I am 23, so this will probably sound silly and foolish but I don't have anyone else to ask these things so here goes: First off, how do you know it's in the right hole? My boyfriend and I were getting involved last night for the first time, and at first it hurt horribly like I was being ripped apart.

He re-adjusted and it still hurt a little but nothing like before, it was mostly just a lot of pressure. Was he in the wrong hole before? How do I keep that from happening? Also his penis is BIG and my vagina is not. How far in should he go? Can he cause damage by going too far? Thanks for the advice.

Labia, Singular: Is This Normal?

jwondering asks:

I only have one labia minora. One is not smaller than the other, I only have ONE. It doesn't hurt, but I'm scared guys will be turned off by it. Is it normal?

His Religious Beliefs Are No Condoms, But I Need Them. What Do I Do?

sapphire12758 asks:

The guy I'm sleeping with really wants to have PIV sex with me, but he won't wear a condom because he's Roman Catholic. Everything else we've done has been amazing and I really want to do it, but I'm terrified of getting pregnant and I've already had a scare that I haven't told him about. I'm on the pill now, but I know that it isn't 100% effective. Would it be really wrong to try and get him to change his mind about condoms? I'm religious too and I'd hate to make him do anything that would go against his faith, but the idea of getting pregnant scares me so much that I have nightmares about it, and since we're not really together I don't know what he'd do.

It Was Fun, and I Want to Tell My Friends, But....

Secret_girl asks:

I was with this guy down at the beach late in the night and we started to hook up. It got a bit heated and asked me if I wanted to try something new. I said yes (I consented). He started to eat me out following with me giving him oral.

I'm scared that if I tell any of my friends I'll get judged. Girls are like that these days :( It's not like I regret it or anything. To be honest, I enjoyed it. I'm just afraid because there is so many labels being thrown around.

An Infection Getting Worse and Worse: Can I Just Wait it Out?

Meghan_Hoover asks:

I am 15 and I just had sex for the first time last Friday. It was unprotected but he did not cum. The next morning I had pain. The pain continued through Saturday and Sunday. I thought the pain was from having sex for the first time, but it's now Monday and I realized stinging while I pee, cloudy with some blood in it too, in addition to constantly having to pee and never feeling empty. I have had chills, too. I am almost 100% positive I have a UTI, but there is no way I'm telling my mom and getting medical attention for it, she can't know I had sex. I've read into it in depth, and the more I read the more scared I get. I'm on a vitamin regimen and I am able to get a z-pack, which treats bacterial infections but I'm unsure if it'll help me. Will it? are there anything I can do besides drink water and wait it out? How long will it last untreated? HELP!

I cannot insert anything into my vagina. What should I do?

amenie358 asks:

I am 20 years old and I cannot insert anything into my vagina, not even a tampon. After a month of practice, I have managed to be able to insert a finger about halfway into my vaginal canal. After that I freak out because it's uncomfortable and I pull out very quickly, which hurts a bit.

I know I'm not the only one with this problem because one of my close friends has it too, but I haven't figured out what to do about it. I would really like to be able to have vaginal sex sometime in the future, if not exactly now, or at the very least be able to use tampons! I haven't figured out anything that works.

Did abortion make me unable to orgasm?

poonamdeshmukh asks:

I had to go through an abortion at the age of 18 of a 20 week fetus. I had experienced orgasm just once in my life before the abortion. I have not experienced orgasm after my abortion through any sexual activity or masturbation. Have the abortion made me unorgasmic? I am getting married soon and I'm worried whether I'd be able to satisfy my partner, since I m doubtful whether my partner would have the same experience he used to have before abortion and whether I'd ever reach climax. Kindly help.

We Really Liked Anal Sex, But Should We Do It Again?

likeboom asks:

My boyfriend and I, both 18, are very comfortable with each other. We took things slow, somewhat due to my discomfort in the religious section and partly to make it more genuine. Skip forward a bit and we are delving into the world of sexual activity. I want to steer clear of PIV sex for pregnancy reasons and virginity reasons. But the other day we were exploring each others' bodies and before we knew it we were having anal sex. Thankfully my boyfriend used much lotion in the absence of lube and took it very slow. We both enjoyed it and were even able to switch positions once or twice with little to no difficulty. My question for the staff of Scarleteen is simply this, is there something I'm missing? From word of mouth anal is supposedly unpleasant, unsafe, and should be avoided; but my boyfriend and I really enjoyed ourselves. We want take a day and just explore the possibilities but is there such thing as too much or things that I should be wary about before we even consider more anal sex? Thanks.

My girlfriend says she loves me, but doesn't want to be sexual with me now that I'm transitioning.

praying-for-a-miracle asks:

I'm transgender. My girlfriend has supported me from the time we got together, celebrating my "transliness", even finding tips to help me transition easier. When I got my packer, she laughed at it and asked me to take it off. I felt humiliated, but did so. Ever since then, she begs me to take it off if we start to become intimate. (The term there is "if"; our intimacy has been on a steady decline ever since then.) Now that I'm on testosterone, she's shying away even more. It seems that being able to afford a decent quality binder has really halted anything. She's even refusing to kiss me more than once or lay against me. A few nights ago she said that something was bothering her and to not get offended. She admitted that she is a lesbian, and only got with me originally because I was female bodied. She says that she's fallen completely in love with me, but is no longer sexually attracted to me unless I take my packer and/or binder off. She coaxes the binder off by offering a back massage. (Seeing as I have pulled every muscle in my back and slipped 2 discs, I can't refuse.) I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm humiliated. She says that she will always love me, but is sexually frustrated. She doesn't want to leave me because she loves me, but would rather have sex with a girl. Any advice or..?

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