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Sexuality Advice

As a sexual abuse survivor, can I only connect to people sexually?

LOVE22 asks:

I was sexually abused, so I was wondering will I only want to find someone who I'm going to stay with for sex?

How can I stick to the promise I've made to myself to wait?

IthilienDude asks:

I'm a Christian, and I have decided to save myself till marriage. I'm perfectly fine with that. My boyfriend is fine with that too (we've been together a month), and respects my decision. However, like any celibate person would admit, sometimes I get these truly surreal urges for sex: I catch myself thinking that maybe even a little bit of touching while kissing would be fine, or I just think about what it would be like if we ever got married and ended up sleeping together. I have said nothing to my boyfriend, in case he misconstrues it as an invitation, but it has recently been very, very difficult to resist, especially with all these hormones making me want sex. I want to stay true to my decision to stay premaritally celibate, and I will pride myself on not being tempted, however my urges make the battle all the harder sometimes. Any suggestions?

The Ultimate Sex How-To Guide! (doesn't exist)

wildrose asks:

Hi: during foreplay, how long should you give a blowjob for? Is it right that my boyfriend shouldn't cum from me giving him oral sex before we have sexual intercourse?

Untangling a Gender, Attraction and Relationships Tangle

Unidentified_72 asks:

Can you be attracted to one gender sexually and the other mentally? How can that work with having a relationship?

He's Giving Me 8 Weeks to be Ready for Intercourse... Help!

confused@19 asks:

I've been seeing this guy from school for a couple months: three to be exact. From the moment we've met he's been interested in having sex, especially after he found out that I am a virgin and now he wants to be my first. He's pressuring me for pictures and oral sex, which we did but now he's pressuring me more for full on sex. We're not dating or in a relationship, all he says is that we're connected, which I don't understand. A couple days ago he said that he would give me 8 weeks to decide if I am gonna have sex, which will be in March.

He's the first guy to give me any sort of sexual attention, any attention more like it, I've always felt unsure of myself because I'm not a size six. I want to have sex, but with him I feel as if giving into finally have sex will just end up becoming sex and then the door. I don't want my first time to be a one night stand affair, he's assured me that it wouldn't be that way, but he's a guy looking for some. I'm real confused about what I should do with him. I want more than just sex, but I feel as if I wait it out long enough a relationship will grow. Please give me some help.

He wants to take his anger out on my body: that's not okay, right?

bludragonfly7 asks:

My ex-boyfriend and I are working through a very hard situation where in his perspective I cheated on him so I'm trying to fix things and gain his trust again. There has been a lot of pain and distrust between us lately but we are finally getting to a healthier, better place. However, he said something that really disturbed me the other day and I need someone else's perspective. He said he wanted to take his frustration and anger out on me sexually. I was appalled because sex is making love and that's the way I like it. When I protested and told him how absurd I thought it was he made me feel ridiculous and went on about how it was a creative solution and that I have to let him get through this his way by doing this to me. Is this a muffed up situation or am I overreacting?

How can I keep from getting upset when he ignores my no?

Elizabeth1 asks:

I'm 15 and my bf told me about a week ago that he thought I should be loosing my virginity and a few days ago I did. I was ok with this and only said once that if it was ok with him I'd like to stop (the way he was looking at me was creeping me out), but it wasn't ok with him so he kept going. Afterwards I really creeped out and for some reason I started crying all over the place, which I can't explain. He doesn't get this either and got really upset about it. I wanna make things back up with him so I've said that we can try again and that I wont react so badly. Is there anyway I can calm down enough so that I don't upset him again by freakin out? Hope you can help xxx

Three on virginity, ideals and regrets

reynolds1990 asks:

I know that it takes a woman up to 7 years, after having intercourse to become a virgin again. Is that true? Is it also the same for a girl between the ages of 12 and 15? If they are both true, could you please explain to me how that happens? If you could get back to me as soon as possible that would be fully appreciated.

How to get birth control privately when you're a teen & keep condoms from breaking

kassidur asks:

Me and my boyfriend want to get me birth control pills, as we've had the condom break three times on us already, and we're really fearful of pregnancy. I've already seen on this site a question on how to get birth control, but I have more questions than were answered. I'm 16, as is my boyfriend. Neither of us are able to drive yet because we didn't get our permits at the correct time (though we can take a cab to get somewhere), my mom would be highly unsupportive of the fact me and him are having sex (and even more unsupportive of me being pregnant), but we don't want to stop or anything, we just want more ways to protect ourselves against pregnancy. So, I need a way to get birth control without my mom's know. In the question I've read, you guys said that the doctor would ask for my name, address, phone number, and social security number. By giving them any of these things, would my mom be able to know I had seen the doctor? One of my main fears of getting birth control is my mom finding out somehow. Also, I don’t know where my mom keeps my social security card, and I haven’t memorized the number, so how can I find it out? Can I not have to tell the doctor?

Feeling pain or feeling nothing at all = my experience of sex.

yougivemefever asks:

I seem to not be able to feel any sort of pleasure from anything sexual. I'm 17 and have never been able to achieve an orgasm. It hurts being fingered. I've never been able to masturbate, because I could not keep focus or it started hurting. It also feels too awkward. When my boyfriend tried doing it, it hurt. He tried giving me oral sex, but that was painful. I tell him it hurts, and he tries to go as gently as he can, but it still hurts. I'm frustrated because I get no satisfaction, and my boyfriend's self esteem is damaged because he thinks it's his fault. We lost our virginities to each other a couple of months ago. It hurt a lot the first two times. After it stopped hurting, it just felt like nothing. I didn't have the heart to tell my boyfriend until recently that I don't feel anything. Now he's really upset because he feels like a pig and that he used me. He says I subconsciously don't love him, and that's why I don't feel anything.

It seems like I'm the only one with the problem of not being able to feel anything during sex AND clitoral stimulation hurts.

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