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It may seem silly to address a topic that many of us had explained when we were very young. Unfortunately, very few of us have had it explained well, leaving a good many with no idea what the birds and the bees really mean to our everyday sexual lives.
Every day someone at Scarleteen asks if this, that or the other thing is a pregnancy risk, or how they can tell if they are pregnant, or how they can even get pregnant in the first place. It isn't stupid or immature not to know the answers to these questions. It is only foolish not to ask them when we don't know the answers, or to assume we'll just be "lucky," and so never try to learn.
At least 40% of all women get pregnant before they turn 20 years old, and approximately 70% of those pregnancies are accidental. Clearly, it is something to be concerned with, something most people DON'T understand, and something most people aren't so lucky with after all.
You probably already know that for a woman to get pregnant, sperm has to reach an egg and fertilize it. You may also know that happens almost exclusively through male-female vaginal intercourse. Those are basics that are great when you're six, but are a bit too ambiguous when you're actually capable of becoming pregnant or taking part in creating a pregnancy. So, let's take a new look at the whole thing, from a realistic standpoint.
The script for human reproduction involves two main characters: sperm and ovum, but also a good supporting cast of male and female body fluids, our reproductive organs and some other cameo roles.
Let's start with one common misunderstanding. Semen and sperm are not the same thing, though many people often think so, and refer to them as the same. Semen is, in fact, a combination of fluids -- called seminal plasma -- from the prostate gland, cowpers gland and the seminal vesicle, and sperm. Semen contains sperm, but it is not sperm. Less than 5% of semen is sperm.
Semen and vaginal fluids -- cervical mucus -- are the strong supporting cast to our leading man and lady: without them, the sperm and ovum couldn't accomplish much.
The Guy Stuff: A man produces millions of sperm each and every day, and they are microscopically small. Just one drop of semen has more than one hundred million sperm in it. No kidding. When a man ejaculates (or "cums," meaning when he expels semen from his body), that ejaculate normally has between 200 and 600 million sperm in it. Because the sperm are so sensitive to the environment outside the testes (or "balls"), only about 50 of those sperm will be able to reach the female egg, and that is why the body produces so many, because most of them die en route. But while only one sperm actually fertilize the egg (save in a rare type of twin),a couple hundred "helper" sperm help to get that one in. In addition, sperm can not only come from ejaculate, but can sometimes be within pre-ejaculate, the fluid that comes from a man's penis not during orgasm, but when he is aroused. Semen, the fluid which sperm is within in an ejaculation, help move the sperm and also help keep them in the right environment to remain viable.
The Girl Stuff: In most women of reproductive age -- which is, on average, from puberty until a woman is around 50 -- one mature ovum (or egg), is released each month from the ovaries into one of the fallopian tubes. Usually, only one tube at a time has a fertile egg in it, though that is not always the case, as some women may release more than one ovum each month. After sperm pass through the vaginal canal and the cervix, some of them will go to one fallopian tube, and some the other, seeking out that egg. A woman's cervical mucus and vaginal fluids contribute to this: without the right consistency of those fluids, sperm can't swim upstream very well.
Those that went to the tube with a live egg surround it and try to enter the sac. Sperm can live in the vagina for several days, so given the timing, that may or may not happen on the same day sperm came to the door.
If the ovum is healthy and viable, sperm will penetrate it and fertilize the egg. The ovum only allow one sperm to fertilize the egg, and if that happens, no other sperm are allowed in. It's a bit like calling into a radio station for a contest: once the 50th caller gets on the line, they stop answering the phone.
About a day after that happens -- and the egg, fertilized, becomes a zygote -- the egg starts to divide into many cells, staying in the fallopian tubes busy with that for a few days. It then starts moving towards the uterus, dividing more all the while, with the intent of attaching to the endometrium. Before it does that, it changes some more, becoming a hollow ball of cells called a blastocyst, and that is what may -- or may not -- implant in the uterine wall and then become an embryo and a bonafide pregnancy. So, when pregnancy happens, from the moment that ejaculate enters the vagina to an actual pregnancy can take anywhere from around five or so days (which is why emergency contraception can work for up to 120 hours after a risk) to well over a week.
On virtually any day she has direct vaginal contact with sperm without using reliable birth control, and usually during vaginal intercourse. There are times in a woman's cycle (like a few days before and the day of ovulation, when the mucus of the vagina is most friendly towards sperm) when she is MOST likely to become pregnant, and times when she is least likely and even highly unlikely to become pregnant, but she can technically get pregnant because of live semen in the cervix at nearly any time in her cycle, and as all of our cycles differ, there is no one safe time for everyone.
Trying to predict times of ovulation is usually something that is done when you are TRYING to get pregnant, not trying to avoid it. However, some women chart their fertility cycles to be informed about their own bodies, some use that charting as a method of birth control (though using it solely isn't advised for younger women, or for couples who really can't deal with a pregnancy), and some use charting in conjunction with another method of birth control, such as condoms, by using condoms for all intercourse during all of the cycle, save the most fertile period, during which they abstain from genital intercourse completely. To chart fertile cycles and predict when you (or your partner) is most and least likely to be fertile, a woman will need to have had regular menstrual cycles for at least a few years, then every day look at her cervical mucus (with her finger or a speculum) and take her basal body temperature, with the help of a teacher or good guide to let her know what's what. After doing that for a few months, so long as cycles stay regular, one can predict with a good deal of accuracy when ovulation and highest fertility is likely to occur in the upcoming cycle, and know when it happened in the previous ones.
But counting days per periods based on average fertile times for all women is NOT a sound way to do that as it is not likely to be very accurate, since we don't all have the same cycle.
You can get pregnant at any time after your first menses (or period). Whether or not your hymen is broken is a nonissue, since it may well be broken (or more accurately, stretched or eroded) long before you first have intercourse. In any case, even if intercourse or sexual contact doesn't fully stretch your hymen, nearly all hymens have small holes -- called microperforations -- in them for menstrual flow that will allow sperm through as well.
If semen come in direct contact with your vagina, you can get pregnant. It is that simple.
Overall, the MOST likely way to become pregnant is by direct vaginal (not necessarily just vulval) contact with sperm. Sperm can live up to about 20 minutes in an environment that is unfriendly to them (in other words, outside the testicles, vagina or in lab conditions), but they are very delicate creatures in the great outdoors. So while, for instance, having unprotected anal sex where sperm can run right down into your vagina does put you at risk of pregnancy, it isn't as likely you will become pregnant as it is if you had vaginal intercourse. If there is a distinct barrier between your vagina and the penis in question, such as thick or nonpermeable clothing (like a few layers of denim or polyester or PVC), water, or an interstate highway, you are not at a high risk of pregnancy.
In addition, you cannot get pregnant by swallowing semen, by oral sex, or by manual (with hands, or "fingering") sex. You CAN, however, catch or transmit STIs that way.
As far as birth control methods, read our birth control chart to see which ones are the most effective, but overall, the MOST effective method of birth control (and the best when it comes to also reducing the spread of STIs) is a condom and an additional birth control method like the birth control pill, an implant or injectable method, or a diaphragm. Many teens who are not yet ready for intercourse or sexual activity where a condom is required don't keep them -- or other birth control -- handy. However, many unplanned pregnancies have occurred when things "just happen" or when one partner caves into pressure from another to have sex, even though they weren't planning on it. Do yourself a favor: just like you'd always keep a spare tire on your car in case of an emergency flat, keep a condom or two around with some lubricant, just in case you need them. There is absolutely no harm in being prepared.
MOST accidental pregnancies occur within the first six months of intercourse. A sexually active teenager who does not use contraceptives has a 80% chance of becoming pregnant within one year, a far, far better chance than she has of winning the lottery (would that we had that big a chance of winning the lottery!). In addition, your chances of contracting or transmitting a sexually transmitted disease or infection are also even greater than your chance of getting pregnant. Every year about one in four sexually active teens acquire an STI. One in four. That's why we think you should be concerned about them both.
By taking a pregnancy test.
There is no other way to know for sure early enough in the game to adequately consider your options. Most early symptoms of pregnancy do not show up until at least a couple weeks after conception, sometimes longer than that. Too, when early pregnancy does have symptoms, they're usually the same kinds of symptoms as PMS. You can use a home pregnancy test either after your first missed period, or around two weeks after your risk, and should repeat the test one week later if you get a negative result. The most reliable test is done by a doctor or clinician. If your test shows a positive, you should then go to a doctor's office or family planning clinic (like Planned Parenthood) and have a test done there. Home pregnancy tests are generally very reliable anymore, but positives should be verified professionally.
If you've been having intercourse and miss a period, then you'll want to take a test. Again, pregnancy is far less likely when a reliable birth control method has been used, and nearly impossible if you've also used a backup method, but we don't yet have a method which is 100% reliable, and it's always better to find out as early as you can if you are pregnant.
If an accidental pregnancy does happen, it doesn't mean it has to be the worst thing that ever happened to you. Teens who become pregnant and carry their child to term can get along -- and many can turn into really great parents -- but it is never easy, and there are many pitfalls along the way, some which you won't have to deal with, or won't be so tough, when you're even a little older. A lot of teens have the idea that they'll find a way to cope and can handle a pregnancy like a pro, but more times than not, it ends up being even more difficult than they can imagine. A few hard facts for you to look at. As a note, we at Scarleteen do not feel that many of these problems with teen pregnancy would exist if we lived in a culture which offered sound resources and support for teen pregnancies and parents, and which did not stigmatize teen pregnancy as it does. However -- and unfortunately -- that is not the case, and our culture's (most notably the United States) approach to teen pregnancy, youth sexuality and health care, and the effects that has, make these issues very real.
Think if it happens you'll probably easily abort or adopt?
More than half of teenage pregnancies end in births. Adoption is a very tough process for birth mothers, and abortion is costly and often hard to access, especially for younger people. Too, making reproductive choices can be very hard, and sometimes the choice we think we'll make when pregnancy is only an idea isn't the choice that feels right when it's a reality (which is also the case for many women who think they'll choose to give birth, but then, once pregnant, feel better about abortion or adoption).
Think your partner will marry you if you decide to keep the baby?
78% of births to teens occur outside of marriage, and teens now account for 31% of all nonmarital births, down from 50% in 1970 (Alan Guttmacher Institute). Most teen parents do not marry.
Think it'll never happen again?
One out of four of teenage mothers have a second child within two years of their first (Alan Guttmacher Institute).
Think you can hack college with a kid?
Only about one-third of mothers even complete high school (Robin Hood Foundation), which isn't surprising since many communities and schools do not offer day care or other support at an affordable cost to young mothers.
Think you can have a healthy, child in your teens and also stay healthy yourself?
1/3 of pregnant teens receive inadequate prenatal care; babies born to very young mothers are currently more likely to be low-birth-weight, to have childhood health problems and to be hospitalized than are those born to older mothers (Alan Guttmacher Institute). That can absolutely be changed by getting sound pre-natal care, right from the start, but a teen mother would need to seek out (and afford) that care either before pregnancy or very shortly after a pregnancy occurs.
Very young mothers also have a risk of death during childbirth that is more than twice as great as than that of women over 20. Mothers in their teens are also at high risk for poor weight gain during pregnancy (which is necessary for a babies' health), hypertension, anemia, and contracting STIs (many of which can be transmitted to children during birth or breastfeeding). In addition, more than half of all teenage mothers become welfare recipients within five years of the birth their first child (in the United States).
Obviously, it is greatly helpful to abstain from intercourse until you are really ready to handle the risks, including the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy. Educate yourself about sexuality and your body, and understand the risks you're taking. If you cannot obtain, afford or stick to a reliable birth control method every single time you have vaginal contact with a penis, don't have sexual intercourse. It's that simple, and that doesn't need to be torture. Anyone who tells you that it is is kidding you, and is kidding themselves. Sex is about many things, only one of which is intercourse (and which isn't that different from other forms of sex, like oral sex, despite the fairy tales), and the sex that is best for everyone -- on all levels -- is always only the sex that you're really ready for, even when that is no sex at all.
We're very lucky right now. For thousands of years, the science of reproduction eluded people, and those people had to rely on guesswork and "luck," but we don't have to.
Take the time to research and understand your body and your partner's body, and take care of yourself in the best way you can. Gambling isn't real bright when it comes to your paycheck, but it's simply destructive when it comes to your life, and to a new life you just may create with that gamble.
 | Dubious Conceptions: The Politics of Teenage Pregnancy author: Kristin Luker asin: 0674217039 |
 | The Mother of All Pregnancy Books: The Ultimate Guide to Conception, Birth, and Everything In Between (U.S. Edition) author: Ann Douglas asin: 0764565168 |
 | Dear Diary, I'm Pregnant: Teenagers Talk About Their Pregnancy author: Anrenee Englander asin: 1550374400 |
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