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Relationships Advice

You Don't Need Your Moms' Permission to Have Sex.

Juliaaa8 asks:

I'm 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 years. We're best friends and were so in love. The first time we had sex I was 16 and my mom found out and I was grounded and unable to see him for about a month and a half. We're both in college now and still together and he's coming down soon to visit me! We haven't had sex since that one time and since then my mom has made me ask her if I feel like I'm ready but every time I seem to ask her she shuts it down and makes me feel bad for wanting it. I really want to have sex with him when he comes down to see me and I'm scared to ask my mom. But I really want to explore my sexuality more and figure myself out more with him. How should I deal with this?

My Boyfriend is Trans, but not out yet. How do I support him?

yoyoma asks:

I recently became comfortable with my sexuality. Attracted to girls and boys. As a girl I always thought that I was just comfortable around girls, but I realized I liked them when I developed a crush on my friend, L. I started flirting with L and soon it came to light that we both like each other. That same day L told me she is a he. A transgender boy born a girl. I was okay with that, I didn't like L because of his gender I like him because he is a good person. Is it bad that because I have to call him a girl at school (he's not out yet) and refer to him as his birth name at school that I sometimes see him as my girlfriend? I'm trying to be open minded and I think I love him. Every time I think of him as a girl I snap out of it, but sometimes I feel guilty. Am I a bad girlfriend?

I'm a Gay Guy, but There's This Girl....

jayman858 asks:

I've considered it for long hours, and decided that I was gay. This was when I was about 11. I still fought with it for a while, but just recently I finally talked to myself and decided not to fight it anymore. Finally, when I get the mindset and confidence to say I'm fully gay, I meet this beautiful, sweet, hilarious, and honestly perfect girl who I connect with wicked well. I asked her out recently and she basically said not yet. I didn't go out and search thinking, "I want to be straight now please!" this girl just popped up out of nowhere last year. We've been friends for about a year now, and she recently moved onto campus. We've hung out non-stop, and she isn't even weirded out that I asked her out, she even said she'd thought about it, as in she thought about dating me. I'm just not sure if I should go for it or not. She did say not yet, in more words, but should I really try to become straight again? She really is the perfect girl, and I really want to, but will the fact that I'm with a girl cause any psychological stuff, like depression or like anything bad? I'd really like to just go date her, but a little voice in my head always whispers, "You're gay. You like men. You watch gay pR0n. You won't make her happy. Etc." I am completely lost and need some form of guidance moving forward.

I'm a Girl, does that Mean I can't Make the First Move?

tay.s asks:

I'm an 18 year old girl and have dated plenty of people. But my family has always been the type that believes guys should pretty much do the pursuing. My mom always says, if a guy wants a girl, he will make it known and he will try to make it happen. If he doesn't, he's not the right guy for you. Because of this, I've always let the guys come to me. My problem is that sometimes I'm interested in a guy and I feel he's interested in me, but it's not always the best situation to engage in a conversation like that. Like today, I was at an event geared towards kids. I was with my son but my mom tagged along. There was a guy running a booth and I was interested and he was definitely flirting but it just wasn't good for a full out conversation. Every time we passed him, he said something to me, even engaged my son and made him laugh, but he never took it a step further and I was convinced he wasn't as interested as I thought and ended up leaving with just a "have a good one". Sometimes I wish I could slip my number or ask him out or something but I never do because of my upbringing. Consequently, I end up thinking about it the rest of the day and often come to the conclusion that he must not have been interested in me like I thought and it kind of bums me out. I'm just not sure what to do about it? Should I stick to the family philosophy or maybe step out my comfort zone and go for it a couple times? Is there any way to feel a little more confident or know a little more clearly whether or not he's really interested?

Help! My Friend is Dating a Creepy Dude.

themathgirl asks:

There’s a guy I see frequently (We're in a small major together in school, we live in the same dorm) who has sexually harassed a number of girls in my group of friends. And now recently one of my friends told me that he raped her a year ago(the statute of limitations has passed.)
I don't trust him. Most of my friends and I do what we can to avoid him. However, my roommate/close friend started dating him four months ago. She knows about his bad behavior towards her friends. She knew about it when she started dating him. Maybe she doesn't believe it. Maybe she doesn't care. She refuses to listen to their claims that she's dating an asshole.
Knowing about this guy's general creepiness and having seen this friend disappear almost completely from our social circle to spend all her free time alone with him makes me worry he is abusing/manipulating/being an asshole to her. I've been told that often people put up with abusive relationships because they feel they have no social support outside the abuser. So the very last thing we, her friends, should do is let her disappear. In case she is being emotionally manipulated/abused/whatever, I want to show her that she has a network of friends other than him who care about her and support her. She won't spend time with friends without him though, and none of us (especially not the people he has harassed and abused) want to be around him. What do you recommend I do?

Hours of Intercourse? Nope. (And also: Ow.)

kayla17 asks:

Me and my boyfriend are both 17. Today we started sex but it only lasts 3 minutes. How can we make it last 1 or 2 hours?

On submission and speaking up

BrooklynnL asks:

I am a trained Submissive. I have only ever been in relationships with Dominants who know exactly how to be sexually/emotionally involved with a Sub. I am extremely into bondage/spanking/biting/ect., and the Doms that I have been involved with know exactly how to effectively provide that for me in a sexual relationship. I don't think I can even HAVE an orgasm without the aforementioned activities.
But recently I met this AMAZING guy that I have totally fallen for. He is perfect in every way and is just a total dream. He is pretty dominant, but I know he isn't a dom. We have been dating for almost 4 months now, and I haven't told him about my sexual past. We have been having sex but it isn't at all satisfying to me. I've been faking all of my orgasms, and have been putting up with the "Vanilla" sex since we've started dating. I'm afraid to tell him about my sexual preferences. I'm scared that hell think its disgusting or weird and run away. Or even worse, he'll stay but not be able to provide the things I need in a sexual relationship which will completely ruin our entire relationship all together. How do I effectively communicate to him my sexual needs and tell him that I've been hiding this from him? It's really hard for me to even think about doing that because as a Submissive I have always been with Dominants who always know exactly what I want and provide for my needs. Help!

The Problem Is Not Your Performance, It's Your Boyfriend

Meme28 asks:

My boyfriend REALLY wants to have sex with me. We're both 17. I don't want to because I'm afraid to be naked around him. I have given him oral sex. But he hasn't done anything but kiss me. Though, last night he caught me in the shower and asked if he could come in and I reluctantly agreed. We had sex, but after he told me that because I was a virgin I failed my first time. He also told me that my breasts are to small and my performance was terrible. He later told me he was sorry, and we had sex again. But he told me after that time I was horrible overall. I don't know if I'm that bad. I'm really nervous when he touches my breasts or vagina. Could this be affecting my performance? Any answers would help.

He Flirts and I Feel Bad, but I Don't Want it to be Over

Lorelli123 asks:

So I'm 14 and me and my bf have gone through loads. We were best friends for three years and have been together for one and a half years. He struggles with bullying at school, so to impress this guy he got pics of two girls on Snapchat. This crushed me because he sent stuff to her like "your tits are perfect" and stuff like that. I found this out four months ago and put him through a lot, then finally forgave him a couple months ago. I know he loves me and I don't want to hear stuff like I should leave him or anything it just upsets me so please don't. It's great and were so in love but it's hard to forget sometimes and it does cause some arguments. I need help on getting over it, and keeping the relationship strong at school with the constant bullying about us and I want to keep my friends at the same time. If you can tell me how to not be bothered with him flirting because he flirts naturally and has friends that are girls more. (We do sexual things but not proper sex, which made me feel self conscious when he got those pictures and that feeling has faded but still effects me).

My Friends Think It's Gross When I Talk About Sex

Freckle Face asks:

I"m 17 and I need some advice about my friends. We've known each other for years, one since toddler hood and the other two since middle school. They all talk about losing their virginity (or just having sex in general) all the time. When we go to college next year, when her boyfriend comes home for the summer, and on and on. However, whenever I say anything regarding something like that, they act like it's the grossest thing they've ever heard. It's like I don't get to have sexual thoughts like other people. All my other friends are perfectly fine with me commenting on those kinds of things, but my "best" friends aren't. Is that normal or do they not want me to talk about that for some reason?

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