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Relationships Advice

I decided not to continue an LDR, but now I'm not so sure.

zombiess asks:

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 7 months. We were never official, but all the feelings were there between the two of us. Neither of us wanted it to end but we did so anyways, because of money and distance.

Now I regret it, and he's just doing what he thinks is right, not what he wants. We have so much in common and we both agreed when we are with each other it makes it all worth it. HELP! What do I do? How do I move on? He wants me to be the one he runs to, and he wants to be the one I run to. He also still wants to fly me out there and still see me. And we both say the two of us never kissing is hard to deal with. I'm at a loss.

I like fantasizing about it: would I like it for real?

Prozac4490 asks:

I like to fantasize about being spanked when I masturbate, and I'm wondering if I would like it in real life sex play, too. Trouble is, I'm a little nervous about the idea of actually trying it out, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my boyfriend if he'd be cool with that! What should I do?

If Guys are Coerced by Girls, Is It Still Sexual Abuse?

arielleknowles asks:

A friend of mine was in a relationship about 2 years ago. He's a guy. His girlfriend at the time pressured him into doing oral sex by saying that if he didn't do it that meant he didn't love her. Would that be sexual abuse? Because if a guy pressured a girl into giving him a blow job that would be considered sexual abuse and I'm just double-checking to see if that goes both ways.

Consent (and other social conundrums) When Clubbing

Dylan19 asks:

I am a 19 year old guy and I have a question both about club etiquette and general advice. I have gone to nightclubs/pubs a few times with my friends and on the dance floor sometimes girls seem to stand very close to me and seem to be "inviting me" or waiting for me to make some kind of move (everyone tells me, and I suspect its true). Occasionally they even rub up against me with their bum and such. I usually try to escape or pretend it didn't happen because I just get TOO nervous. Later, I kick myself because half the time it's a girl I find attractive and would be interested in either getting to know or having some kind of frisky contact with on the dance floor. One of the things is I am terrified of moving badly or out of rhythm, of doing something awkward. My friends are all kinda fed up with me as I ask them about their encounters and seem to pass up any potential encounter I could have out of nerves or fear. They think I'm kinda 'living through them' by not doing anything myself. I'm also wondering about consent. If a girl dances up to me and rubs against me, that shows interest but isn't 100% consent, so how can I put my arms around her or dance close to her but ask? It's hard to ask because of loud music, maybe running away as I do is the best option.

How Do I Let Go of Feeling Sexually Unattractive?

Porphyria asks:

I had sex for the first time shortly after turning 20 (about a year ago), but I wish I had done it sooner. I know I had been ready and willing at age 16 or so -- the problem was just that no one was interested in me that way, but in the other girls around me. It still hurts, in a bizarre and surprising way. I feel like being a virgin for so long was not my choice; I feel like the decision was made for me by other people who decided I wasn't attractive enough to be with. To this day I still wonder if I'm intensely sexually unattractive, and if the occurrence at age 20 was just a fluke that will not repeat itself. How can I let go of this? How can I cope with late loss of virginity and stop seeing it as a personal failure to pass muster in terms of attractiveness?

Should my boyfriend and I work towards partnered orgasms, when mutual masturbation is working for us so far? And if so, how?

girlwhocrossedgap asks:

I am a 19 year old woman in a relationship with my awesome boyfriend. We are pretty much satisfied in our sex life, mostly because of all the cuddles and love. There is a question that I have, though. Usually we go at it (and do many types of sex) for a couple of hours, and then when we are ready to finish things, we both touch ourselves until we climax. (And give ourselves a great show.) I was wondering if there is supposed to be a point in the relationship where we transition from mutually masturbating to making each other come? I feel like this is something he wants since he keeps telling me to keep going until either I come or he comes. However, it is then frustrating because I know it doesn't happen. Are there some techniques you can give to help us maybe transition from mutual masturbation to partnered orgasms? Thank you :)

He Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore: How Can I Change His Mind?

cupcakewars77 asks:

My boyfriend for about two years now told me he doesn't feel like having sex. I told him I still do. He says all we ever do is have sex. That's not true. It's frustrating but I want sex and he doesn't. He is going to college this year and I won't see him as much because he will be so far way. Whenever we are to "fool around" he gets all serous and say I don't feel like having sex or no it doesn't feel right even though I am on the pill and we always use perfection. Always. Am I doing something wrong? Is there a way to even get him to have sex with me? I am confused and stressed out. It's been months and I feel like he is pulling away. Help!

His Religious Beliefs Are No Condoms, But I Need Them. What Do I Do?

sapphire12758 asks:

The guy I'm sleeping with really wants to have PIV sex with me, but he won't wear a condom because he's Roman Catholic. Everything else we've done has been amazing and I really want to do it, but I'm terrified of getting pregnant and I've already had a scare that I haven't told him about. I'm on the pill now, but I know that it isn't 100% effective. Would it be really wrong to try and get him to change his mind about condoms? I'm religious too and I'd hate to make him do anything that would go against his faith, but the idea of getting pregnant scares me so much that I have nightmares about it, and since we're not really together I don't know what he'd do.

It Was Fun, and I Want to Tell My Friends, But....

Secret_girl asks:

I was with this guy down at the beach late in the night and we started to hook up. It got a bit heated and asked me if I wanted to try something new. I said yes (I consented). He started to eat me out following with me giving him oral.

I'm scared that if I tell any of my friends I'll get judged. Girls are like that these days :( It's not like I regret it or anything. To be honest, I enjoyed it. I'm just afraid because there is so many labels being thrown around.

I was friendzoned by a girl I like; what do I do now?

Angelscar asks:

I was friendzoned and things are kinda awkward. I have known this girl for 4 years now, and I am in love with her for about 16 months or so. I found the courage to tell her how I feel about her but she said she sees me as a friend. I can't stop thinking of her. I know it's hard to get out of that friend zone thing, but I would appreciate any help you can give me. Thanks.

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