I'm 20 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years. We are both virgins. Early in the relationship I told myself that I didn't want to have sex until marriage (mainly because I was, and still am, paranoid about becoming pregnant. He's been very patient and has never tried to force or guilt me into having sex. I guess I sort of have 2 separate questions:

I have given him HJs and BJs for a few years, but he has never done the same for me, not because he doesn't want to but because it just never feels good, even when I'm "in the mood." I've pretty much given up on even letting him try because I assume it's going to be hopeless. In addition, I've never masturbated for the same reason. Is there anything I can do to make it work?

Second, I've recently really been considering having sex with him, not because he's pushing me (he's not), but because I've just felt like I want to. I was considering going on the pill, but if not (or at least not yet), would taking EC afterward even with correct and "failure-free" condom use be a bad idea? Would it be pointless?

Me & my boyfriend have been going out for about a year & just recently started having sex. Every time we've had sex so far I've been on bottom & last night he asked me to be on top. I was nervous but went for it anyway...well, I had no idea what to do once I was up there. I thought about "riding" him (it wasnt too hard to figure out how to ride him) but is that really pleasurable for guys? Are there other ways for girls to be on top? Please help me!

Hi in 16 turning 17 and its my first time on here and I find it very useful. I am soo glad that I finally found help. I've been dating my boyfriend for eight and a half months now, and we've had sex numerous times since. Well, this one time we wanted to see what it would feel like without a condom so we tried it and we both thought it felt soo good and so much better, but I pulled away right before he cummed. But the next time he showed up at my door step and surprised me and we both were really horny so we just had sex, and we were so into it that we both were like to each other..."What could possibly happen? We wouldn't get pregnant..not us" so we finished and he cummed inside of me. After that we freaked out! He told me to wash out my vagina with my shower tap. So I did. We are freaking out and are both praying I'm not pregnant. But there are some factors. I had my period during and he had cancer, so his doctor told him he has a 90% chance that he cant have kids. But I'm scared still. Will you please help me. Can I still be pregnant? I am waking up in the middle of the night constantly going pee, and I'm feeling sick every morning and all day! Please help us.

My Boyfriend and I are new to doing anything sexual. We are both virgins and have never had intercourse, just oral. How do I tell him what he is doing does nothing for me and doesn't please me without hurting his feelings, and what should I say to him?

Hi I'm 15 years old (male) and I want to wait till I find someone I really like before I have sex, but I want them to be a virgin too. I'm worried that if I wait too long all the pretty girls will have had sex and I won't be good at it yet, I'm worried that if they've already had sex that I won't be good enough for them, what should I do?

I did it for the fist time and it was horrible, my partner just went fast and hard and deep until he was done and I wasn't even aroused well...my private is huge now and I do not feel sex with my current partner, it's been three months now, could a person be ripped or torn unnatural although it's a vagina and made for sex with a man? Do I just need to wait a long time before doing it again? Is there a such thing as being torn or ripped and heal back and not get back the natural elasticity of my vagina? I mean I had to dig into my skin bite my fingers and hold my breath from the pain, I don't think that is normal.....help please I'm very worried about this!

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. I am 18, she is 17. I've been consistently fingering her/going down on her for several months now. Yet she has never taken the initiative as to go down on me, not even so much as with her hand. The only contact she seems able to handle with my penis is in sex, which we've tried to no avail (can't get it in). The fact that we can't have sex wouldn't bother me whatsoever if she went down on me every once and a while. What bothers me most is that she doesn't seem like she wants to get me off whatsoever. She seems literally terrified of my penis, though strangely OK with sex (I suspect this is because sex is pleasurable for her, too). Meanwhile, I am completely opposed to the idea of suggesting she go down on me, because I feel like she ought to want to anyway. Long story short, she seems perfectly attuned to receiving pleasure but not to giving it. What can I do?

I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.

As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.

He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!

I am a virgin, but my boyfriend has had sex before. I am positive that I am ready to have sex with him and we have attempted to do so three times already. The problem is that is causes me excruciating pain. I understand for most girls it causes some pain, but this pain is unbearable and I haven't been able to go through with it. When he fingers me he can fit 3 fingers in so I don't see what the problem is. We take our time and don't just skip right to sex. What should I do?

I was directed to this site by a friend of mine and I'm really impressed in the amount of information and real life questions that are answered. I've had a few things on my mind that I just can't seem to figure out so I guess this is one the best place to ask.

I am 19 years old and my partner is 18. We have been dating for almost 8 months and are very much in love. We have been sexually active for the past few months, and we were both virgins. We have only used condoms during sex because my partner hasn't had time to make an appointment to get a prescription to go on "the pill" We are hoping to have her start soon (within the month if things go as planned) We have been very careful when we have sex. We make sure the condom is on properly and that both of us are sufficiently lubed before there is any penetration. We have had a few scares, but it just turned out to be us over reacting over a late period (but I bet we aren't the only ones who have done that). We have been through a lot together and have shared so much with each other in the time we have been together. I never force her to do anything sexually if she doesn't want to. I respect her mind and body like it should be.

We have had some really great experiences sexually but there are some things that are starting to bother me.

I'm totally confused about my relationship, where it's going, I mean. I'm 14 years old and I have a 16 year old boyfriend, he's turning 17 in a few months. Since he's older, I know he has more sexual feelings and things like that, but I don't think I understand completely. We always fool around...kind of sexually...but not completely. We haven't had sex yet, and I think he might want to. I really don't know if I'm ready, mentally. I think it might ruin the relationship, I don't know what to tell him, or what to do when we start fooling around again. I mean, I enjoy it, but don't know how far to go with it, or where to stop. I feel like I need to talk to him, but no words come out. Whenever we "fool around" he asks like, "Is this okay?" or "Do you want me to stop?" I always let him do whatever, I don't mind at the time. But later on I really regret it, and wish I would have said something. What should I do?

To start off, I'm really self-conscious. I'm slightly heavyset, and practically hate myself for it. I know it's nothing really major, but nevertheless. I don't like my body.

My boyfriend is very athletic and is on one sport team or another all year round. He has a fantastic body and is really tan- me, on the other hand: un-muscular, pale (and pink, in some places), hairy (I have a trail of hair from my pubic area to my mid-stomach) and "flabby".

I don't feel comfortable taking off my clothes in front of him, much less having sex with him. Is there a way I can "train" myself to take my clothes off in front of him and not feel totally inferior?

I am 17 and all my friends have had sex already. I don't have a boyfriend but I really want to have sex. They all talk about it and I am the only one who cant talk about it coz - I have no clue! I want my first time to be really special, and I don't want to have the pain which all my friends have said comes with sex. I will wait for the right guy but I don't want my first time to be painful I want to enjoy it. Sooo could I buy a dildo and get the pain out of the way without the guy so when I come to have sex I wont be in pain? Does that work, or even if I have a dildo, will my first time having sex be painful? Is there any gel or stimulant to make me lubricated, I have mastapated before and no fluid has come so I am really worried that I don't produce that much! Also I can only fit one/ sometimes two fingers up there!
Please reply, I really need advice!

Last week one of my best guy friends and I were hanging out and we started making out, things got a little out of control and he ended up fingering me. I've been really horny ever since, and I don't know what to do -- ask? Or just go back to being friends? Also, I didn't orgasm - is that normal?

Okay, here I go. I am 19 years old, and lost my v-card last September. I am new at this thing called sex. I have so many questions that I am scared to ask... my parents would freak out if they even knew that I have had sex. so I am turning to you for advice. I hope that I do this right, and that you can answer my questions.

• Is it supposed to hurt? I do not enjoy sex at all... is it because I am messed up? I have been having sex for over a year, and I have not had an orgasm or anything close to it. I don't know what I am doing wrong. It is getting to the point where i refuse to do it. it is not like i want to know how to get an orgasm, it is just that everytime i have sex i hurt. i don't know....

• Why are my periods very very irregular? At times I have gone 3 months without having it. I have not had mine since the beginning of July and it is the 6th of October.

• How can I tell if I get pregnant if my period is irregular? I have unprotected sex. I am not going to lie, the condom hurts me more than without it. My BF pulls out a few sec before he... you know.... Anyway, how do I tell if he pre-ejaculates? I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to waste $20 every time i get a scare for a test. Yes,the best way to stop these scares is not have sex period.

These are loaded questions and I really do not know how to word these properly, so if there is anything you can help me with I would so greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

I am 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We have been going out for 9 months, and we have tried to have sex a few times. although, every time we try, either he can't get hard, or it is excrucitangly painful for me. We are both virgins, so neither of us have any experience with this. One time we tried, he was hard, and it didnt hurt me, but his penis just wouldnt go in, is there something wrong?

I would also like to know what the best condom brands are, because the ones he uses are just the free ones my brother got from the bagly dances and gave to my boy frined as a joke. While I am on the topic of condoms, sometimes he ejaculates before he even goes in, he always gets upset and dosent want to try again, but would it be ok to still have sex even with the ejaculate in the condom?

He has also fingered me but gets angry when I don't get wet. Is there any way to make me get wet faster, or easier?

I am sort of glad though, that it hasn't worked, because I can still call myself a virgin. I don't think I would be ready if we really had sex. Right now we are talking a break, and agreed that it kind of makes me uncomfortable so we agreed not to go further than making out, and feeling (clothes on) but I would really like to have this information, for the next time we try.

I lost my virginity when I was 15 to the boy I've been with for nearly 2 years now. He's a wonder. He was exceptionally gentle with me when I needed it, and with a little persuasion, isn't afraid to give me what I want. To put it gently, I think we're past the 1 minute quickly in the back seat of a car. He's also been awesome about my recent admittance of being bisexual. He's neither perverted or turned off about it, but basically just thinks it's cute.

I have two friends who are in the same boat as me as far as sexual experience, but two of my other close friends are not. One minute they try to get me to share, then the next minute come down on me and claim to do so because of religious reasons. They say things like "We're waiting for marriage, why aren't you?" and "Well, I feel differently." Their attitudes change quickly, but only after I get done sharing as they ask me too. The boyfriend says it's not religious reasons, that its really jealousy. Only one of them has been kissed, the other has never had anyone ask her out. Because of those facts, part of me thinks he's right, but knowing them as I do, I'm not sure that it is. Is it jealousy, or is it religious reasons?

I am in a bit of a pickle. I am ok with my boyfriend fingering me, but I never tell him to, or even elude to it. But I am uncomfortable with giving him hand jobs. I mean, we will be lying down on the couch, and he will just start sliding his hands down to unbutton my pants. I won't resist (unless I am on my period, or am not in a sexual mood) but feel awkward when he then wants me to give him a handjob. How do I tell him this, because even though I do enjoy him fingering me, and I think he likes it too, I don't want to give him hand jobs, and don't want our relationship to become one wayed...what do I do?

My boyfriend gets REALLY tired (and boring) after he orgasms. He like falls asleep. Is this normal??

My boyfriend likes to have sex with me at least twice a week. During my menstruation is it a problem to have sex? My boyfriend wants to have anal sex but I am afraid of getting hurt. How to do?

He wants oral sex but I don't like to give it. What should I do?

So, I got my boyfriend really horny, and I told him we weren't going to have sex anymore today and that I didn't want to be fingered, but he put his hand down my pants anyways. I kept saying no because I didn't want it, but he's stronger than me and ended up fingering me anyways. Afterward, he said he was sorry, but this wasn't the first time, he always does it and he always says but you like it, like that's supposed to make it better. Is this rape or am I in a safe relationship? Because besides when it comes to sex, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

I’m a 14 year old boy. There is this girl that really likes me and I feel the same way about her. We want to have sex, but we’re both uneasy about it. What should we do?

My girlfriend has been acting all shifty around me. I thought she'd gone off me and I started ignoring but then I started to hear rumours that she was pregnant and it was my kid which shocked me cause we're always so careful. I kinda confronted her when she told me it was true I freaked and completely flipped out at her. It was like world war 3, I felt so bad after but I feel like I can't talk to her and shes wants me to be involved but again I don't think I can. I'm finding it really hard to get used to all this stuff and every one around me is treating me like it's all my fault, which I know it is but I don't get why everyone's treating me like this. I guess if I was looking in on all this shit I'd probably judge but I've got so much shit going on after my dad walking out, coping with this is like hell on earth. What can I do? People are saying I'll get used to it but I really don't wanna.

I love your site and need some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We are both seniors in high school. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend will soon turn 18. We are both virgins. We have talked about sex but have not done it. When we have it we both want it to be with someone we care about and want it special. We both agree that it is natural and can be beautiful if it is done for the sake of love. We kiss, pet, and have made out but not done it.

His 18th birthday falls on a Friday this year and I am having a birthday party for him. We will have some friends come over to celebrate. I have asked him what he wants for his birthday and he told me about a few non-sexual things that he would wish for. I think that he would really like to have sex on his 18th birthday. I know I would. My parents will be way on business for the weekend of the party. This seems like a great time to express our love to each other physically. I would like to give him the gift of sex for his birthday. I have several questions. Maybe you could answer them.

I have a very confusing situation. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. We both had partners before each other, but have always used condoms. Since we have been in this relationship for a year, and have both been tested for STIs, and I am on birth control, we have started to use condoms less. We use them when we remember but if its a spur the moment kind of thing, we don't worry about it.

Recently, my boyfriend approached me and said he has an STI (chlamydia) and I should get tested. I was mortified! I had just been tested two weeks before and everything came back negative. His previous testing had also been all negatives. I went back and was re-tested, and again the results came up negative (I was given a prescription just in case).

Neither of us have ever had sex without a condom before now. How is it possible that he suddenly developed an STI when both of us have tested negative before, and haven't been with anyone else? Could it be a misdiagnoses, or is it possible to get an STI another way? For example, having unprotected sex while the girl is on her period? Help!!

My boyfriend and I have been dating well over a year and we have talked about getting married. He said that on the honeymoon he is not going to wear a condom. I, however, want him to because I don't want to get pregnant right away. I know that you won't get pregnant right away every time, but I don't want to take the chance. I have told him this, yet he still insists on not wearing one. Basically I'm asking how can I change his mind or get him to see it from my point of view?

Growing up, me and my friends always dressed the same and acted the same, but as we started getting older, we all developed into beautiful, young independent women. Since then, I have always felt that my friends were prettier than me and got all the attention. Looks-wise, they totally are gorgeous. But it had really taken a toll on my social life, and I don't even leave the house anymore, cause I'm afraid if I go out with them then I'll just be sad again. I'm also afraid that if I ever had a boyfriend that he would develop a crush on my friends because they are so much prettier than me. What should I do?

I am 23 and still a virgin, I am in a relationship with a guy and want to have sex with him but does not want him to know I am a virgin. Is there anyway we can make love without him knowing? Help, please.

My boyfriend and I are both virgins. We have talked about sex and decided we are ready for it. Can sex be a way of saying "I love you"? How? What makes it such?