I can't have an orgasm: I have been sexually active for a year. Any suggestions?

I am very confused about "popping my cherry". I have previously read that everyone has to have their cherry popped, but then again some say that there is no skin thing. If not, than why does it hurt when you have sex for the first time or why do you bleed?

I'm a 16 year-old male and me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 5 months. We have recently started having vaginal sex and were both a bit confused. We were both virgins so we have no prior knowledge of having sex. When we had intercourse she said that she was feeling pain when I put my penis in only an inch or so. We figured it was just since it was her 1st time. We tried again last night and she had the same problem. She was very upset and I did my best to comfort her. Is the pain normal? What can I do to let her enjoy sex? How is it supposed to feel for her?

Another problem was that she said that she felt and itchy irritation while I had my penis in her, and it itched her urinating the next day or 2. I was wearing a Trojan brand spermicide lubricated condom. Could she be allergic to the condoms we used? If so what she we try instead? Are the alternative condoms as efficient? Is there any other over the counter type of protection, other than a condom and spermicide, to protect against pregnancy? She refuses to take "the pill", is afraid of a morning after pill, and we can't go to a doctor to get something made for her to wear because if our parents discover we are having sex, than we wont ever see each other. PLEASE HELP!!!

Any help would be greatly appreciated, and would make both our lives much better!!!
Thanks!

I am married for last one and half months. I and my husband were virgins till marriage. I am experiencing pain in my lower abdomen after intercourse. It will stay for one hour and it will go automatically. We use protection during sex. I have history of irregular period. I have also missed last month period. I have done pregnancy test at home twice but got negative result both the times. What can be the problem? Can I be pregnant even if test is negative?

I'm a week late for my period, a little tired, but other than that I'm fine. I've been having sex for a little while but my period has always come between the 17-20. It's now the 28th. I already took a test a few days ago and it was negative. I'm really worried. Please does anyone have answers?

I've had one my questions answered before and I'd like to thank you for answering it because it was very useful :) Now I've got more!

• Sex with my significant other has been wonderful the past few times we've done it, emotionally. I still wonder about physical, though. I have orgasmed before but only with my own clitoral stimulation. Is there a possible way or technique used to attain vaginal orgasm?

• I've also wondered about unprotected sex...I have not done it yet, but I don't want to rush into things before something bad happens. I am on the pill and we were both virgins when we started. So I know that there is no possible risk of STD's. I heard it feels better for both partners with no condom, so what are my risks and options?

•I always thought that sex in the water was unhealthy. Then I came across a book in my local sex shop about how to have sex in the water! Doesn't the water ruin the latex of the condom or is it safe not to use one in the water?

I did it for the fist time and it was horrible, my partner just went fast and hard and deep until he was done and I wasn't even aroused well...my private is huge now and I do not feel sex with my current partner, it's been three months now, could a person be ripped or torn unnatural although it's a vagina and made for sex with a man? Do I just need to wait a long time before doing it again? Is there a such thing as being torn or ripped and heal back and not get back the natural elasticity of my vagina? I mean I had to dig into my skin bite my fingers and hold my breath from the pain, I don't think that is normal.....help please I'm very worried about this!

First of all, I am really thankful for your services. I am 29 yrs old female and recently got married to a 30 yr old guy. We have tried to sex couple of times but unsuccessful because of pain I experience when my husband tried to penetrate. Although we gathered useful information from your site, the main problem is that since we both are virgins we don't have much idea about these things. Secondly we both are not aroused at same time. Can you please advise us as to what is the best position or possibly the best way to do it first time?

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Every now and then he says that my vagina gets loose. I'm not doing anything for it to change sizes. He thinks I'm cheating on him and I'm not. I don't know what to do. I'm so speechless when he says whats going on, why is it like this. What am I supposed to say to him if I'm not doing anything? And what makes it feel different to him?

I am 16 and about 4 foot 11 inches. I am relatively short and scared that my boyfriend's penis won't enter completely because of the length of my vagina. Does my height affect my vagina's length?

I'm 20 years old, and the other day, I went to the gynecologist to have my first pelvic exam. Upon learning that I was a virgin, my gyn told me that she would be unable to perform an internal exam on me. Needless to say, I was kind of shocked, but later, I called a friend, and she told me that she had had the same experience. In her case, the nurse practitioner told her that performing an internal exam would be like her "paying to take away her virginity."

Now I'm not American, and in my culture, there is still a strong association between the hymen and virginity. What I wanted to know was if American gynecologists would balk at the idea of performing an internal examination on a virgin. Also, isn't it important to get a Pap smear done even if you aren't sexually active and probably haven't contracted HPV?

I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.

As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.

He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!

My girlfriend came home from a party. I wasn't with her. When she got home we went to bed. Neither of us have intercourse because of our beliefs. We do "fool around." She wanted me to stimulate her as usual which involves inserting my finger in her vagina. Normally, it's relatively for lack of a better term tight. This time her opening was wide open. Open to the point the I could have inserted 2 or 3 fingers. This was not a normal thing for her in the time we've been together. Is it possible that the opening was like that because of penetration of something else, say a penis? I never said anything to her about it but I'm concerned.

And Butterflyeye asks...
Can a guy tell how many sex partners that you've had judging by the tightness or lack thereof in your vagina?

I am a virgin and naive to many things concerning sexuality. I have a boyfriend now and am curious. Can you tell me how a women's ovulation cycle works? How do I know when I am ovulating? During what time of the month will sex be the most painful?

I am also wondering if certain sports can affect first sexual intercourse. I am a dancer, which means I do a lot of stretching. Can this sort of physical activity wear away my hymen? As dancers, we also have the tendency to clench our butt muscles. Can the tightness in these muscles affect sexual intercourse?

I am a virgin, but my boyfriend has had sex before. I am positive that I am ready to have sex with him and we have attempted to do so three times already. The problem is that is causes me excruciating pain. I understand for most girls it causes some pain, but this pain is unbearable and I haven't been able to go through with it. When he fingers me he can fit 3 fingers in so I don't see what the problem is. We take our time and don't just skip right to sex. What should I do?

During my teens while cleaning my private parts I indulged in shaking and by doing that I got the sensation and slowly and steadily white fluid used to come out. Due to that I used to stammer a lot while speaking and my hair had become half. But I had stopped and started to recover but but still I used to do it once or twice a year. For last one year I had not done it and saw personality improvements in me. Now I am about to get married, will it have any effect in my conceiving. Please, it is very urgent.

I was wondering what is it called when a white creamy colored liquid comes out of the female during sex. My boyfriend stopped having sex with me because that color of liquid came out and he also said it was smelly, like bad.

Last night I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom. I'm am currently on this new birth control Yaz 24/7 (or something along those lines). Well yesterday he ejaculated inside of me. First the inside of my vagina started to burn really bad. Then my stomach started hurting a lot (sharp pains), and I got really bad cramps. I was terrified. The worst part was when I stood up, a clear mucus type liquid came out of my vagina. First it dripped. Then a great amount pour out and slid down my leg. I started crying because I don't think this is normal. It seemed like his ejaculate just sat in my vagina and when I stood up it just slid down my leg. But I don't think it was his ejaculate! There was no blood, either. I'm SO scared. What's going on? Please help!

To start off, I'm really self-conscious. I'm slightly heavyset, and practically hate myself for it. I know it's nothing really major, but nevertheless. I don't like my body.

My boyfriend is very athletic and is on one sport team or another all year round. He has a fantastic body and is really tan- me, on the other hand: un-muscular, pale (and pink, in some places), hairy (I have a trail of hair from my pubic area to my mid-stomach) and "flabby".

I don't feel comfortable taking off my clothes in front of him, much less having sex with him. Is there a way I can "train" myself to take my clothes off in front of him and not feel totally inferior?

I just had unprotected sex for like 5 mins on the last day of my period, and my partner had pre-cum before we had sex, is there a highly risk that I can get pregnant?

Okay, here I go. I am 19 years old, and lost my v-card last September. I am new at this thing called sex. I have so many questions that I am scared to ask... my parents would freak out if they even knew that I have had sex. so I am turning to you for advice. I hope that I do this right, and that you can answer my questions.

• Is it supposed to hurt? I do not enjoy sex at all... is it because I am messed up? I have been having sex for over a year, and I have not had an orgasm or anything close to it. I don't know what I am doing wrong. It is getting to the point where i refuse to do it. it is not like i want to know how to get an orgasm, it is just that everytime i have sex i hurt. i don't know....

• Why are my periods very very irregular? At times I have gone 3 months without having it. I have not had mine since the beginning of July and it is the 6th of October.

• How can I tell if I get pregnant if my period is irregular? I have unprotected sex. I am not going to lie, the condom hurts me more than without it. My BF pulls out a few sec before he... you know.... Anyway, how do I tell if he pre-ejaculates? I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to waste $20 every time i get a scare for a test. Yes,the best way to stop these scares is not have sex period.

These are loaded questions and I really do not know how to word these properly, so if there is anything you can help me with I would so greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

I have been with my boyfriend 2 years now, we have had anal sex before. I was not aware of the safety factors of it, and we had anal to vaginal sex...alot. I ended up with a horrible UTI and kidney infection. I also had anal herpes outbreak (never had one before.) This was all over a year ago. Anyway, we are trying to introduce anal play back into our sex life.

I am paranoid (as you can imagine) I need your professional advice, and opinions. Do we need to use a condom for anal since we have been together so long, and already figured out that we have herpes? Also...I am paranoid about the infection thing, obviously I'm not even thinking about anal to vaginal sex, but I am still nervous. Please set my mind at ease.

Me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time. I used protection and she has been on birth control to regulate her periods out. She has missed her period by a week now. She has had brown spotting but no period. Is it normal for your period to be a little varied after the first time having sex?

I have a problem: I think I'm addicted to stress, or at least the relief when stress has passed. I'm a very overly paranoid person and yet I keep acting carelessly and doing risky things.

I don't want to get pregnant, I'm not on pills, and yet I'm always doing something sexual with my boyfriend.
- Sometimes I'll sit on his penis naked...him not in me, but me on his shaft.
- I've swallowed, kissed him and had him preform oral
- We have sex quite regularly although we always use new condoms and I check for tears right away
- Today I've probably done the stupidest thing of all....I've let him put his penis inside me unprotected (he urinated before hand to rid himself of any cum, it was for only a few seconds and he didn't move it much, and I put Purell inside myself after)

I know it was stupid! I dont know why I always do this to myself.I make myself sick with worry each and every time and yet I cannot control myself. I dont think I'm addicted to sex or anything, but I do think I'm hooked on stress. Have you ever heard such a stupid thing? I always do things that stress me out. I leave huge projects to the last minute, I've purposely made myself late for things. I don't much care about the everyday things but the sexual stress is whats concerning me. I literally say to myself "no more sex till I get on pills" and yet the next time I'm with my boyfriend, I practically force myself on him. WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!!?!

I dunno exactly what I'm asking but any advice would be appreciated...oh and whats the likelyhood of getting pregnant from what I described? I'd go and get plan b but unfortunately I don't think I have access to it.

How do you best position yourself to get eaten out? I've never thought of oral being appealing (as a girl) but I'm interested in how it would best be played out.

I'm a fourteen year old girl turning fifteen very soon. I've always loved to flirt, and am even somewhat of a romantic. I've always believed that I should maintain abstinence, not only to respect my parents' wishes, but also to live up to their expectations. However, a few months ago, I've been touched at a school dance by an older boy. It wasn't a violating touch, it seemed like the guy just wanted to see how much I would allow. He very polite (as much as possible in this situation) about it and would stop when I made it clear I did not want to be touched in that manner. But ever since, I think I've been horny! I'm starting to rethink my values of having sex. I know that the sole reason I've believed in abstinence was reflexive to obeying my parents, because I never really thought about having sex before. But now that I have thought about it, I want to try and experiment. Of course, I don't want to jump immediately at the first chance I have, but I definitely want to try when I find someone I'm comfortable with. I'm just worried whether I'm too young, or if going against my parents' expectations is acceptable. I would prefer it if I did not have to tell my parents, because I know they will not approve of this. If I go through with having sex, is it right or are there any better alternatives?

I am in my upper 20's and I have never had an orgasm. I have been sexually active since I was 16. I have mastebated both with and without vibrators and other toys. I enjoy sex, and masterbation, but I can't seem to get aroused enough to orgasm. I have tried what many sites say, squatting over a mirror to get aquainted with my pink parts. I really can't see my clitoris. I see the urethra opening, but nothing else. I don't have any hightened sensation there, and can't find a "Gspot." Only rubbing fingers side to side while pressing hard an inch or two above my clitoris seems to get the sensation, but not strong enough for me to cum. A friend told me I could have a hooded clit and that I would have to have surgery to get it fixed. What is a hooded clit and can it be fixed. Any suggestions on how I can get to the big O. I try to relax. Sometimes I get the feeling that it is close to happening and then I just get distracted and totally lose the feeling.

I'm 17 and wondering if there was anyway to make myself wetter down there, or if I could make myself tighter? My boyfriend tends to like sex more when im wet and tight. I do feel like im wetter if I drink more water each day (like 2 water bottles while I'm at school) Is it because I'm drinking more fluids, or is it all in my mind?

I get tight and loose randomly but I feel really small when we have sex less often for long periods of time. Like have sex on Monday, and then don't do it again till Saturday. I know the vagina naturally changes shape and becomes looser or tighter. But I want to know if theres anyway to make it tighter. I love having sex with my boyfriend, but I want him to have fun too (I know he does) but I want to make it more enjoyable for both of us. He tends to explode when I'm wet and tight, and we both enjoy that. Thankies to you if you can help.

My periods have always been kind of irregular and because of this I went on the pill to try and regulate my cycle. After taking the pill for about 7 months, my periods were not regulating but I continued to take it. Once I got to college, I was getting periods every 2 weeks with bad cramps, etc. I finished out my pack and stopped taking it because it was making me feel worse and not doing what I hoped it would do. I still have not gotten my period since I stopped taking the pill and am getting worried because I am sexually active. My boyfriend and I always use protection and are very responsible, but I am still worry. Is is normal for my periods to be so delayed after stopping the pill?

Is there anything other than birth control that will help lighten my period and relieve cramps?