I have a history of sexual abuse which I have just started working on in therapy--including repressed memories. I have never willingly engaged in sexual experiences and I am 25 years old. A few years ago, during an ER visit for extreme pain (kidney stones) I was given an internal exam which felt out of my control. In fact, seemed forced and I left feeling very violated. Now, I have never seen a gyn even though I am much overdue. I feel like I should for health reasons but I am terrified I will have flashbacks again if the doctor touches my vagina. How do I deal with this? It has impacted this and my ability to seek relationships because of fear of being touched vaginally.

I'm worried because I bleed after having sex. At first it was only a little bit, but now it's a lot!
I don't know what's wrong with me.

Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that?
And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.. What happened was that we hadn't seen each other for a year cos he'd moved and when I came to visit we made out. He wanted to go further and I didn't. When I refused to go down on him he spiked me drink and made me do it when I was drunk. Unprotected. (Had STI screening since then, which was all clear...) I just feel like I could've somehow done something. Like keep an eye on my drink or say no more forcefully or just plain fight him off. I don't really know how to deal with this... I hope you can help..

Also, I was talking to a male friend the other day and he thought that men should have an option to legally not be fathers in case of a pregnancy. Like not be obliged to pay for child care and not be a part of the kids life whatsoever. I thought that this was ridiculous, but couldn't come up with any sound reasons why I though so.. It was just a general feeling. If this discussion comes up again what can I say?

I am 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We have been going out for 9 months, and we have tried to have sex a few times. although, every time we try, either he can't get hard, or it is excrucitangly painful for me. We are both virgins, so neither of us have any experience with this. One time we tried, he was hard, and it didnt hurt me, but his penis just wouldnt go in, is there something wrong?

I would also like to know what the best condom brands are, because the ones he uses are just the free ones my brother got from the bagly dances and gave to my boy frined as a joke. While I am on the topic of condoms, sometimes he ejaculates before he even goes in, he always gets upset and dosent want to try again, but would it be ok to still have sex even with the ejaculate in the condom?

He has also fingered me but gets angry when I don't get wet. Is there any way to make me get wet faster, or easier?

I am sort of glad though, that it hasn't worked, because I can still call myself a virgin. I don't think I would be ready if we really had sex. Right now we are talking a break, and agreed that it kind of makes me uncomfortable so we agreed not to go further than making out, and feeling (clothes on) but I would really like to have this information, for the next time we try.

My gf is pregnant, I am not ready, what do I do?

I'm 15 years old and was sexually abused for two years in the past. How do I get over my intimacy issues?

The last boyfriend I had, anytime we were physically intimate, my chest would get really tight, I'd often start to shake, and I'd go into this blank zone where I'd just stare at the ceiling and my body would be completely unresponsive. It was really scary. Sometimes he would notice and ask me if I was alright, and I would just kind of nod numbly so I wouldn't disappoint him. Since that relationship, I've dated a little, but now it's gotten to the point where even kissing makes my stomach roil. I've had to stop seeing them so I wouldn't be put into a situation where they would try something physical. I cannot bear the thought of anything remotely sexual, and I feel like it's rapidly becoming an unstoppable downwards spiral.

I want to enjoy intimacy, not be terrified and repulsed by it. It's odd having my sisters gush over how good it feels when I just want to throw up. I feel really abnormal. I also feel like I'm never going to have a working relationship because what guy is going to want to be with a girl like me? It's frustrating, because I'm perfectly okay with all the other aspects of a relationship (of course I'd like to have someone to hang out with and cuddle with and all of that), but I'd just like it without the sex part.

What should I do? Is there any way I can fix this? I'm currently in therapy, but I still don't feel quite ready to open up and tell my therapist about my intimacy issues. It's easier this way. I hope you can help, I don't know what to do and I certainly don't want to get any worse!

For the past few months my period hasn't been normal. I'll go weeks or sometimes a whole month without it. I am currently in a relatively new relationship (about 2 months now) and we've had sex a few times, but he pulls out right before. I know about the risk of pre-ejaculate and such, but how possible is it to get pregnant from it? Also, I want to start using condoms and while I feel comfortable with him, since we've never brought it up I am bit apprehensive about mentioning it. How can I tell him that if we're going to have sex we need to use condoms? I know it sounds simple and it should be, I'm probably just stressing out about bringing it up over nothing. The thing is that we're both pretty religious people and while I'm more than happy with our sex life, I didn't expect it wouldn't happen so soon. So, the dilemma is do I mention the condoms? Or should we quit having sex because of the way deep down we know we should live and behave. I'm not in anyway saying I don't "want" to have sex.. but I don't know if having sex is the best thing for us now. And if it isn't, how do I go about telling him when we've had sex a few times? (I know this is definitely a personal problem for me, but if you were in my position.. what do you think you'd do?)

Another quick one, in my last relationship that lasted 4 years, my boyfriend who was 27 and I would have sex, either vaginally or orally, and he could only become aroused and ejaculate once. With the person I am with now (who is 31) he'll get aroused and ejaculate and an hour later he's ready to go again. Is it just different in every person? Thanks so much for your time.

My boyfriend and I had intercourse last night without protection and he accidentally ejaculated inside. I got my period on Monday, November 5th, so I am not sure whether or not I might end up pregnant since it's almost been a week and usually when a girl has intercourse during her period it has been proven to tend to accelerate the period process during sex, which causes the period to stop. Right now I am barely bleeding, in fact I think it's only residues what I have and that the flow has completely stopped since the pad is not stained. He told his sister about the Emergency Contraceptives and she tried to get some, calling hospitals to see if they had any, the few she called said no, I live in the Republic of Panama, so the selling of those drugs might not be as available as in the United States. So lastly, she suggested to her brother for me to take Provera pills, which are supposed to enable bleeding and will not let me get pregnant; she has taken it to induce her periods before.

24 hours have not passed since the occurrence, but at around late 5 or early 6 am today it would have been 24 hours. I have two pills, I've been told to take them both at once. My boyfriend's friend called up a friend of his that has used it successfully as an emergency contraceptive and he also called another friend, a nurse, that confirmed it could be used that way. My boyfriend too, spoke with a general doctor who claimed that in this case the possibilities of me getting pregnant are small, however that the Provera would indeed help. I am however very skeptical, afraid, and worried about any side effects or whether it will prevent a pregnancy. I have researched about the side effects and don't feel good about the fact that they advise a prescription from a doctor and the side effects seem to be pretty negative and I have learned that Provera was used once as a pregnancy test. But I am extremely concerned that I have just finished my period, and so is it possible in any way to already have a period and have it extended as a result of a pill and much less have it confirm or debunk a possible pregnancy?

Please let me know as soon as possible whether or not to take these two pills! I don't know what else I can do! My parents cannot know and I don't want to have to abort! Thanks a million!

I had sex with a girl a week ago. She didn't say anything about contraceptives. After we had sex she said she wasn't on birth control. I asked her why she naver said anything? Anyhow I heard of a guy a few years ago who had the same problem. He took a bottle full of coke and turned her bottom up and poured the bottle into her vagina. I told her about this. She was willing to try it. So we did the deed. Is this a safe practice? If she misses her period would it be safe to learn how to use a coat hanger? It would be sterile. Is there somewhere you can learn to perform an abortion with a wire?