I had sex with a girl a week ago. She didn't say anything about contraceptives. After we had sex she said she wasn't on birth control. I asked her why she naver said anything? Anyhow I heard of a guy a few years ago who had the same problem. He took a bottle full of coke and turned her bottom up and poured the bottle into her vagina. I told her about this. She was willing to try it. So we did the deed. Is this a safe practice? If she misses her period would it be safe to learn how to use a coat hanger? It would be sterile. Is there somewhere you can learn to perform an abortion with a wire?

I just had unprotected sex for like 5 mins on the last day of my period, and my partner had pre-cum before we had sex, is there a highly risk that I can get pregnant?

I am 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We have been going out for 9 months, and we have tried to have sex a few times. although, every time we try, either he can't get hard, or it is excrucitangly painful for me. We are both virgins, so neither of us have any experience with this. One time we tried, he was hard, and it didnt hurt me, but his penis just wouldnt go in, is there something wrong?

I would also like to know what the best condom brands are, because the ones he uses are just the free ones my brother got from the bagly dances and gave to my boy frined as a joke. While I am on the topic of condoms, sometimes he ejaculates before he even goes in, he always gets upset and dosent want to try again, but would it be ok to still have sex even with the ejaculate in the condom?

He has also fingered me but gets angry when I don't get wet. Is there any way to make me get wet faster, or easier?

I am sort of glad though, that it hasn't worked, because I can still call myself a virgin. I don't think I would be ready if we really had sex. Right now we are talking a break, and agreed that it kind of makes me uncomfortable so we agreed not to go further than making out, and feeling (clothes on) but I would really like to have this information, for the next time we try.

A friend of mine is severely frightened that she might be pregnant, and I thought I would do a little research to help her out.

She recently had unprotected sex, but stopped halfway through, and neither party came. She knows that the risk there is pre-cum, and says that is why she is so frightened. Her menstruation cycle is not regular, sometimes she is 25 and sometimes 29, sometimes any number in between, but as she is getting closer to the day when she should start, she is freaking out. She thinks she is imagining the cramps, because they are not as strong as they used to be or not as long-lasting.

If she is pregnant, she wants to have an abortion. Her fiance is in the military and being deployed, and she wants to finish school. She is also very broke; where can I find information for her on free abortion clinics, or how to get help paying for an abortion? Her parents are very Catholic, and just recently disowned her because they couldn't all get along, so she has no emotional or financial support there. Any advice?

So, I got my boyfriend really horny, and I told him we weren't going to have sex anymore today and that I didn't want to be fingered, but he put his hand down my pants anyways. I kept saying no because I didn't want it, but he's stronger than me and ended up fingering me anyways. Afterward, he said he was sorry, but this wasn't the first time, he always does it and he always says but you like it, like that's supposed to make it better. Is this rape or am I in a safe relationship? Because besides when it comes to sex, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

My boyfriend and I had intercourse last night without protection and he accidentally ejaculated inside. I got my period on Monday, November 5th, so I am not sure whether or not I might end up pregnant since it's almost been a week and usually when a girl has intercourse during her period it has been proven to tend to accelerate the period process during sex, which causes the period to stop. Right now I am barely bleeding, in fact I think it's only residues what I have and that the flow has completely stopped since the pad is not stained. He told his sister about the Emergency Contraceptives and she tried to get some, calling hospitals to see if they had any, the few she called said no, I live in the Republic of Panama, so the selling of those drugs might not be as available as in the United States. So lastly, she suggested to her brother for me to take Provera pills, which are supposed to enable bleeding and will not let me get pregnant; she has taken it to induce her periods before.

24 hours have not passed since the occurrence, but at around late 5 or early 6 am today it would have been 24 hours. I have two pills, I've been told to take them both at once. My boyfriend's friend called up a friend of his that has used it successfully as an emergency contraceptive and he also called another friend, a nurse, that confirmed it could be used that way. My boyfriend too, spoke with a general doctor who claimed that in this case the possibilities of me getting pregnant are small, however that the Provera would indeed help. I am however very skeptical, afraid, and worried about any side effects or whether it will prevent a pregnancy. I have researched about the side effects and don't feel good about the fact that they advise a prescription from a doctor and the side effects seem to be pretty negative and I have learned that Provera was used once as a pregnancy test. But I am extremely concerned that I have just finished my period, and so is it possible in any way to already have a period and have it extended as a result of a pill and much less have it confirm or debunk a possible pregnancy?

Please let me know as soon as possible whether or not to take these two pills! I don't know what else I can do! My parents cannot know and I don't want to have to abort! Thanks a million!

I have a very confusing situation. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. We both had partners before each other, but have always used condoms. Since we have been in this relationship for a year, and have both been tested for STIs, and I am on birth control, we have started to use condoms less. We use them when we remember but if its a spur the moment kind of thing, we don't worry about it.

Recently, my boyfriend approached me and said he has an STI (chlamydia) and I should get tested. I was mortified! I had just been tested two weeks before and everything came back negative. His previous testing had also been all negatives. I went back and was re-tested, and again the results came up negative (I was given a prescription just in case).

Neither of us have ever had sex without a condom before now. How is it possible that he suddenly developed an STI when both of us have tested negative before, and haven't been with anyone else? Could it be a misdiagnoses, or is it possible to get an STI another way? For example, having unprotected sex while the girl is on her period? Help!!

For the past few months my period hasn't been normal. I'll go weeks or sometimes a whole month without it. I am currently in a relatively new relationship (about 2 months now) and we've had sex a few times, but he pulls out right before. I know about the risk of pre-ejaculate and such, but how possible is it to get pregnant from it? Also, I want to start using condoms and while I feel comfortable with him, since we've never brought it up I am bit apprehensive about mentioning it. How can I tell him that if we're going to have sex we need to use condoms? I know it sounds simple and it should be, I'm probably just stressing out about bringing it up over nothing. The thing is that we're both pretty religious people and while I'm more than happy with our sex life, I didn't expect it wouldn't happen so soon. So, the dilemma is do I mention the condoms? Or should we quit having sex because of the way deep down we know we should live and behave. I'm not in anyway saying I don't "want" to have sex.. but I don't know if having sex is the best thing for us now. And if it isn't, how do I go about telling him when we've had sex a few times? (I know this is definitely a personal problem for me, but if you were in my position.. what do you think you'd do?)

Another quick one, in my last relationship that lasted 4 years, my boyfriend who was 27 and I would have sex, either vaginally or orally, and he could only become aroused and ejaculate once. With the person I am with now (who is 31) he'll get aroused and ejaculate and an hour later he's ready to go again. Is it just different in every person? Thanks so much for your time.

Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that?
And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.. What happened was that we hadn't seen each other for a year cos he'd moved and when I came to visit we made out. He wanted to go further and I didn't. When I refused to go down on him he spiked me drink and made me do it when I was drunk. Unprotected. (Had STI screening since then, which was all clear...) I just feel like I could've somehow done something. Like keep an eye on my drink or say no more forcefully or just plain fight him off. I don't really know how to deal with this... I hope you can help..

Also, I was talking to a male friend the other day and he thought that men should have an option to legally not be fathers in case of a pregnancy. Like not be obliged to pay for child care and not be a part of the kids life whatsoever. I thought that this was ridiculous, but couldn't come up with any sound reasons why I though so.. It was just a general feeling. If this discussion comes up again what can I say?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and 9 months. From the very beginning, I made it extremely clear that I was not ready for sex and not going to be for a long time, if not until marriage. He said he respected it, and we agreed not to pressure one another until we were completely comfortable with decisions we had both made as a couple. About 8 months into our relationship, we discussed our sexual boundaries and agreed that we were comfortable with dry humping. Kissing and some fondling was all that we had experienced before. Everything with that was fine, and I began to give him hand jobs about 3 months later, but it was very rare. He had no issues with that either, except for the fact that he wanted to return a similar amount of pleasure to me, but I explained I wasn't ready for that, and he claimed it was fine. In the summer we went to the beach, and it was the first time I'd been around him in that little of clothing, so I was already nervous. He didn't say anything reassuring, but he was all over me the entire time. By the end of the day, I felt used and disrespected since he had tried to pull my bottoms down a little while standing behind me, but I was not expecting it. That turned into our first major fight, and I eventually broke up with him because of it. (continued below)

What happens if the condom slips off???

I'm 15 years old and was sexually abused for two years in the past. How do I get over my intimacy issues?

The last boyfriend I had, anytime we were physically intimate, my chest would get really tight, I'd often start to shake, and I'd go into this blank zone where I'd just stare at the ceiling and my body would be completely unresponsive. It was really scary. Sometimes he would notice and ask me if I was alright, and I would just kind of nod numbly so I wouldn't disappoint him. Since that relationship, I've dated a little, but now it's gotten to the point where even kissing makes my stomach roil. I've had to stop seeing them so I wouldn't be put into a situation where they would try something physical. I cannot bear the thought of anything remotely sexual, and I feel like it's rapidly becoming an unstoppable downwards spiral.

I want to enjoy intimacy, not be terrified and repulsed by it. It's odd having my sisters gush over how good it feels when I just want to throw up. I feel really abnormal. I also feel like I'm never going to have a working relationship because what guy is going to want to be with a girl like me? It's frustrating, because I'm perfectly okay with all the other aspects of a relationship (of course I'd like to have someone to hang out with and cuddle with and all of that), but I'd just like it without the sex part.

What should I do? Is there any way I can fix this? I'm currently in therapy, but I still don't feel quite ready to open up and tell my therapist about my intimacy issues. It's easier this way. I hope you can help, I don't know what to do and I certainly don't want to get any worse!

I heard about a really good organization that helps girls who are pregnant and don't want an abortion. It's called Birthright. I have seen one in my town, but I can't find it on your site. Do you have any information about Birthright or stuff about the way the baby is developing so that we can find out more about our options?

I'm worried because I bleed after having sex. At first it was only a little bit, but now it's a lot!
I don't know what's wrong with me.

My gf is pregnant, I am not ready, what do I do?

There's this guy at work who keep hitting on me. At first it seemed like innocent flirting but it's gotten downright vulgar and creepy. He's 15 years older than me. I'd like to remain friends with him, if possible but he seems to think that when I turn 18 it will be okay that he says completely inappropriate things in the workplace. I'd rather not file a complaint but I will if I try everything you tell me and it doesn't stop. A friend also suggested that I drop his girlfriend a line through email letting her know what's going on. I think that would be kind of mean and may even make him violent. He's really pushy so it scares me a bit. I'd like to know how to convey to him to knock it off without hurting his feelings or getting anyone else involved.

Does precum contain enough sperm to get you pregnant if you have sex when its present? Also, if the guy pulls out and the cum gets all over your vagina and the a few minutes later he re-enters you, is that a pregnancy risk? My friends have told me that it's impossible, but I don't know. I'm scared, please help!

When flying on a plane back to New York I ended up sitting next to a man who had the wrong idea about me. He started out by complimenting me but the moment I lay down to sleep he started kissing me and feeling my breasts and ass sexually without my consent. This happened the day after I turned 18 and he made two very obvious attempts to engage me in something I wasn't into and didn't want. When I returned to my seat after a while the guy noticed that I was pissed and began talking to me about his reasons, one of which was that he asked for consent and that I gave it to him. I don't remember his asking or my consent partly because I was in a state of half asleep and listening to my ipod on maximum volume. The two of us had four seats to ourselves which I used to push him away from me after the fact, however throughout the rest of the flight and the last few days I have had a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I somehow told him it was okay even though it felt completely wrong and one sided.

I am in my early 20s and recently had to stop taking the contraceptive pill because of a medical reason. Now that I am medically ok again, I planned to re-start the pill at some point this week. However, me and my BF of 2 yrs got drunk last night at a party and stupidly had unprotected sex. I am too embarrassed to go to a doctor and ask for a Plan B pill I have heard that if I take two contraceptive pills now (or asap) then it acts in the same way a morning after pill does...is this true?

Hi Heather, I just found a question from 'samy-baby' concerning rape when performing a google search for something unrelated as it caught my eye. I'm afraid you appeared all too eager to label the bloke as unsafe and 'stay well away from him', given that the girl openly admitted within the first words of her sentence that she gets her boyfriend stupid-horny then says "no sex", that's just cruel, and I doubt many men would tolerate it. I've made it abundantly clear with my girlfriend that if she makes the effort to turn me into a horn-monster, she should finish through or I'm usually very pissed off; not to say that I'd go ahead and have sex with her anyway. All I'm saying is you failed to advise this girl that if she doesn't want to have sex, then she shouldn't get her boyfriend horny.

My girl friend says shes not had a period for 4 weeks now. She's been pregnant once before and says apart from when she was pregnant then her periods are regular. We have had unprotected sex for about 5 weeks but she climaxes before I ejaculate witch means I never ejaculated inside her (to be on the safe side, soon as we didn't have contraception). Before I see her I always shower and clean "everywhere," so I don't she how she could be pregnant. Even with this information she is still wondering if she is pregnant. Is there any other possible way she could be pregnant?

Me and my boyfriend have had unprotected sex about 3 times times within the last month, but I don't know the exact dates. I didn't know before that pre-cum had sperm in it, so I thought we were safe with the whole pregnancy issue if he just "pulled out," but when I read more about it, I realized I was wrong! The last time we had unprotected sex, he told me that got a little cum inside me, which really worried us both. It's been about two weeks since the last time we had unprotected sex and I have been having stomach aches and headaches and major mood swings and I have been peeing A LOT! I took two over-the-counter pregnancy tests and they both said negative, but I am worried that I may have taken the tests too early because my period is irregular (sometimes every few months) so I never know when it is going to be so I don't know if I have missed it yet or not. I am very worried. Could I be pregnant and how can I make sure? If I am pregnant, I'm gonna get an abortion. I live in Gillette Wyoming. Since I am 13 & my bf is 18 my mom told us we are not "allowed" to have sex, so if she found out she would press charges against him (which I don't want to happen) so I was wondering if there was any close places that I could get an abortion without telling my parents.

When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.

I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...

I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.

I'm a 18 year-old male. I was raped twice in my life (6 and 10 years old) and I took it pretty well. My life was quite normal until now, and had no problems with girls. I never had a girlfriend, never been the type who commit, but I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of girls. Two weeks ago I had contact with the man who attacked me when I was 10. Since then I've having nightmares and have been remembering all what happened. I've been drinking and went back to drugs. I wouldn't want to, but it's the only way I can get some rest. Last weekend happened something that really scared me. I was drunk and high and without noticing I found myself rubbing a guy's leg. I pretty much wanted to make out with him and other stuff. I can't become gay, it's not fear I hate myself so much, I hate the pervert who abused me, I hate everything right now. Yesterday I cut my wrists but it wasn't deep enough. I don't want to die but I find hard living right now. This evening I cut my face. What happened the weekend means I'm gay? Am I becoming gay? What can I do to prevent it? How can I stop remembering? It's just too embarrassing to talk to anybody. If I was a girl I could do it, but come on, I'm a man. Men don't let these things happen. I'm just trash.

If you have been raped by more than one person but as a result you never stay with a male in fear of becoming close to them and then you find a guy that you really like and you want to trust him but you just can't ... what should I do to make us a trusting couple?

I have a history of sexual abuse which I have just started working on in therapy--including repressed memories. I have never willingly engaged in sexual experiences and I am 25 years old. A few years ago, during an ER visit for extreme pain (kidney stones) I was given an internal exam which felt out of my control. In fact, seemed forced and I left feeling very violated. Now, I have never seen a gyn even though I am much overdue. I feel like I should for health reasons but I am terrified I will have flashbacks again if the doctor touches my vagina. How do I deal with this? It has impacted this and my ability to seek relationships because of fear of being touched vaginally.

My girlfriend is 17, and I am 19. We had unprotected sex a few days after she finished her period. I know its foolish to not use protection, however we both decided we didn't want anything in between us. I made certain that I didn't ejaculate inside her. She might be pregnant, but right now I'm really just looking at all the options. The state we live in, Virginia, requires one parent to be notified of a decision to get an abortion. However, in Washington D.C. there are no rules saying a minor has to contact or notify her parents or anything. I've read that it is illegal to transport or drive the minor across state lines to get an abortion. Is that true? If yes, could she drive the car and I be a passenger? Or follow her in my car? If she is pregnant, I know she wouldn't want to get her abortion alone... so what is the current laws on this? I have the money to pay for it!

I'm 17, and recently me and my boyfriend decided to have sex for the first time. My mum was out, but she came back early and we didn't hear her! She ended up walking in on us just before we were going to have sex. She went mad and started screaming at me, and it was a really bad situation. She really doesn't want me to have sex until I'm married. But I feel ready now, I don't want to wait! How can I make her see this? And also she's never going to trust me and him alone together now, how can I get around that?

Hi, I'm sixteen and about four months ago I was treated at the hospital for severe anemia due to over excessive menstruation. While I was there, I had to have a pelvic exam done, and I'm already really shy, and I've never been touched like that or even have had a boyfriend. So the doctor (who was a man) was about to do it, but I was so scared he had to physically spread my legs apart. Then he put the speculum in and did whatever, but he had to push through the hymen, and it hurt pretty badly. It seemed like he didn't care at all how I was doing, or anything. Now I cringe when people mention sex or anything like it because it reminds me of him and the pain and embarrassment. How am I ever going to trust a man enough again to let him get close, and how can I block this event out of my head?