I just stumbled across your wonderful site totally by accident and am really hoping you will be able to help me with a problem which is keeping me awake at night. I’ve been sexually active since I was 16. Since then, all of my male sexual partners have ejaculated during sex, but my current boyfriend is having a problem. This is affecting our sex life as I feel I must be doing something wrong. He has tried to reassure me he often hasn't been able to orgasm in the past with other partners and that he enjoys sex with me nonetheless - that he doesn’t have to come to be satisfied. But I don't fully enjoy myself knowing that he won't reach orgasm; it doesn't seem fair.
I know you recently answered a question in the same vein but I think my query is different as he is diabetic. I have recently heard that diabetes can affect sex and am wondering if this true. He doesn't seem aware of the connection and I don't want to mention it without getting the facts first. Please help me, I love him dearly and in all other aspects our relationship is fantastic...but it doesn't fell right for me to be getting all the sexual pleasure.
Later into our relationship my boyfriend and I (both 17) had a lot of disagreements over sex. He rarely was "in the mood" while I was often ready to go. When I talked to my friends, they just said he was gay for not wanting to do anything with me. Could there be some other reason why he doesn't want to do sexual things with me?
I was reading about the female anatomy on your website and you said that the clitoris was the part that would be the source of pleasure for the woman. If the most sensitive part of a woman's anatomy is on the outside, how can intercourse feel good? Also, I don't understand how intercourse would stimulate the clitoris. From the diagrams on your website, it seems to me that the clitoris is quite far from the viginal entry. How can a penis entering the virgina have any affect on the clitoris? Thank you for your response!
I'm 14. There is this guy I knew for a couple of years now. We are very good, close friends. As the months went by, we started to get sexually attracted to each other. About 2-3 weeks ago we had oral sex (I sucked his penis only). Now we want to do even more. We both want to actually have sex. I'm really attracted to him sexually. After sexual intercourse has occurred between the two of us, there's no way I can ever forget him. I will have to live my life knowing he was the one who took my virginity, and that's fine. But the only problem is...he feels that there is no need for a condom. He says "there is a feeling he gets that lets him know when the sperm is coming." Should I believe what he says is true or should I convince him that a condom is definately needed?
I couldn't get it up and I'm 19! It was going to be the first time for me and my girlfriend, but the man downstairs didn't respond! I didn't feel nervous, I felt confident that I would be fine. But when the mood struck I couldn't deliver. Now not only do I feel like crud, I'm hoping that the next time it happens that the little soldier downstairs decides to take some action... It felt like the most disappointing thing in my life. I was tired. If that is a factor, then maybe I just need a good nights sleep and another go at it? Any advice would be amazing.
Recently my girlfriend and I have become more sexually active. We've agreed not to have intercourse, but to do everything else. Along with our discussions came the issue of masturbation. We both do it, but she never achieves orgasm through it. She hates that I do it, although I've explained it is natural and healthy for guys and does not affect anything we do and does not make her less important. I do not know really how to approach the issue to make her feel better.
I get "NRB"s (no-reason boners) very often. Why do I get an erection when I'm not aroused?
I'm a 16 year-old male and me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 5 months. We have recently started having vaginal sex and were both a bit confused. We were both virgins so we have no prior knowledge of having sex. When we had intercourse she said that she was feeling pain when I put my penis in only an inch or so. We figured it was just since it was her 1st time. We tried again last night and she had the same problem. She was very upset and I did my best to comfort her. Is the pain normal? What can I do to let her enjoy sex? How is it supposed to feel for her?
Another problem was that she said that she felt and itchy irritation while I had my penis in her, and it itched her urinating the next day or 2. I was wearing a Trojan brand spermicide lubricated condom. Could she be allergic to the condoms we used? If so what she we try instead? Are the alternative condoms as efficient? Is there any other over the counter type of protection, other than a condom and spermicide, to protect against pregnancy? She refuses to take "the pill", is afraid of a morning after pill, and we can't go to a doctor to get something made for her to wear because if our parents discover we are having sex, than we wont ever see each other. PLEASE HELP!!!
Any help would be greatly appreciated, and would make both our lives much better!!!
My girlfriend is 17, and I am 19. We had unprotected sex a few days after she finished her period. I know its foolish to not use protection, however we both decided we didn't want anything in between us. I made certain that I didn't ejaculate inside her. She might be pregnant, but right now I'm really just looking at all the options. The state we live in, Virginia, requires one parent to be notified of a decision to get an abortion. However, in Washington D.C. there are no rules saying a minor has to contact or notify her parents or anything. I've read that it is illegal to transport or drive the minor across state lines to get an abortion. Is that true? If yes, could she drive the car and I be a passenger? Or follow her in my car? If she is pregnant, I know she wouldn't want to get her abortion alone... so what is the current laws on this? I have the money to pay for it!
Hi I'm 15 years old (male) and I want to wait till I find someone I really like before I have sex, but I want them to be a virgin too. I'm worried that if I wait too long all the pretty girls will have had sex and I won't be good at it yet, I'm worried that if they've already had sex that I won't be good enough for them, what should I do?
I lied to my boyfriend and told him I was raped. I know rape is nothing to joke about at all. My mother was raped as a child. But it is the first thing that came to mind! He's always trying to get me to have sex with him, and I'm just not ready. He's not the kind of guy you can just sit down with and explain that too..that's just not him and hes a virgin..but he does get "head" sometimes. (Not while I've been with him of course..] But anyway I told him I was raped and that I'm not ready to have sex after that happened to me and that it scares me because it will remind me of what happened. Well, that lie got old and now he's starting to ask me again and again. What do I tell him ? I'm stressing over this and hes not the kind of guy I can just say "I'm not ready to do this..or that" to. Please help. I'm young, only 14 and hes 15 but..what to do ?!
When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.
I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...
I know guys should ask for consent, but can you say some stuff about handling rejection? What about the times when she says no? This would be really helpful - because it's really hard not to take it personally - and that's probably the biggest reason guys don't ask, because they fear rejection.
I'm 18, female and my boyfriend and I had no previous sexual relationships. I've been engaging in intercourse about a month now, and I was wondering why I haven't orgasmed yet. I've been able to orgasm through masturbation but not with my boyfriend doing the work. What do you think is wrong? Is it normal? Or are we just too inexperienced? If so how do I tell my boyfriend about it?
I had this girlfriend and me and her always had unprotected sex and I was wondering why didn't I get her pregnant if I always ejaculated in her? This was like a 5 month thing that I had sex with her everyday and always ejaculated do you think that when I am ejaculating I'm shooting blanks cause I'm like really thinking about it. I'm 15 years old.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. I am 18, she is 17. I've been consistently fingering her/going down on her for several months now. Yet she has never taken the initiative as to go down on me, not even so much as with her hand. The only contact she seems able to handle with my penis is in sex, which we've tried to no avail (can't get it in). The fact that we can't have sex wouldn't bother me whatsoever if she went down on me every once and a while. What bothers me most is that she doesn't seem like she wants to get me off whatsoever. She seems literally terrified of my penis, though strangely OK with sex (I suspect this is because sex is pleasurable for her, too). Meanwhile, I am completely opposed to the idea of suggesting she go down on me, because I feel like she ought to want to anyway. Long story short, she seems perfectly attuned to receiving pleasure but not to giving it. What can I do?
Okay, here's my dilemma. I am 16 and sexually active. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We've used to have sex perfectly with no problems until about a couple of months ago. Now, I can't even get an erection and I don't ever feel horny anymore at all. I ask all my friends if they have this problem but they say no, they can get erections very quickly. I'm having a lot of trouble with this because I thought at this age teens are able to get it up quick and easy. I don't know if it's a testosterone problem or not but it's starting to wear on me. I'm in good shape, but I smoke a little bit. Basically, I've completely lost my sexual appetite. This isn't right. Someone help!
Hi I have had these small (2mm or less) bumps on my penis for a long time (at least 4 years) they are white or mainly the color of my skin, and go about half the way up my penis. They are much more visible when my penis is erect, and it seems like after a while hair sprouts out of these bumps. I have been doing some internet research and think they are Fordyce's spots. They don't hurt or itch or anything, it just embarrasses me. I would like to get rid of them, but talking about that with my parents would be hard. Before this year I had been masturbating with Vaseline, but this year I stopped using the Vaseline, and the appearance of these bumps seemed to be reduced, but they aren't gone totally. Please help!
I am a girl that has a past, I am still a virgin, but I know some things, but my current boyfriend is a complete virgin. I was even his first kiss. I am seventeen and can feel all these urges, and I want him to do something, make a move, or something....anything, but he never does. I talk to him about it, and all it seems to do is upset him.....what can I do?