Body Advice
I cannot insert anything into my vagina. What should I do?
I am 20 years old and I cannot insert anything into my vagina, not even a tampon. After a month of practice, I have managed to be able to insert a finger about halfway into my vaginal canal. After that I freak out because it's uncomfortable and I pull out very quickly, which hurts a bit.
I know I'm not the only one with this problem because one of my close friends has it too, but I haven't figured out what to do about it. I would really like to be able to have vaginal sex sometime in the future, if not exactly now, or at the very least be able to use tampons! I haven't figured out anything that works.
I am a straight girl, but wish I could be with a gay guy.
I am a girl, but I wish I was a gay boy. Let me start off by saying, I am a straight girl. I know for a fact that I'm not trans. I am a girl, I was born a girl and I don't think I was born in the wrong body. I am comfortable in my body. But recently I find myself looking up anything gay related on the internet. Gay love stories and short videos on youtube, most of my favourite couples on TV shows are usually the gay ones; and not girl on girl. For some reason; I don't like seeing girl on girl, but I love seeing guys together. I think it's more like I'm jealous of gay relationships. How can I be a straight girl who likes boys, but enjoy and sometimes envy gay relationships. I'm just a bit confused about myself is all. What does it mean? Why am I like this?
An Infection Getting Worse and Worse: Can I Just Wait it Out?
I am 15 and I just had sex for the first time last Friday. It was unprotected but he did not cum. The next morning I had pain. The pain continued through Saturday and Sunday. I thought the pain was from having sex for the first time, but it's now Monday and I realized stinging while I pee, cloudy with some blood in it too, in addition to constantly having to pee and never feeling empty. I have had chills, too. I am almost 100% positive I have a UTI, but there is no way I'm telling my mom and getting medical attention for it, she can't know I had sex. I've read into it in depth, and the more I read the more scared I get. I'm on a vitamin regimen and I am able to get a z-pack, which treats bacterial infections but I'm unsure if it'll help me. Will it? are there anything I can do besides drink water and wait it out? How long will it last untreated? HELP!
I need to better understand how condoms can protect me from STIs.
I'm unclear on how condoms are supposed to be effective in preventing female-to-male contamination during "plain" sex, I mean insertion of the penis into the vagina. Let me explain.
Latex is an effective barrier to virii and germs. I get that. As far as protecting the woman is concerned, I've no trouble believing it works. The STD virii or germs are present in the semen and/or pre-cum; these are "emprisoned" by the condom, don't get out, and don't get into contact with any part of the anatomy of the woman. She's protected. The sweat of the man does not contain these virii or germs and thus no risk with the rest of the skin-to-skin contact. But in the other direction, I don't quite get it.
My girlfriend says she loves me, but doesn't want to be sexual with me now that I'm transitioning.
I'm transgender. My girlfriend has supported me from the time we got together, celebrating my "transliness", even finding tips to help me transition easier. When I got my packer, she laughed at it and asked me to take it off. I felt humiliated, but did so. Ever since then, she begs me to take it off if we start to become intimate. (The term there is "if"; our intimacy has been on a steady decline ever since then.) Now that I'm on testosterone, she's shying away even more. It seems that being able to afford a decent quality binder has really halted anything. She's even refusing to kiss me more than once or lay against me. A few nights ago she said that something was bothering her and to not get offended. She admitted that she is a lesbian, and only got with me originally because I was female bodied. She says that she's fallen completely in love with me, but is no longer sexually attracted to me unless I take my packer and/or binder off. She coaxes the binder off by offering a back massage. (Seeing as I have pulled every muscle in my back and slipped 2 discs, I can't refuse.) I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm humiliated. She says that she will always love me, but is sexually frustrated. She doesn't want to leave me because she loves me, but would rather have sex with a girl. Any advice or..?
Did abortion make me unable to orgasm?
I had to go through an abortion at the age of 18 of a 20 week fetus. I had experienced orgasm just once in my life before the abortion. I have not experienced orgasm after my abortion through any sexual activity or masturbation. Have the abortion made me unorgasmic? I am getting married soon and I'm worried whether I'd be able to satisfy my partner, since I m doubtful whether my partner would have the same experience he used to have before abortion and whether I'd ever reach climax. Kindly help.
We Really Liked Anal Sex, But Should We Do It Again?
My boyfriend and I, both 18, are very comfortable with each other. We took things slow, somewhat due to my discomfort in the religious section and partly to make it more genuine. Skip forward a bit and we are delving into the world of sexual activity. I want to steer clear of PIV sex for pregnancy reasons and virginity reasons. But the other day we were exploring each others' bodies and before we knew it we were having anal sex. Thankfully my boyfriend used much lotion in the absence of lube and took it very slow. We both enjoyed it and were even able to switch positions once or twice with little to no difficulty. My question for the staff of Scarleteen is simply this, is there something I'm missing? From word of mouth anal is supposedly unpleasant, unsafe, and should be avoided; but my boyfriend and I really enjoyed ourselves. We want take a day and just explore the possibilities but is there such thing as too much or things that I should be wary about before we even consider more anal sex? Thanks.
Does an orgasm by any other name still feel as sweet?
Is cumming and having an orgasm the same thing? I'm a virgin. So I've never had sex. I just masturbate often. When I rub my clit for a while I get this amazing feeling and I can tell I squirt something out. After that, I get tired and stop. I can make myself do this multiple times and I consider that cumming. Is it an orgasm though? Is that how it's going to feel when I have sex?
Of Bums and Bellies: When Body Image is Down and Out, Should Sex Be Up and Running?
My boyfriend and I have recently discussed trying anal for the first time together. I'm perfectly happy to try it apart from a few concerns, most of which I've found answers and explanations to in response to questions already asked by other users. But there's one issue I've not come across: it's quite personal and frankly I've never spoken to anyone about it, ever, not even my partner. I know that pubic hair grows to quite far down past the vagina, but I seem to have quite a lot of hair around my anus. It's something I've tried getting rid of by shaving but I can't reach it all. I've never waxed, but I'm considering it because I wouldn't want to have a hairy bum while trying anal. I don't know if anyone else has this or if it's even safe to wax around there, but I'd really like a solution because then I think I'd be more comfortable not only about anal sex but also about my body image anyway.
It feels like I have to pee during sex. Do I have a problem?
I know this is a silly question, and I've read quite a few things... but I'm still not sure what exactly I was experiencing when I was having sex the other day.
In all honesty, it felt like I was about to pee myself. it happened quite a few times too. I think it might've been leading to an orgasm (which I've never had before) but it felt like I needed to pee so I had to stop doing whatever I was doing. Can someone tell me what it is? Do I have a problem?
Is my boyfriend's penis sensitivity normal, and what is a refractory period?
My boyfriend's penis gets very sensitive after ejaculation. I've looked everywhere and all I found some information about a refractory period but I don't really understand what that means. Is his sensitivity, and maybe even pain, normal?
Oral sex doesn't affect me. Is this normal?
When my boyfriend preforms oral sex on me and "eats me out" it's like it has no affect on me. Is this normal? I mean, he's down THERE... using his mouth... shouldn't that affect me? It's almost as if I just don't feel it either. Sometimes I exaggerate my motives a bit when he does just to make him feel a bit better. It's not that I don't WANT him to. And I don't want him to stop. I just... don't feel like it's anything. And it makes me feel bad.
Quick Hits: Yet More Kinds of No
I was wondering, can a doctor tell if you've masturbated? And in the case they can, is it possible to mistake it for being sexually active? I'm asking because I have a lot of health problems and I have to see an OB/GYN soon, which means that there's a chance the doctor will check to see if my vagina looks right. And I'm really scared because I don't want them to think that I'm sexually active, which with my health, would probably cause them to talk to my parents. And I'm just to shy to stick up for myself, so I really don't want that to happen. Thanks in advance for your answer.
I have a strong hormonal cycle and it's affecting my relationship.
Thanks so much for such a useful and honest site, it's a big help figuring this stuff out. I am 19 and in my first serious relationship. I seem to have a strong hormonal cycle, my body changes a lot from week to week. I have tried my best to explain this to my boyfriend, but he doesn't understand how things that feel good to me one day might not feel like anything, or hurt me, the next. For instance, he likes to squeeze and massage my breasts - sometimes I love this, but sometimes (usually before my period is due) it hurts so much I have to ask him to stop. Also, I'm usually really wet, but for a week or so after my period sometimes I don't really get wet no matter how turned on I am. He thinks I'm confused about what I like, or that if I say something hurts or I don't get wet it means he's doing something wrong or I'm not actually turned on or enjoying myself even when I am. It frustrates him that he has to ask if something feels good every time we do stuff together. Is there anything I can get him to read that might explain why this happens better than I can or in a way that he'll understand? Also, some women in my family have had problems with combined birth control pills and my doctor says I shouldn't take them, but if I took the mini pill would this stop happening so much?
Our sexual partners can't read our minds. The good news is, they don't have to.
I've been with my boyfriend for around 7 months now, and I love him to bits! We get on so well, but when it comes to sex, I'm really let down. I lost my virginity to him when we first started going out. Being new to it, I was learning and exploring, but after months of the same thing I'm really dismayed. He always comes really soon - not prematurely - but soon enough its over before I've realised its begun! He only can go for a while if he moves slow, which is boring. Also, like most girls I can't orgasm through actual penetration easily, so I'd have to rely on oral sex for stimulation, but he never makes the effort... I always go down on him and hope he returns the favour but he never does. He does care and tries to make sex good, but when I tell him I can "come in other ways" he never takes the hint and never goes down on me. I don't like to ask him directly as I'm self conscious of the situation, and I don't want to offend. I love him so much but please help! It's really putting me off sex :(
I'm 25: shouldn't I have been ready for sex?
I am 25. I am a virgin. I went on this date with this guy. We were trying to have sex. He didn't put his penis inside of me. I was in pain. I panicked. I told him , I am not ready. I don't know him very well. I did not want to sleep with him. I was freaked out. He told me, you are 25. You should be ready. My friend told me to purchase a vibrator that will help me be more comfortable with sex. Do you think I need more foreplay? Is there something wrong with me? Is there a way I can make the experience better for me?
The I-Don't-Want-to-Use-Lube Blues
Ever since I lost my virginity I haven't been able to get very wet. Tightness is not a problem, but my boyfriend keeps complaining that I won't get wet and we have to work over and over again just to get him inside. I don't like using lubes so is there a reason it's like this? I'm on birth control pills so I think that may be it but what can I do to get wetter without using lubes?
If you didn't ask for it? Then you didn't ask for it.
I'm an 18 year old virgin. A few months back, I was out clubbing with a friend, and she wanted me to make-out with a guy, because she does it all the time when we go clubbing. I started dancing with a guy, and we started kissing, which I DID want to do. But then he started putting his hand up my skirt, and then in my underwear. I kept pushing his hand away and telling him to stop and he kept putting it back. I managed to escape and didn't see him again, but I feel kind of violated, as he was touching me sexually. Is this my fault? I did want to kiss him, but I said not when he put his hand down my pants. Was this wrong, or was I asking for it, and is it just something that happens?
He's ready, but I'm conflicted.
My boyfriend thinks I should try masturbating before we have sex. It just doesn't feel right to me. I want to be with him and just have him hold me. It's not about just having an orgasm. I don't know how to make him understand this?
Also, my boyfriend wants to have sex. My body feels like it is ready but my brain is saying I should wait. Is 16 too young? I'm afraid he doesn't really love me. I want him to be committed, how should I tell him this?
How do you avoid getting pregnant after giving a handjob or oral sex?
Assuming you are a woman, (and if you are not please ask one to answer this) what did you do when you were a teen to avoid getting pregnant after giving a handjob or giving oral? What steps did you take?
I wash my hands a lot before using the restroom since I know I'll be wiping myself down there and I don't want there to be any sperm on the toilet paper or I don't want to accidentally touch my vagina while I'm down there.
But the thing is that when I washed them I realized that there could be sperm still living on the soap or living in the water on the container that holds the soap (forgot what it was called) or on the towel if I didn't get them all off the last time I washed them if I washed my hands just a little while ago due to the same reason.
Is this a semen allergy?
I'm seventeen. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for five months. We always used condoms, and sex was great. We used lube and had tons of foreplay. No complaints. About a month ago, I went on the pill, and suddenly that all changed. The sex itself was better then ever. But after he comes in me, it burns the inside of my vagina like crazy. It only happens when he comes in me. Other things, like fingering or oral, don't hurt me at all. It's JUST when he comes in me.
The pain starts the second he comes, and lasts 15 to 20 minutes. I normally run to the bathroom right after sex, and get as much of the come out as I can, but that doesn't seem to change anything. We still have tons of foreplay, but that doesn't help either. It's making me dread sex because of the pain afterward, and he hates seeing me in so much pain. Is this a sperm allergy? Would douching after sex help? Is there anything I can do about it?
How can I masturbate without my parents knowing?
This may sound silly but I'm a 15 year old girl I want to masturbate without my parents knowing. The only opportunity I get is at night in my room, but I'm afraid because I don't want my parents to hear me or anything. Hopefully I won't make noise. Also, I'm worried that if I ejaculate (I think females can) it will stain my sheets or something, and I can't have my parents see that. Will ejaculation fluid stain permanently? What can I do to be able to masturbate, but keep my parents from finding out? I feel that masturbation should be private and not a family matter, so I just need to know how to keep it to myself. Thanks!
After orgasm
After I climax I feel tingly all over. It's like I'm paralyzed, especially in my hands and arms. I can barely move and it takes me a couple of minutes to calm down and perform regular tasks like getting dressed...is this normal?
My boyfriend wants naked pictures of me: should I do it?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months. I'm 17 and he's 22. Everything is going great! We never really fight and my family likes him, too, which is rare. Only problem is he travels a lot for work, he will be gone for 2 weeks at at time. I don't mind, but he asked me to help make his trip better...he wanted me to take nude pictures of myself. I said I would but only because I do love and care about him a lot and thought it would be good for the both of us. But I HATE pictures as it is...I tried to take them for him but I HATE every picture I take and it makes me feel even more self-conscious than I do already. I would rather walk around naked for him all day then take pictures of myself. I know it sounds stupid, but it's just really hard for me. I trust him and know he wouldn't do anything with those pictures but it's hard explaining to him why I don't like pictures, he doesn't get it...should I just suck it up and take em?
I feel dirty and irresponsible because of genital herpes
I'm 20 and have been with my partner for about two and a half years. We have a great relationship and are happy together. However, two years ago, when we first started sleeping together, I contracted genital herpes, even though we used condoms. I was a virgin before I slept with him so I knew it had come from him. I was angry and upset but he kept telling me he had tested clean at his last STI check and couldn't understand that he must have it. When we went to the GUM clinic (together) they confirmed that I had herpes but told me that they don't test for herpes unless there are symptoms present. Therefore when my boyfriend had his previous check-up (symptom free) he tested clean for everything they test for and then went on to sleep with me. My boyfriend was upset that I was blaming him and was tested again for everything they test for to prove to me he wasn't lying when he told me he was clean. He was negative for everything they tested him for....except like last time, they didn't test for Herpes and told him they didn't test for it unless there were symptoms, which there wasn't. He says he doesn't remember ever having symptoms hence why he's never had a physical check for it. I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong, and neither did my boyfriend, but I feel so bad about myself. I feel like I should have done something before we slept together, but I don't know what. I asked him to make sure he was clean: he did. We had no idea that they didn't do standard tests for herpes.
How do I stop feeling dirty and like I was irresponsible?
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