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Questions and Answers

How long can I put off reproductive health exams?

smartblonde asks:

I am a 22 year old female, but I have never had a breast and pelvic exam. I know what happens (I've read your articles as well as other websites), and I'm terrified. I don't like people touching me in general (people sitting right next to me, my parents putting a hand on my shoulder), and the only person who can touch me is my long-term (over 1.5 year) boyfriend. I've discussed this fear with my doctor. I'm also a very private and am not comfortable being around others if I'm not fully clothed, even changing my shirt with my roommate in the room - another problem I have with prospect of the exam.

My boyfriend and I have recently decided we'd like to have sex, so I've gotten a prescription for the birth control pill. However, the doctor said she will not prescribe it year after year without doing a regular breast/pelvic exam; she hopes that after I've been having sex for a while I'll become more comfortable with the idea of the exam, but I'm not. I understand why I should have this exam, so I've even tried just scheduling one to force myself to do it. Unfortunately, after a few hours I began to panic and didn't calm until I cancelled the exam. There is no history of breast cancer or any sort of reproductive problem in my family, and I do a monthly breast exam on myself. How long can I safely put off the breast/pelvic exam from the doctor? My boyfriend will come with me, and the doctor said she can give me anti-anxiety medicine, but I'm still worried even if I go through with it I'll become depressed afterward (I have struggled with depression before). Even though these things would help, I'm still terrified, and I begin to panic whenever I think of it. I know I should have had an exam already, but I'd like to know how much longer I can safely delay it.

Is sex supposed to hurt?

funkgurl asks:

I just lost my virginity more than a week ago. Everytime me and my BF have sex it always hurts, usually a few hours after doing it I start to bleed. I've asked my friends if thats normal but they don't know. Is that normal? I also wanted to asked why I haven't been feeling any pleasure yet? Is that bad? I would like it if you would please answer my questions I don't know where else to go and ask.

Sex today, period the next -- still pregnant?

Maryann asks:

My boyfriend and I had sex last night around 11pm, and he said that he believes he came a little inside me. I didn't felt anything inside me when he took it out. Now I am kind of worried not knowing if I can possibly be pregnant or not. Today, around 4pm I just have my period. Now my concern is how long can the sperms take for a woman to become pregnant? Can there still be a possibility for me to be pregnant after my period the following day?

Delayed ejaculation -- what does our future hold?

Cowgirl922 asks:

My boyfriend has delayed ejaculation. I was wondering what I could do to help and what this means for us as a couple? Also in the future are there ways of me getting pregnant if he still has this?

Will he love me again if we have sex?

Anonymous asks:

Hello. my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and are on the verge of separating. The reason mainly being is that we have not had sex and therefore his feelings did not evolve and he fell out of love with me. But now I am ready to have sex and I am really in love with him. The only problem is that he wants to date other people. My question is that if we have intercourse (we both love each other...his love for me now is not romantic) is there a chance of saving our relationship? I know sex is different for men and women. Is there a chance that he might feel the spark again and might even start falling in love with me?

Can you transmit chlamydia from one part of your body to another with the same partner?

Anonymous asks:

I'm in a monogamous relationship. can you still get Chlamydia by having anal sex then go back to vaginal sex without washing in between?

Could rubbing my vulva with his penis have gotten me pregnant?

anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I had sex and after he finished the condom slipped and was still inside me but not completely (an inch of the opening didn't go in so I didn't panic all that much). He put his penis back in his briefs for about 3-5 minutes and I took it back out to rub against my clit for 2 minutes. I didn't put it inside or on the vagina opening but just on the surface and sides of the clitoris area. Would this put me at risk for pregnancy?

It's been almost a week and there are no signs of symptoms except that I was supposed to have my period about a week ago. Now I'm noticing an odd odor from vaginal discharge. So far I'm not bloated or show any signs of having my period soon. Please help, thank you.

I can't orgasm from intercourse and it's ruining my relationship!

anonymous asks:

A friend of mine referred me to this website to sort out some of my complications that arise during sex. I am 17 and have been sexually active for probably the past 6 months but not once have I reached an orgasm. I have no idea what is wrong with me and I am desperate to find out because it is destroying mine and my boyfriend's sex lives. I can orgasm through clitoral stimulation but that is it and I do not know what else I can do. Please help me because I don't know what is wrong with me.

Big divides in highly age-disparate relationship

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 months. We are very compatible in terms of interests and values (the outdoors, conservation of resources, frugal living, healthy eating, etc). I am 22 and he is 60. Both of us have had sex with only one other person in our lives--me, my ex-boyfriend and him, his ex-wife.

He wants more sex than me. Big surprise. He's a man. I understand that. I enjoy sex when we have it (1-2 times a week), but I don't want to push myself to have it when I'm not in the mood. My boyfriend is very understanding intellectually, but his body wants much more. We've been talking about this quite a bit, and the fact that he is willing to talk tells me he is a good man. I don't want any strife over this, so I was wondering if you knew of any coping strategies that might work to help us compromise.

On a deeper level, he acknowledges that he uses time with me as an escape from his worries, whereas I tend to bring my worries into the time we have (I'm a student, so I have to do homework on weekends, for example. I can't just forget about work.) He tends to be very goofy, knocking me onto the bed, tickling me, etc., and it gets tiring responding to this. He says, "I'm sorry I like you more than you like me." How am I supposed to respond to that? DUDE! He's old and I was knocked flat with desire the week I met him! I pursued him because I couldn't imagine letting him slip through my fingers.

He says he wants to live with me, and get married. I don't think that's a good idea if he uses my company to escape his troubles--we won't get through anything if he keeps using my company as an escape. Understand that he is a decent, principled man; he married the girl he got pregnant 40 years ago and stayed with her to raise the child. Consequently, he wants to be understanding of my needs and is compulsive about birth control. We simply have a conflict due to our respective sexes and sex drives. I wonder what we can do.

I orgasm during massage: am I alone in that?

ali asks:

I have looked extensively across the internet and can't find an answer to my bizarre situation. Almost every time I have a massage I orgasm. It seems to happen the most when they work on the lower part of my back. It is often unpredictable, occurring when I least expect it and am not even aroused. It doesn't matter when my masseusse is male or female either, it just happens.

They aren't necessarily intense orgasms, rather mini ones, but I've sometimes had up to 4 or 5 during a massage.
It has never happened with a friend or partner massaging me either, nothing even close. What is so peculiar about it is that I do not achieve orgasm easily when it comes to oral sex or masturbation. It is achievable, but I have never in my life orgasmed during intercourse and have often had even the most dedicated partners wanna give up trying. I myself put this down to medications, anatomical design and most likely having a few sex issues so am mentally unable to let go.
Can you tell me if i am alone in this? It bothers me in that I almost feel guilty getting a massage as if I was paying for sex, but I really enjoy my massages, orgasm excluded. Thanks for any advice you may be able to offer.

Will birth control pills regulate my periods?

rinny627 asks:

I've been off of the pill since June. I've been irregular. I just moved and now I'm not getting my period. My last period was for 2 days in September. I'm not pregnant either. I now have birth control pills to take. When should I take them and will it make a difference?

Why doesn't he like that I get wet?

chelcie asks:

Neither my boyfriend or I have engaged in sexual intercourse, with each other of someone else, but we do fool around quite a bit. We both perform oral sex on each other, but he says he doesn't like performing on me once I get wet. He tries his hardest to please me with his fingers but I think a full oral sexual experience would feel so much better. Why does he dislike this and how can we improve the experience for him?

When women orgasm, where does it come out from?

Confused and Uninformed asks:

Hi, I've been looking around some sites for a while and haven't found any information on what I'm looking for and maybe that's because it's so obvious, but the more I look up information the more confused I get.

When a woman orgasms, where exactly does it come out? And do you need to lose your virginity before you can come? Some sites referred to the clitoris as a gland, which made me wonder if it came out there, but that didn't seem likely... so as you can see, my research hasn't helped and now I'm just outright asking. Thanks for your time and sorry if this is really a stupid question.

Manual sex + pre-ejaculate = real pregnancy risk?

Lucy asks:

I'm 17 and my boyfriend (16) and I have been dating for 2 years. We have decided to not have intercourse, but we do have manual sex sometimes. The last time we fooled around was about 2 1/2 to 3 weeks ago. I had my period last week, and it was on time, but only red blood for 2 days; then it was pinkish brownish stuff. Today and yesterday I've been peeing nonstop. My boyfriend doesn't think he pre-cums, ever, but I did feel something at the tip of his penis--was it urine maybe? I'm worried that maybe he had pre-cum on his fingers when he touched me (he went in pretty deep) or that I touched myself with it using the bathroom. I'm really worried that I'm pregnant; please help.

Is intercourse a pregnancy risk if he's not completely erect?

Lauren asks:

About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend and I were messing around and wanted to have sex but he wasn't fully erect. He did however enter me and proceed to have sex. We did not use a condom. Three days later I had sex with him and used a condom. I've been stressed out since the incident and my period has not arrived. It usually comes every 2 weeks and 5 days and today is the sixth day. Could I be pregnant or is my cycle going to be off because of the stress?

What size are "normal" labia?

Amber asks:

hello, my name is amber and i have a larger than normal labia but is their any thing i can do to make it smaller other than surgery?

Can you continue having sex after ejaculation while using a condom if the condom doesn't break?

Anon asks:

If you continue having sex after ejaculation while using a condom but the condom doesn't break and there is hardly any semen in the condom what are the chances of pregnancy? Could the semen have seeped out? Is this likely???

What exactly is a "rim job?"

anonymous asks:

I was wondering if you could tell me what exactly is a "rim job?" Thanks!

How many times can you have sex until you get pregnant?

brittany asks:

How many times can you have sex until you get pregnant?

Is it unhealthy for me to swallow his sperm?

Lucy, 18 asks:

My boyfriend and I have been giving each other oral sex for a while now, but I have just started giving him blowjobs. Is it unhealthy for me to swallow his sperm? Will I get any illnesses from this?

Vaginal to anal to vaginal again, is this dangerous?

spike asks:

I'm a nearly 16 year old woman who needs help...A while ago and recently, my boyfriend fingered me vaginal to anal to vaginal, but not sex. I've recently read that you can get serious vaginal infections from passing bacteria from the anus to the vagina. Am I OK to leave it be because it wasn't sex, or should I still get it checked out, just to be on the safe side?

First-time sex with a friend: is that wrong?

Elizabeth asks:

Hi. I'm 18 years old (female) and I've been talking about having sex with a guy friend of mine. I'm very inexperienced and so I'm pretty nervous about this. I don't want to do it and then regret it later. So I have couple questions i was hoping you could help me out with. First of all, if it's going to be my first time but not his should i have him get a STI test(and should i get one)? I feel a bit awkward asking him to because we're not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship - if you have any ideas on how i could bring this up to him that would be great. I don't think he has an STI or anything but obviously i can't be sure. Secondly, since I'm inexperienced in the sex department and I'm a naturally shy person anyway how can i make myself more comfortable during any kind of sex? Thirdly, am I going to bleed all over the place since it is going to be my first time? On your site you have said that the bleeding is pretty light buy I am just wondering. Lastly, is it wrong to have sex with someone you're not in a relationship with? I feel comfortable with him and I know if we had sex it would be because we both wanted to - not because anyone was feeling pressure. Thanks so much for answering my questions! I really love your site - it has such great information!

Can sex be a way of saying I love you?

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are both virgins. We have talked about sex and decided we are ready for it. Can sex be a way of saying "I love you"? How? What makes it such?

Why do girls bleed after or before intercourse is over?

nancy p asks:

I want to know why girls bleed after or before intercourse is over?

I stopped masturbating, so am I a virgin?

M asks:

I'm a 13-and-a-half-year-old male, and I masturbated around 6 times, and when I start to ejaculate I stop. I do not masturbate anymore. I just want to know if I am still a virgin. So am I still a virgin? Please answer for me. I'll appreciate it.

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