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Questions and Answers

Quick Hits: Questions and Answers on The Pill

Aishte asks:

Once you take your first pill, when do you think you can have sex?

She's pregnant: what now?

John K. asks:

My girlfriend and I are very careful when doing sex. Apparently, not careful enough. She got pregnant. I used a condom and she said she was on a pill, what happened? And what do I do now?

Can a guy be just as attracted to a fat girl as a "hot" girl?

Ash asks:

I am 21 and very pretty, but also very overweight. Close to 200lbs. I don't look TOO bad as my weight is well proportioned, very large hips, bottom and bust, but smaller waist and relatively slim face. Recently a guy has expressed a serious romantic interest in me. I know that he is usually attracted to much smaller girls and I find it very difficult to believe that he could really be attracted to me. Is it possible, for a guy who could very easily get a very "hot" girl, to be attracted to a pretty girl who is very fat?

Can my boyfriend catch HPV from me through oral sex?

Maricela asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time, and I just found out that I have HPV. I told my boyfriend that I had it as soon as I found out and now he is acting really weird. Now, he doesn't want to give me oral because he is afraid that he may get it. I went to the doctor and asked if he could get it, and she said that as long as we are careful he shouldn't have anything to worry about. When I told him the news he did not believe me! He still will not give me oral even though it has been a couple of months. I am really frustrated!

Female Ejaculation and Partnered Sex?

Minnie asks:

I searched this site after having a weird experience while masturbating, which I have now come to realize is female ejaculation. The thing is I absolutely hate the feeling that goes along with that, so I have since stopped masturbating to avoid it happening again. However I currently have a partner and we are beginning to consider becoming sexually active (we know how to protect ourselves, and are above the age of consent in our area no worries) however I was wondering if there is anything I can do to avoid female ejaculation while being stimulated by my partner. I find it to be pretty gross, though I have talked to my partner about it I am unsure as to whether or not he is ok with it. Any help you could give would be appreciated. Thank you.

So When Are We Really Ready?

M3ggy asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months. We are 15 and for the past week we have been talking about having sex. I have thought about it so much. We both really want to, but I am scared because I don’t know how to do it, I don’t want to get pregnant, etc. My friends are telling me to do different things: some say follow your heart; others say I'm being irresponsible and immature. I really feel like I'm ready and I love, care, respect, and trust my boyfriend so much but I feel like I'm being influenced by my friends. I don’t know what to do, help?!

Quick Hits: Twenty-One Kinds of No

Anonymous asks:

Does anal sex make your hips and bottom larger?

How can I make my orgasms last longer?

Sally asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex along with oral sex for a while now. I find it most pleasurable during oral sex when he uses his tongue on my clitoris. Is there any way in which I can make the orgasm last longer?

I've been faking, but I just don't want to tell him.

Anonymous asks:

I'm seventeen years old and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for the year that we have been together. I have faked orgasm almost every time we have had intercourse. I have read your site and read the dialogue you have provided on how to come clean about this form of dishonesty. However, I feel that at this point I am not sure the best thing to do is come clean. I would like your thoughts on what sort of dialogue I should be having with my boyfriend concerning different things we can do so that I can achieve orgasm, without hurting his feelings. Do you think it's healthy to not tell him at all and move on towards a healthier relationship?

Will hell freeze over before I reach orgasm?

Anonymous asks:

Hello, I have browsed your web page and didn't exactly find what I was looking for so I am wondering if you could answer my question. Yes, it is orgasm related. You see I have been sexually active for a long time. I am 17 and I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He was a virgin when he met me but I wasn't.

The problem with me is: I have never had an orgasm. I know what you are going to say. "Not all women have an orgasm during intercourse." I get that, but I never had an orgasm during masturbation, or foreplay. Nothing. And now I am kind of pressuring myself to go. Well, not exactly pressuring myself, but in my mind I go: "Yes, right there, omg I am gonna come." When in truth, I am nowhere close. My brain might have just been sexually turned on to the max at that point, but I just don't go.

Antibiotics, birth control, and an early period

confused asks:

I have been on Amoxicillin for about 2 weeks now. I finished my prescription a few days ago and now my period is 2 weeks early. I am on birth control and I know antibiotics can interfere with it, but I was just wondering if maybe they caused my period to be early like that. Should I be worried something is wrong? Thanks in advance for the help!!

Negative pregnancy tests, but where's my period?

tiinks asks:

I haven't had my period for two months now (the last time I had my period was March 16). My b.f. and I fooled around but nothing happened, if you know what I mean. I then took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. At the end of April, I went to the pediatrician and they did a pregnancy test too (I don't know if they did it by blood or by urine). All the tests came out negative, but my period hasn't come yet and I just want to know what it could possibly be! I feel like I'm going to get my period, yet it just wont come. PLEASE HELP!

Why does my boyfriend watch transsexual porn?

Anonymous asks:

I am so confused about why my boyfriend is looking at shemale porn. It has torn my heart out and has caused us to split. I cannot stomach the thought of touching him thinking that he may be gay or bi. I have gone over and over in my mind about what this infatuation is. I am wondering also if it could be a fetish because he was born with one testicle and feels like a freak himself? I am sick over this.

Is it possible my Chlamydia was not fully treated three years ago?

bri_t03 asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we have 2 children together. When I found out I was pregnant with our first child I also found out I had Chlamydia. I got treated and so did he. Just last week I got my yearly check up and I have Chlamydia again! I have been completely faithful to my boyfriend and he said he has been completely faithful to me. I do believe him! Is it possible either my boyfriend or I was not fully treated three years ago? How could I have gotten infected again?

How do I know my pill is working?

Anonymous asks:

Hi. I've actually never had intercourse before, but my gynecologist suggested that I begin taking birth control pills about 2 months before my wedding date to make sure that everything is on the up and up with them (& that I wouldn't have any adverse reactions to them). So far I've been taking them around the same time (anywhere between 6:00 and 6:45am) for about 5 and a half weeks and I've noticed no real side effects or anything. The first 3 days I had a headache, but that's about it. The wedding is in 24 days. How do I know that these birth control pills are actually working inside of me? I guess I'm kinda nervous, and was wondering if there are any for sure ways to tell that the pills are running their course? Thank you.

Depression has sapped my libido: will it ruin my relationship?

Emma asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two and a half years. We used to have sex a lot (meaning a couple times a week and seeing as we could only see each other on the weekends, that wasn't too shabby). However, I've been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety problems that have been making it hard for me to feel like having sex. This has been going on for a couple months and in that time we've had sex twice. I miss being with him and I know he misses it too. I don't want this to tear us apart. He's been there for me through all of these mental health problems and is definitely there for me during this rough sexual patch but I want that old spark back. What should I do?

Am I too young to think I'm gay?

Anonymous asks:

I've only just turned 14. Am I too young to think I might be gay? Or is it just hormones playing with my emotions? If I am really gay, is it bad or stupid cause I'm so young?

In the shadow of my sister.

Laura asks:

I feel like I'm always in my sisters shadow, and it's driving me nuts! I'm really happy the way I am, and I wouldn't change it, but whenever I'm around people I know, and she's there, I'm always second best. When I mean "people I know" it goes down to friends, boys, everyone who we're acquainted with! I know VERY well that I don't need a boy, but it feels nice to have attention sometimes. Maybe it's because me and my sister are very close in everything we do.

My sister also is a very thin individual, and weighs less than me, even if she is older and taller. I sometimes feel some pressure from her and my friends because I am more careful of what I eat. I am very curvy (it's my body type), and the rest of the people I know are very thin. Their constant nagging drives me crazy, and beside them I feel like a big lumbering pig, even if I am the average weight for an adult my height. I am very happy with my weight and body/breast size, but this is really getting annoying. Thanks for listening.

How can I stop being afraid to touch him because I don't know what the heck I'm doing?

jediskye asks:

Hi, I am 19 years old, and I've been with my boyfriend for about two months now. He's my first proper relationship and I was also a virgin before I had sex with him. My problem is that I am too shy to initiate sex, and I am almost at the point of tearing my hair out because I am getting so frustrated about it. I am comfortable around him, and I love having sex with him, but I just can't bring myself to touch him, every time I'm about to touch him there I stop and wonder whether he'll enjoy it.

He is way more experienced than me, and I have never stroked a guy's penis before or given them a blowjob. I just don't want him to feel nothing when I'm touching him. Is there any way I can overcome this? And could you give me some tips on how I could turn him on without feeling like an idiot?

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

My best friend was raped: what can I do for her?

Suze asks:

First off, thank you for this site. It's wonderful. Now, I'm a just-graduated senior, and my best friend went with a big group to Florida for their senior trip. She called me wasted and crying, upset and saying that this guy I'll call E wanted to have sex with her, she told him no, and he did it anyway. His side of the story was that she didn't protest. Sounds like rape, right? But she's known for teasing guys, and people might not believe her. And they liked each other a while back--E never displayed any signs of being likely to take advantage of someone.

I have no idea how to handle this situation because there's so much gray area. How can I help my best friend?

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

He only wants sex with me after watching pornography.

Maggie asks:

My question is my husband watches other girls get off on cam. I don't like it and he has been told but he still does it. He doesn't seem interested in me until after he has watched them. He pays no attention to me and when he is in the mood it's like after he's watched the other girls and I feel like I have to give it to him because I feel I have to. I guess it's fear of him going out and getting it from someone in person rather then me but I am tired of feeling like I have to and I'm tired of being put on the back burner. I need help as to what to do or how to deal with this.

Breastfeeding questions

Curious Female asks:

My boyfriend's sister and I are pretty good friends, so we're pretty open with each other. She has a four year old daughter and a one year old baby that she is breastfeeding. I have a few questions about that. 1) She said she doesn't get her period because she's breastfeeding. Why is that? 2) Are her nipples ever going to be normal again? I know that when a woman breastfeeds the nipples tend to look like bottle tips. 3) Should she have stopped breastfeeding her baby by now? He's almost 13 months. Thanks for reading!

How do you know you've had an orgasm?

Abi asks:

This is going to sound stupid but I have a question and its simply this: how do you know when you've orgasmed? I had my first time to other night with a guy I love very much but when he asked me if I came I didn't know. I have no experience at sex at all.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.