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What's causing that pain when he's fingering me?

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rebecca asks:

My boyfriend fingered me for the first time, and at first it kind of hurt. I want to know what was causing that to happen, and what we could do next time for it to feel better.

Susie replies:

Fingernails, however short they may look, are remarkably sharp. That pain you were experiencing was likely chafing or scraping. This can be avoided if he keeps his nails trimmed, covers them with either latex gloves of finger cots (they're like condoms for your fingers -- sold at drug stores and pharmacies), and some water-based lube.

KY Jelly or Liquid are fine for manual stimulation. Other good brands include Astroglide, Wet, ID, Liquid Silk. Just make sure that you use something that is not oil-based. The label should say "condom compatible" or "safe for use with latex condoms."

Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To has more info on how to avoid getting scratched up and hurt during fingering.

written 23 Jan 2008 . updated 23 Jan 2008

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