Advice

Anonymous asks:
Lately I've noticed my sex drive has kicked up a lot. For a few years I was sexually abused, and ever since then (and even before that) my mind has been very sexual. I masturbate a lot, watch a lot of porn, constantly have sexual thoughts (in general and about some people), and it's really scary. I don't know how to talk to people about it, doctor or therapist, since I've never told them about my sexual abuse. Should I be worried? While I'm not sexually active (I'm still a minor), I've really wanted to see how good it feels, too...
Rose asks:
I've always self-identified as bisexual because I think there are types of male and female that I fall in love with. But I never thought I would fall in love with trans people before. How do I define my sexual orientation if I like a trans man? Is it heterosexual if I like a trans man and treat her as a male? Because many people are used to treating a trans man's partner as straight girl or heterosexual girl. Or is self-defining as pansexual more appropriate for me?
Parvati asks:
I’m a 21 year old college student who is interested in being a better ally to my LGBTQ friends. I’ve joined the alliance at college and sometimes have discussions with the club about LGBTQ issues.I have fun, and it’s a good experience. Sometimes though, especially on social media, I feel like I need to agree with the most “progressive” side in order to be taken seriously as an ally. For example, some people say that gender does not exist or is 100% a social construct and angrily shout down anybody who politely disagrees. I have 3 questions: is gender really only a social construct?
Susan asks:
I'm a 15-year-old girl who's best friends with a 15-year-old boy. He just told me that he likes me, like a lot. He wants to start dating, but I haven't talked to him about the fact that I'm not sure I'm straight. I don't want anything to change between us, because I love him a lot, just not romantically. Please help!
lost asks:
Hi. First of all, thank you guys so much for being here; I've used so many of your resources before and found them so valuable, I really appreciate you <3 I am a college student who has had sex with one person before. This person was my boyfriend, who ended up emotionally abusing/manipulating me, psychologically abusing me (e.g. gaslighting), and sexually abusing me (coercion, assault, and rape).
Lilly asks:
I came out as bisexual to my family 7 months ago, and I am so very grateful that my parents are supportive. The thing is, I keep having to explain to my younger siblings that I like both genders and when I date the same gender I won't become gay or straight. Specifically to my 10-year-old sister. I don't know if this is just from lack of exposure to bisexuality, but I really don't like having to explain that if I eventually marry a man I won't become straight.
Zahra asks:
I am a teen girl/woman, and I want to be feminist. The problem is that it kind of seems like I'm not *feminist* enough to be feminist. I have long hair, wear dresses and skirts occasionally, and love makeup. It's not like I'm trying to please men or anything, or that I'm trying to wear clothes that "inhibit mobility," it's just something I like. It kind of seems like feminist people have cool, short hairstyles, and never wear makeup.
Mason asks:
I’m almost sixteen, but I’ve never felt any sort of sexual or romantic attraction towards other people. I can appreciate when someone’s attractive, but I just never feel any attraction. People sometimes ask me if I’m asexual or aromantic, but I don’t think so. Is sixteen too old to still be waiting to experience attraction?
A asks:
I know you probably get the "how do I ask someone out" question a lot, so I apologize in advance if this sounds a bit repetitive. There's this boy from my school that I've liked for quite a while, and I was planning on asking him out before schools closed due to COVID-19. Since we're only acquaintances, I don't have any way of contacting him outside of school. If we go back to school in-person, I still want to ask him out, or at least tell him I like him, but I think it's pretty likely that we'll have to follow strict social-distancing rules.
My boyfriend and I were making out, and I decided I wanted to go further and have oral sex with him. We discussed it before I did it and we both agreed it was the right time. As I was about to do it, I realized he was still soft. He was a little embarrassed by it, and I reassured him. But now I’m worrying it had something to do with me?