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Shaving woes

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Ashley asks:

Well I've been thinking about having sex with my bf, but like I shave and get red bumps. I've tried baby powder and even going slower, do you have any other things I could do to stop the bumps? My hair also grows back super fast, and most other girls dont have to worry about that. It really frutrates me. Please help!!!

Heather Corinna replies:

You're not likely to like my answer, but I'm going to say it anyway.

The easiest solution? Is just to quit with the shaving. Why care? That's a part of your body very few people likely see often, and those who do see it are likely only the people closest to you (and in the case of a boyfriend, someone who probably keeps his pubic hair just as it is).

Seriously, it's just not necessary. Sure, bikini models are going to have to worry about pubic shaving (and even that's pretty silly, since women have body hair), but if your job isn't on the line, and any given beauty ritual for you is more a pain than a pleasure -- and a double exclamation point frustration, no less -- it just doesn't make sense to keep it up. And by all means, if you can't come to a sex partner as you are, of all people, that's a pretty big bummer. Your partner should be someone you can let it all hang out with.

Other women DO get razor bumps from shaving: if you have the idea they don't, you're mistaken. If you're basing that on photos you see, know that's usually about photo retouching, or that you're looking at someone who has had laser hair removal done or who waxes, rather than shaves. And plenty of women have hair grow back fast: again, this isn't just about you.

So, my best suggestion is really to just not to something that's solely cosmetic when it's not pleasant nor is it tangibly benefitting you -- models get paid, after all: do you? -- in any way. And not shaving is an option many of us opt out of.

But if you feel like this is something you just HAVE to do (wah!), you can by all means consider wxing rather than shaving. You'll have to deal with growout periods now and then, but overall, it;s something you need to do less often and which doesn't usually result in the sore bumpety-bumps all the time, nor a quick growback.

Just be aware of one important sex safety tip: shaving or waxing RIGHT before sex can increase risks of sexually transmitted infections because of small abrasions. So, if you're going to remove pubic hair for sex, do at least be sure to do so a day or so ahead of time, rather than the day of.

written 19 Sep 2007 . updated 10 Jan 2013

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