Sexual satisfaction for her
Hollie replies:My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 5 months now and this is my first time having sex with a girl that I'm madly in love with. I never had any sexual problems prior to her, but they were girls that were just friends and we both agreed to have no strings attached. Every time we have vaginal entry it never seems to go right and she ends up being sore and uncomfortable. I try to comfort her and ask what I can do to make her more relaxed and comfortable and what may feel better for her. I care a lot about her pleasure and I want to turn our sex from a 1 to a 10. My erections come and go especially when we run into complications and when she starts feeling great pleasure I end up coming too fast, is there anything wrong with me? She is the only girl that I've been with who can make me precum more than once and make me cum fast. I get really embarrassed and down when this happens in front of her and I want to know what I can do to help myself and what I can do to make vaginal entry really enjoyable for her. She does enjoy vaginal entry but has never had an orgasm from it with me or other guys. I have given her many orgasms from other types of sex but vaginal entry seems to be a big problem. Is there anything wrong with me having a problem with getting an erection sometimes? I'm 21 years old and it bothers me that this happens. She just seems very hard to please and I want to be the best for her like I was for other girls.
First of all, you can rest assured, it certainly doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with either of you.
Erections come and go no matter who you are. As for ejaculating too fast, what is your definition of too fast? There is no certain time frame you need to worry about working under, and you don't need an erection to give your partner an orgasm. I get that you're embarrassed, but this is normal. Feel free to let your girlfriend know this if she's giving you a hard time about it.
If your girlfriend hasn't had a gynecologic exam yet, she needs to do so. There may be a medical reason behind the painful intercourse. If she's up-to-date with her exams, there are other things you can look for. Are you using additional lubricant? (Astroglide is a favorite around here.) Is she fully aroused before attempting penetration? The vagina lubricates and expands during arousal, and this can aide in penetration, making it more pleasurable for both of you.
Many, many women are unable to orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. There seems to be this notion that if a peson cannot orgasm from vaginal intercourse that someone's doing something wrong and this is simply NOT the case. Most people with vaginas require some sort of clitoral stimulation for orgasm, and unless you're in the perfect position (perfect for both of you; there is no standard perfect for everyone) or one of you is manually stimulating her clitoris, she just may not be able to orgasm from vaginal intercourse. There is no need to focus on her having an orgasm from vaginal intercourse. You know she can orgasm from other forms of sex; why not continue with these?
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