Advice

Putting the brakes on sex: How do I slow things down?

sofi52108
asks:
I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I have been very sexually active with him but now I want to slow things down and wait until I'm ready for marriage. I want to start everything over and just be a normal teenager. He doesn't seem to have any problems with this and I talked to him about it already, but I feel like there are problems....

Why do I feel so bad later when it feels so good at the time?

nikita
asks:
I am a 23 year old female in a serious relationship for the first time. I knew my boyfriend for 3 months and have seeing him seriously for 4 months now. The two of us are clear on no sex before marriage, but are physically intimate. I love to kiss him and cuddle up with him....

Enjoyment and Ejaculation: Inside and Outside

tammyj
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Is it true that an orgasm is more enjoyable for a guy if it happens inside his partner? Even though I take the pill religiously, I've always been afraid to let my partners finish inside me. I have them pull out and ejaculate their sperm on my stomach instead. No one has ever complained but I hate to think I'm robbing my boyfriend of pleasure. Any truth to this?...

Is something wrong with me because I like BDSM? Can I like it and still be a feminist?

alice42
asks:
For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on my imagining my own pain and humiliation. I am going out with someone for the first time now, and we've been together for almost eight months. Recently we've started experimenting with very mild SM-type things--tying each other up, biting, spanking. I love it, and so does he. But is this normal?...

He Can’t Orgasm … Is Diabetes to Blame?

Amber
asks:
I just stumbled across your wonderful site totally by accident and am really hoping you will be able to help me with a problem which is keeping me awake at night. I’ve been sexually active since I was 16. Since then, all of my male sexual partners have ejaculated during sex, but my current boyfriend is having a problem. This is affecting our sex life as I feel I must be doing something wrong....

I'm ready to go all the time but he never wants it...does that mean he is gay?

alluneedislove
asks:
Later into our relationship my boyfriend and I (both 17) had a lot of disagreements over sex. He rarely was "in the mood" while I was often ready to go. When I talked to my friends, they just said he was gay for not wanting to do anything with me. Could there be some other reason why he doesn't want to do sexual things with me?...

Attracted to women 24/7, but attracted to men in my fantasies--does that make me bisexual?

Anonymous
asks:
I am a 15 year old male. I have been straight my entire life and have some romantic experience with girls. As a whole I am very attracted to girls. I absolutely worship the female body, and am turned on by them. But recently I've had some thoughts about guys as well. I have watched some male pornography and found myself turned on by attractive male models online....

Is my boyfriend going off me, or is this about his friend's death?

kirsty
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Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months. I'm 14 and he's 15, and we are sexually active. But lately he doesn't text me the same as he used to, I have to ask him for hugs and kisses whereas he used to give me them all of the time, and it seems that he's avoiding me. His friend died last week: I don't know if that's the reason, but I love him so much, I don't want to lose him....

Where's my sex drive driven off to?

wanderingxaimless
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I'm an 18 year old girl with almost no sexual experience. This weekend I fooled around with my boyfriend for the first time ever and realized something--I was getting wet, but not horny. I also realized I hadn't been horny at all in the past few months. Is something wrong with me? How do I get my sex drive back?...

How do I deal with the results of a medical trauma or abuse?

malia
asks:
Hi, I'm sixteen and about four months ago I was treated at the hospital for severe anemia due to over excessive menstruation. While I was there, I had to have a pelvic exam done, and I'm already really shy, and I've never been touched like that or even have had a boyfriend. So the doctor (who was a man) was about to do it, but I was so scared he had to physically spread my legs apart....

Am I doomed to a sexless life if these scars don't fade?

insaneTrash
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I'm 15 years old (almost 16) and have self harmed for almost two years, my method being cutting. I'm now getting help for my issues and am trying to get on the road to recovery. But I have the most awful scars all over my thighs and hips. My family and close friends are aware of what’s happening, but I don't know how comfortable I'd be with telling a partner....

Age of Consent Clarification

kwmal93
asks:
Hi, my boyfriend and I both live in Florida and have been dating for a little over 7 months now. We are sexually active. I'm 16 and he's 20, can he get in trouble for being with me ?...

Is it appropriate to offer a blessing to someone pregnant from a rape?

doctors_daughter
asks:
I'd like to direct this question to Hanne Blank. I am Chassidishe, (I know, I shouldn't be on the internet) but needed to find something out that I can't ask my Rav (or anyone on Askmoses for that matter, especially since I know quite a few of their scholars). Does a person say Mazal Tov to an unwed mother? Jewish, maybe not frum, or even worse, a teen mother (again Jewish, VERY FRUM...)?...

...and then my Mom walked in on us.

emma
asks:
I'm 17, and recently me and my boyfriend decided to have sex for the first time. My mum was out, but she came back early and we didn't hear her! She ended up walking in on us just before we were going to have sex. She went mad and started screaming at me, and it was a really bad situation. She really doesn't want me to have sex until I'm married. But I feel ready now, I don't want to wait!...

What can I do to help him stop being so scared of pregnancy?

woah
asks:
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and we have even talked about getting married. We recently moved in together and to be honest we are as happy as two little beavers. Except for one thing, we haven’t had sex in over 2 years. It really isn’t a problem, we do other things (oral etc.) but we both would really like to go back to having sex....

Periods and flushing?

stina54
asks:
Hi, I'm 14-years old and I have a few questions. 1) OK so I first got my period about a year and a half ago, but they come really randomly. When is it probably going to develop a pattern? 2) So last night I had an itch, so I scratched my vagina. A few minutes later I realized that about a half hour earlier, when I went to the bathroom, I flushed the toilet AFTER I washed my hands....

OC's and libido

eskimoinaspeedo
asks:
I started Yaz almost 3 weeks ago and my libido isn't what it used to be, is there any way to get it back? Or do some pills have different effects than others?...

Societal and Familial Disapproval of an Age-Disparate Relationship

ccangl
asks:
I'm 21 years old and my boyfriend is 52. The age difference does not matter to me or to him but it bothers me that our families do not approve of the relationship. We love each other and even want to get married. Our sex life is great, we are on the same level spiritually and have lot in common....

Ejaculation in Eye

ramon1988
asks:
Hi my name is Ramon. My question is: Me and my boyfriend were masturbating and the time of ejaculation, it shot into his eye. We rinsed it out and he doesn't have pain anymore, but it does seem to be a bit swollen. What should we do?...

Am I behind the curve with sex compared to other teens?

Maya
asks:
It seems as if girls at my school are very experienced sexually. They all talk about hooking up, giving head, getting head, getting fingered, and all that sort of thing. I, having never even kissed a boy or had a boyfriend, feel a bit left behind. I wanted to know if most girls my age, 15 (like on average), have had sexual experience like this. ...

I want to save sex for later in relationships, but I can't do that... can I?

Miss Anonymous
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I am worried about sex, and I don't think its normal at my age (24) but I don't know what to do about it. I was raised in a really strict family and so I didn't lose my virginity til I was 21 which was really way later than everyone else, even my younger sister. I wasn't really ready but I was sort of curious and I did it to please my boyfriend and lots of other reasons....

Is intercourse a violence or a violation?

stullis
asks:
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly six months now. I've always had a bit of a problem having sex with people (keeping it up) but this problem has never occurred between me and her. However, lately I've begun to feel very guilty about the physical action of having sex....

How can I give my sister a good sex education?

RespectIsSexy
asks:
I am 17, and I have a 15 year old sister who is Autistic. I also come from an EXTREMELY Catholic family. I never got a sex talk - I straight-up asked my dad what sex meant when I was 9 or 10, and he gave me some very unhelpful answer about a gift that God intended to be shared between a man and a woman in marriage....