I'm 15 and wondering about ejaculation. my girlfriend's given me handjobs/blowjobs before but i've always stopped her before ejaculating. i just thought it was an extravagant porn type thing to come in her mouth, but the other day my friends convinced me otherwise. It's not because i'm too nervous, i just thought otherwise. is she expecting me to go in her mouth, or are most handjobs/blowjobs used for foreplay.

oh, and i'm partially asking this because (differently from when i masturbate) she gets me excited a lot quicker and it doesn't take long before I'm know im going to ejaculate. i've only got oral a few times, is it because these times are my first, or do you think i won't grow out of that.

Hi,

Let's see, she's got her hand or mouth on your penis, but you need to write to us to ask about what she wants instead of asking the only person who counts, which is her.

I suspect you are thinking that we guys need to magically know all there is to know about sex without asking. And what I'm suggesting to you is that THE MOST important thing you'll ever know about sex is the importance of asking the person you are having sex with.

First of all, we don't know how she feels about the look, feel and taste of your cum. Maybe she will think it's really cool watching it spurt out, maybe she'll think it's gross, and maybe her main concern will be what to do with the sticky stuff after it arrives. So the absolute very best thing you can do is ask her what you asked Scarleteen! Also, tell her that she so excites you that it's not always possible for you to give her a verbal warning for when you are going to come, especially if she's giving you a blow job. Work with her on learning some of your body's cues. Maybe she already knows--for instance, the head of your penis might start to swell or your breathing and the sounds you make might change, or your body tension might change.

Also, if she's going to start giving you oral sex, I trust that you are giving in return if that's what she likes. And if you are, be sure to ask her for lots and lots of feedback. Tell her you want to learn how to do it just the way she likes, and you need her help and feedback.

Again, the most important thing is for the two of you to talk together about these things, and I wouldn't start the conversation when she's got her hand in your pants or yours in hers. Talk about it when you've got your clothes on, and when you've got an hour or two of private time together, and don't assume that you'll get it covered in just one conversation. It might seem really awkward at first for both of you. This is just fine.

Try to become a man whose partners can feel safe in talking to about sex, and you'll be miles ahead of your other guy friends when it comes to making love.

Paul--author, "Guide To Getting It On!"